We are in serious trouble.......

Inforapennyinforapound

The op has not updated as yet which is a shame as there have been many willing and helpful people on this thread...

But i see that he has recently posted on the Reclaim Bank and Credit charges board regarding bank charges and joint accounts??

JoeyG

I'm reading this thinking, if this the OP was a female with young kids, claiming her husband had stolen and frittered away a large sum of cash, the responses would be very different

charliee_3

you have so many replies i havent time to read them, but my gut instinct is she was rying to pay off her debt liabilites with it if you dont have any physical evidence of where it went.. in the first instance i would do as someone said and get her credit report. this will list all her credit cards and loans. get all those cards and cut them up. dont even let her have a debit card. work out how much cash she needs for day to day stuff and give it to her on a weekly basis. She cannot be trusted with plastic. I had to do this (to a lesser extent) with my OH as he had racked up huge CC debt and was in denial about it. you need to take over all the family finances, open ALL the mail so she cant throw away CC statements etc...
is there a chance she will go to prison? its quite a lot of money...
good luck, sounds like you will need it...

charliee_3

re: her getting to the post first, would it be worth setting up a redirection to a friend or family member so you can pick it all up??

CharleneUK

Any updates OP?

I do hope you find a reasonable conclusion to this.

x

burkey38

Thanks for all answers to the post.

Since her 1st court hearing in March, absolutely nothing has happened, I have phoned our solicitor several times for an update and he has contacted the people handling the case and they have nothing further to add.

It's like we're in limbo....

clutton_2

what an awful place to be in - with no sense of closure on this.

is she still racking up debts to your knowledge ? have you found any counselling for her ?

how are the boys doing ?

burkey38

The boys are doing fine, thanks for asking.

It really hasn't affected them that much, when it gets to me I go for a walk and tell myself I'll get through it for them and there's people worse off than me.

She's not racking up any more debts, I have total control of all the money going in and out of the household(as I should have done a long time ago but I love her and just trusted her too much)

What she has is an illness/addiction which she is getting counselling for

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK

OP poster I hope everything goes well for you, this is a terrible place to be in.

Years ago the secretary at the school my son was at stole approx 18/20k as her and her husband wee in debt and she didn't know how they were going to pay it of, I don't actually think her husband knew about the theft until she was arrested. She was given a custodial sentence of approx 2 years. I remember seeing her at the school after she had been released picking her children up and I felt really sorry for her as she was being avoided by all but 2 friends who stuck by her. She paid for what she did , what happened to the money she stole I have no idea but she was very brave for going back there to collect her children from school.

debt can cause desperation.