We are in serious trouble.......

QTPie

burkey38 wrote: »

I have to blame myself for some of this, I knew she was hopeless with money and did keep an eye on our bank account but I'm on the road every day at 7.00am so if credit cards were applied for , she would get to the post before me.

Don't blame yourself - your wife is an adult and SHOULD be able to take responsibility for herself... BUT she appears to need some serious help....

Be constructive and look onwards an upwards: you will get out of it. Just take all of the advice you can get (CAB, mortgage advisor, etc.etc) AND get some professional help for your wife (maybe CAB again, maybe her GP), that might also help to reduce her sentence. If her mental health is that serious, you might be able to get "power of attorney" (or something similar) to stop her being able to apply for credit cards, loans etc.

Keep reassuring her that you love her and will support her, but keep an eye out for where this cash could be going. Can you look at her bank statements? Or didn't it ever go through her account (i.e. stayed as cash)?

It might also be worth checking out her new laptop (websites that she frequently visits). A REAL risk for getting people into debt these days is online gambling (including things like Bingo - which is actively marketed at women). An employee of my husband's has run up £10k's of debt on online gambling over the past year or so. It is VERY easily done, very addictive and often VERY difficult to admit that they have a problem... . If your wife has a problem like that she is probably scared that admitting it would push you over the edge and drive you away... It might not be the cash, but you do need to work out where that money is going.

Best Wishes
QT

Uncle_Rico

AMILLIONDOLLARS wrote: »

Another thought because your wife will no longer be earning, you might be entitled to an increase in your Tax Credit.

AMD

Yeah, the taxpayers money is being wasted on everything else at the moment, so they might as well get their share of it. :mad:

LandyAndy

burkey38 wrote: »

I have Cerebral Palsy and it never stopped me or gave me an urge to steal cos I figured the world owed me a living.

Every day brings something new......

I wonder if SP is reading this?

lynnexxxo

I would suggest that the amount you are getting in tax credits sounds pretty wrong. You say that you earn 1200 a month after tax, so about 18k per year + whatever you OH was paid. £1000 a month tax credits sounds way to much.

Sorry if I sound like I'm adding to the bad news you and your family are having. I just thought you would want to collect all the facts.

RainMaker_2

burkey38 wrote: »

I happen to think I'm a damn fine husband since you ask and this is the SECOND TIME she has done this.

I admire you for sticking by her a second time. I don't think I could do it.

We all make mistakes, and most people deserve a second chance. But twice ? No sir. If it was me, I'd be planning an exit as painlessly as possible for the sake of the children.

Euphoria1z

lynnexxxo wrote: »

I would suggest that the amount you are getting in tax credits sounds pretty wrong. You say that you earn 1200 a month after tax, so about 18k per year + whatever you OH was paid. £1000 a month tax credits sounds way to much.

Sorry if I sound like I'm adding to the bad news you and your family are having. I just thought you would want to collect all the facts.

i was thinking the exact same, how the hell do you get 1k in tax credits!!!
in on a basic 16k salary, my wife doesnt work, and we only get less than £250 per month on tax credits!!

JonathanA

Whilst there are short term issues that need to be addressed, please don't think that your wife won't be able to secure employment in the future, whether or not a custodial sentence is imposed. It may not be easy, but many employers will recruit people, even if they have a theft from employer conviction. However, any future work is unlikely, initially, to be at manager level and almost certainly will be in an environment that does not involve dealing with cash.

I wish you luck and hope you have a family that is also able to support you and your wife at this time.

lukeface

My partner works for CPS, she has said that the likely outcome as from what you have said above would be a suspended sentence with either community service of 450-500 Hours or full costs to be repaid of 25k to the company at loss + court fees, this also could go the other way depending on what judge she receives and impose both community service and costs.

If this is her first conviction and pleads guilty then obviously her sentence will be full credited which counts to 25% of the sentence and obviously good behaviour is taken in to account for no previous convictions.

I must stress though that this is not only a deception case (fraud) its a breach of trust case, not all the time the prosecution pick up on this and it goes Un-noticed but if they do then due to the amount involved a immediate custody sentence will be imposed of up to 10years imprisonment, due to breach of trust cases carrying a automatic prison sentence.

If they do not pick up on the breach of trust and the judge feels a custody sentence is the only option then she can be imprisoned for up to 5 years, though with the guilty plea and no previous I would expect that a prison sentence of up to 2 years will be handed down.

I would also advise that your wife make sure's that her barrister pushe's for a pre-sentence report which will allow your wife to be examined by the probation services to see what sentence is suitable and to see if she fully understands what she has done, and strongly would advise that this is pushed for.

I hope this all helps.

The_Saver_2

Burkey,

First of all, can I say that whilst everyone's reactions to your situation differs, we all offer you our complete support and best wishes.
On a practical note, I do agree with many posters in that you need to understand where the money went. Is it possible for you to get copies of your credit card/bank statements over the last 12 months so you can get a feel for some of the items your wife bought?
Also (and I don't know how you can achieve this), is it worth trying to restrict her access to your credit cards and bank account at the moment? This is only so that she doesn't go on a spending spree while she's at home.

smartpicture

Whilst 'where the money went' is a question worth asking, the more pressing issue is to make sure that no further debts are run up. It's imperative that you remove all of her credit cards, debit cards etc and control what money she has access to from this point on. I know that sounds like treating her as a child, but for you to have any hope of getting through this as a family, then you need to take control of all finances and stop things getting any worse. Getting a copy of her credit report will ensure that you know what credit cards or other debts are involved.

Beware though, a friend of mine is hopeless with money so her husband took control of their finances, so she stole cheques out of the middle of his cheque book so he wouldn't notice and forged his signature. They're still together, but people in the grip of this kind of spending compulsion can be very inventive. I don't believe you can live like this indefinitely, you need to help educate her to be more financially sensible, but the immediate problem is to stop more debts by any means possible.