Dating in debt

Muhren

Yeah I am glad she told me even if I was a bit surprised.

rdwarr

My ideal date will have no trouble dealing with debt issues. I'm attracted to those fine young ladies from the Wonga adverts.

It's just a matter of deciding which one to ask out first....

dreamdreamer

I met my boyfriend about a month after my light bulb moment. I was semi-upfront about the fact I had debt, but not the extent at first. He had no debt (but no savings) and was paid a good wage. He knew from the outset that I had little to no disposable income and that I didn't want him to go crazy spending money on me. Our first date was dinner and movies at my house and our second was a walk along the beach and fish and chips near his house. You really don't need to flash the cash to attract a woman. I knew he was "the one" within a month of meeting him and he'd probably spent all of £50 on our dates!

It was about 6 weeks in that I told him the full extent of my debt and the horrific payday loan cycle I was in. He was great, I didn't want him to pay for anything but he absolutely insisted on paying the payday loan off (£800) to get the imminent problem gone. However he was quite clear that he wouldn't stay with me if I continued to rack up debt, that he would help support me while I paid it all off, but I WAS paying it off.

I paid every penny off myself, but he quietly worked in the background buying me little treats when I got fed up, and generally making my debt free journey easier.

Anyway 5 years later I'm debt free, we're still together, and truly appreciate having a bit more to spend now than we did at the start. Now we CAN go to the cinema, go for meals, go on holidays etc, but actually we find we're just as happy watching a DVD with a bottle of wine at home, or using our tesco vouchers for a nice meal out. We had our first big holiday this year, but next year we plan on getting a caravan for a week and doing some hillwalking! Our favourite way to spend a Saturday is a bike ride, a swim in the broads, and a picnic.

Ironically me being in so much debt has taught BOTH of us the importance of spending within your means and that it's your TIME that's of value, not your money.

Muhren

I felt really down on Friday but went away for the weekend and feel a lot better about things now and think I should take your advice Kat and man up a bit! I do have down days due to my depression and my debt I guess but a weekend being at one with nature has given me a different perspective on things.

NinjaSavingKat

Being at one with nature generally means being naked right?...(kidding).. I think the great expance of being outdoors, sunshine and even the rain can give us a better persepctive on life and perhaps it's just not your time to have someone in your life - she may have been detrimental to your recovery - financially and mentally.

Perhaps there were words said by her that you don't want to share and that are making this even more difficult - and yes sometimes the simple shock is enough to send us off kilter...

But I believe when you find the One she will have found you too! Chin up old chum - it can only go up from here...

Muhren

There was definately no nakedness, the water was far too cold for that!

Thank you for replying, I think you are probably right. I need to get myself sorted before anything else I think.