Depression Support Thread

Sssssss

absolutebounder wrote: »

Sssssss wrote: »

So what do you think, did I do right to stand up for myself or should I just have kept quite, because the last thing I want to do is end up going backwards after a 2 year fight to get this far. And what do I do if he starts up again. As for the money the job center have said they'll sort it out.

quote]
Of course you did right.. what would happen if you didnt stand up for yourself.
Feels good doesnt it:D

it felt damn good and the supervisor was also in the meeting, she kept telling the idiot to tone it down or that he was wrong at no stage did she disagree with me. Only worry is whilst I was strong in the meeting after I left I was in floods of tears and ready to walk out but this is what I want to avoid. Anyway I'm not working until next Monday now so hopefully things will calm down by then.

absolutebounder

Sssssss wrote: »

absolutebounder wrote: »

it felt damn good and the supervisor was also in the meeting, she kept telling the idiot to tone it down or that he was wrong at no stage did she disagree with me. Only worry is whilst I was strong in the meeting after I left I was in floods of tears and ready to walk out but this is what I want to avoid. Anyway I'm not working until next Monday now so hopefully things will calm down by then.

The tears come from fear. Fear is a future emotion ie it is fear that something MIGHT happen, however it might not you dont know until you get there so its worth trying to think in the opposite way to the fear as that MIGHT happen too.
When you go back to work just get on with your job and act as if nothing had happened. if he says anything just reply to effect that you have said your piece and its time to move on. Then take a bit of high ground and say something like " Obviously as a manager you realise a happy work place is an efficient one so I for one dont believe in bearing grudges as its counter productive"
If there is one thing men are better at than women its having an argument and then forgetting about it. You may find that now he knows you are not a pushover he actually gives you a bit of respect but you must also respect that he is the manager no matter how crap he is and if things go higher it is your backside that may end up being kicked:rotfl:

clipboard2

Alas...am back in UK...
Thanks Tiff for posting your hilarious church sign - you have inspired me share these little gems. Hope your spirits are lifted everyone. Enjoy!

Signs seen outside churches.......

Read the Bible. It will scare the hell out of you.

Gambling is a sin. Bet you can't give up.

Down in the mouth? Come in for a faith lift.

All services here are different. We leave the repeats to TV.

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

Speak well of your enemies. After all you made them.

Staying in bed shouting "Oh God" does not constitute going to church.

To our Christian friends: Happy Easter
To our Jewish friends: Happy Passover
To our athiest friends: Good luck

Let us help you study for your final exams.

Don't be so open minded. Your brains will fall out.

Over 2000 years old and still under the makers guarantee

God is perfect. Only man makes mitsakes.

Everlasting life, free coffee. Yes, membership has its benefits.

There are some questions that can't be answered by Google.

And finally....

As you pass this little church
Be sure to plan a visit
So when at last you're carried in
God won't ask 'who is it?':rotfl:

Love and prayers to all who need them. CB2X

beachbeth

I agree with AB and think you should act as though nothing has happened, Sssssss. I think its more important that you didn't break down in tears during the meeting and managed to stay strong. The fact that you did this afterwards doesn't matter - you stayed strong, made your point and at the right time too and this is what is important.

My OH is going to ring Personnel tomorrow and make it clear what we think of their wishy washy way of dealing with such a serious subject. If we get no joy then we will ask to speak to someone higher up and I will definitely send a recorded delivery letter. I would really like to take this to the police now but, of course, its my daughter that would have to make the statement and she is already upset about the whole business and I don't want to force her to do it.

By the way, it is a chain of well known supermarkets where she works - think of the Spar but bigger. They are into recycling and fairtrade products, but not, it seems, into protecting their staff from assault.:rolleyes:

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Morning! hope all is well,I am fine today,off to see my church friends soon,then have lunch and then do a food shop.Happy Birthday to RBK sorry I didnt say sooner but didnt know it was your birthday *hugs*


Have a lovely day everyone


love and light,

Katie xxx

whitevanwoman

beachbeth wrote: »

I agree with AB and think you should act as though nothing has happened, Sssssss. I think its more important that you didn't break down in tears during the meeting and managed to stay strong. The fact that you did this afterwards doesn't matter - you stayed strong, made your point and at the right time too and this is what is important.

My OH is going to ring Personnel tomorrow and make it clear what we think of their wishy washy way of dealing with such a serious subject. If we get no joy then we will ask to speak to someone higher up and I will definitely send a recorded delivery letter. I would really like to take this to the police now but, of course, its my daughter that would have to make the statement and she is already upset about the whole business and I don't want to force her to do it.

By the way, it is a chain of well known supermarkets where she works - think of the Spar but bigger. They are into recycling and fairtrade products, but not, it seems, into protecting their staff from assault.:rolleyes:

I've never been through anything like this but from what I know, the police are now very good at dealing with this kind of issue, and are very sensitive, especially where a young person is involved. I would think that at this stage, they would be able to take a statement from you and then take a statement from your daughter as and when she feels ready to do it.

