Can you use a voucher on a first date? poll discussion

blue_monkey_2

I also chose: Run like the wind and I am a woman.

For a first date and if someone has asked you out then you want to feel special, not feel like they are only taking you as they have a voucher to get rid of.

Now for a 2nd date I'd be happy with 'I've a voucher for Pizza Express if you are up for it' then that would be fine. But for that first date it would be nice to know that you are worth paying that extra bit of money on.

Of course, if he paid at the till or waited until I was in the loo so I was none the wiser then that would be fine with me.

N1AK

Paying with a voucher is just too risky on a first date. Regardless of everything else, you simply don't know how the other party will take it.

I actually think the advice about doing it subtly is equally bad, if not worse. If it is noticed then it will look worse than just be up front about it.

omelette451

blue_monkey wrote: »

Of course, if he paid at the till or waited until I was in the loo so I was none the wiser then that would be fine with me.

So, extending your 'out of sight, out of mind' and 'what I don't know won't hurt me' logic just a little further, would it be ok if he had a little affair, as long as you never suspected anything...?

blue_monkey_2

LOL, that has to be the most ridiculous comparison EVER. Who thanked you for that?? Using a voucher when I could not see to pay for dinner on a first date is a little bit different than having an affair. Sounds to me like you've got trust issues!!

He could pick his nose and eat it while I am in the loo for all I care - out of sight out of mind - does that mean that he is going to have an affair because I never suspected anything? That would gross me out too if I saw it!!

See, it is just about as ridiculous as your comparison.

omelette451

blue_monkey wrote: »

LOL, that has to be the most ridiculous comparison EVER. Who thanked you for that?? Using a voucher when I could not see to pay for dinner on a first date is a little bit different than having an affair. Sounds to me like you've got trust issues!!

He could pick his nose and eat it while I am in the loo for all I care - out of sight out of mind - does that mean that he is going to have an affair because I never suspected anything? That would gross me out too if I saw it!!

See, it is just about as ridiculous as your comparison.

My comparison was not ridiculous. The logic was exactly the same as yours, it's just that morals intervene to make it different in practice.*

I was not suggesting that he would, could or should have an affair: I was merely playing 'devil's advocate' in an attempt to point out the flaw in your argument. I personally would be right on the other side: I think people should be honest with each other and that it would be hypocritical and deceitful to say he could do it but only she didn't know about it. In any case if he's a MoneySaver and she's not (or vice-versa) it's bound to cause difficulties sooner or later, so surely it's best to find out early on?

(*Incidentally, in some cultures the logic does carry forward to illicit affairs: the French, for example, have the 'cinq à sept', which refers to the time when people - both men and women - see their lovers between leaving work and arriving home and is generally considered an acceptable fact of life as long as it doesn't interfere with family life. But that's another story.)

SarahShattered

My reaction is a combination of the answers.

If I was in that situation I think my initial reaction would be :eek: tight wad! Then I'd think fair enough, that's pretty money sensible. Then I'd think... but bloomin eck, it's a first date!!

However.....

I guess a bit of discretion would help. Discretely slipping the voucher onto the plate with payment would be better than whipping it out with a flourish and waving it in front of me. That would be ideal for me. Money saving and aware that it might not be the best thing to do on a first date.

Marcusx_2

Bob is paying.
Does Sarah fancy Bob, or how much money she thinks he has?

brightonman123

combined men & women's votes for 'not an issue' leading at present.. (20 + 25 = 45% of total)

so, any ladeees fancy coming to burger king? meal dals only £2.99 !

:rotfl::money:

gozaimasu

andrina_nightshade wrote: »

However, a friend of mine arranged to go on a date to the cinema. Her date agreed to pay, but when they reached the front of the queue, he turned to her and said, "I hope you've got your student card, I'm not paying full price for you." Suffice to say, she didn't stick around. There's good money sense, and then there's just plain rudeness.

A lot of these stories have left me open mouthed in shock, but none more so than this one! I can't believe someone would say that!! I think a lot of these things depend on the way you say things and the tone of voice you use...but if he phrased it exactly in this way then he can get to f***!

I'm ok with voucher use, but preferably it should be mentioned beforehand, and definitely not just whipped out at the table! In the name of equality I'd also prefer if couples went dutch...there is a time and a place when a woman should accept or expect to be treated, and it's not all the time!

omelette451

gozaimasu wrote: »

there is a time and a place when a woman should accept or expect to be treated, and it's not all the time!

Hear hear!