I am actually quite horrified by the lack of response to this by such a major retail chain. I know that this is the last thing that you would want but if this kind of thing got into the press, it could do them alot of damage, and I would think that there could be no harm if you suggested the management that you are considering this as an option (even if you aren't - they don't know that).

The other thing that occurs to me is that they may well have broken (and are still breaking, by not dealing properly with this) Health and Safety law and possibly their own terms and conditions - I would ask to see a copy of their risk assessments for staff safety, their health and safety policy and their grievance policy - if nothing else, by asking for those it should make it clear to them that you are not going to let this go. I would also suggest that your daughter puts something in writing to the effect that she gives you permission to deal with this on her behalf (for health reasons, that she has been so affected that she is unable to deal with this herself). Has she been to her GP and ask for this incident and the way it is affecting her to be put on her medical records?

Just like the situation with Ssss, this kind of thing makes me so angry. There are laws in place to protect us from this kind of thing but those in positions of power and authority seem to think that those laws aren't worth the paper they are written on and it's those at the bottom of the pile who have to try to pick up the pieces and deal with it. It is really hard and it takes alot of work and effort to fight but at least at the end of the day, by doing so, you might be protecting some other young woman from a similar experience.

I know you probably need this like a hole in the head at the moment but maybe all this is taking your mind off your Incap Ben problems. If nothing else, by fighting this for your daughter, it should make her realise just how much you care about her (although I'm sure she knows that already) and just how much you are prepared to do for her.

Good for you - don't let the "illigitimi" grind you down - hit back!

rosepink1984

I've just checked my work phone and they have called asking for my time sheet for three weeks ago. I sent it that week! I phoned them back and told them that and what I worked that week, but they really didn't believe me. "oh it's a bit odd that it hasn't arrived" in sarcastic voice.
At first I was annoyed, but now in floods of tears and feel utterly defeated.Why wouldn't I send it? I don't get paid unless I do! I expect I'm blowing it out of proportion but on top of the suspension thing I just feel helpless. I don't know who to turn to or talk to about it all.
I've phoned and left a message with my support worker, and might phone the GP and get an appointment.
Because I never had a proper induction at work (half an hour - here's your phone and some leaflets to read) I don't know who is my boss's boss or who to contact when things aren't going well.

absolutebounder

rosepink1984 wrote: »

I've just checked my work phone and they have called asking for my time sheet for three weeks ago. I sent it that week! I phoned them back and told them that and what I worked that week, but they really didn't believe me. "oh it's a bit odd that it hasn't arrived" in sarcastic voice.
.

I get that when i send things to other places, and when they say that. i just reply withsomething like. "oh im sure the post has delivered it because it was sent 1st class, i expect someone has accidentally mis placed it"
That way you neatly pass the blame from the post office to another member of staff:D

whitevanwoman

rosepink1984 wrote: »

I've just checked my work phone and they have called asking for my time sheet for three weeks ago. I sent it that week! I phoned them back and told them that and what I worked that week, but they really didn't believe me. "oh it's a bit odd that it hasn't arrived" in sarcastic voice.
At first I was annoyed, but now in floods of tears and feel utterly defeated.Why wouldn't I send it? I don't get paid unless I do! I expect I'm blowing it out of proportion but on top of the suspension thing I just feel helpless. I don't know who to turn to or talk to about it all.
I've phoned and left a message with my support worker, and might phone the GP and get an appointment.
Because I never had a proper induction at work (half an hour - here's your phone and some leaflets to read) I don't know who is my boss's boss or who to contact when things aren't going well.

Hang on in there - you've done nothing wrong. I'm afraid I can't post much now as I'm rushing to get out to a dentist's appt but I can feel my hackles rising with your employers too, as well as with Ssss's employers and Beachbeth's daughter's employers. I'll post more later. Just really try not to let this get to you. Make a GPs appt and have a chat with your support worker. Have a look at the ACAS website too - there is lots of info about different types of contracts etc - sounds like you are on a zero hours or casual contract. Information is power. See what you can find out. Back later.

Wish me luck - I think it's root canal work at the dentists :eek:

absolutebounder

beachbeth wrote: »

My OH is going to ring Personnel tomorrow and make it clear what we think of their wishy washy way of dealing with such a serious subject. If we get no joy then we will ask to speak to someone higher up and I will definitely send a recorded delivery letter. I would really like to take this to the police now but, of course, its my daughter that would have to make the statement and she is already upset about the whole business and I don't want to force her to do it.

By the way, it is a chain of well known supermarkets where she works - think of the Spar but bigger. They are into recycling and fairtrade products, but not, it seems, into protecting their staff from assault.:rolleyes:

You could ask the CEO of the Coop why they accept drunk and disorderly behaviour from their managers on their premises. You most likely wont get a reply from the CEO but he will kick someones butt in the right place. You could say that as a concerned parent you are considdering going to the police unless the guy is moved. and point out that whichever way the case goes the publicity isnt going to look good for the shop.