Dating in debt

Calling14

You mean we can go out and date when in debt? I struggle to find the motivation at the moment, along with cost( have to been seen to pay your own way) plus dating sites so many guys look nothing like their pics, lie about their height, size. Think prefer a bottle of wine and a dvd to that ordeal. One day my Prince will come if he could hurry along and be filthy rich would help ;-)

Muhren

Well I went out on a date on Friday, we just went for a quiet drink so didn't spend too much she only had one drink (I did offer to buy her another but she didn't want one). We are meeting up again on Thursday. She has also said that she would like to go out for a meal, but from the suggestions on here I might see if she wants to cook something togther, although I don't know if she will be ready for me to go round her house just yet!

She knows that I have moved back home due to financial ssues but doesn't know the extent. She has also said that she doesn't want to go into too much personal detail about anything too early on so I am not going to tell her that gambling is the reason for my problems, not yet anyway.

If anyone is interested I will let you know how it all goes?

Calling14

Probably bit pushy expecting to go over to hers yet. Walk and bag of chips beach/ river location? Good luck keep us updated :j

NinjaSavingKat

Okay I have read this all the way through. Very entertaining. However I feel it prudent to add my single-lady tuppence worth...:T

Right now I am in selfish mode. I want my debt gone which means working a lot and most weekends and throwing any spare cash at my debt. What man would put up with that really...?

I have no inclination to buy new clothes and those that I have aren't "dating" material - yes it shouldn't matter - but we all know it does don't we.

I am not secretive about my debt - I am telling everyone who will listen as I am determined we - the little people - can get one over on the banks by paying it all off... however I am a little militant for some.... *if you want to bring coupons or a taste card on our date thats fine. To me that's common sense...:p

Dinner for me is the easy option for boys - no thought - no imagination and off-putting - it means I am just another "date" and nothing special. A picnic is more suited to my tastes, preferebly where I can wear a real girly dress, sit amoungst flowers and enjoy the outdoors...less pretentious and less scary. I can run fast if he turns into a weirdo as well.... :p

On a first date there is no way I would offer to pay - simple as that. If he wants ME to be with HIM - he has to pay. Expecially as I am a vegan and not willing to pay for sub-standard vegan/vegetarian alternatives... second date is clearly a mutual thing. You like each other. Then it's 50/50... why am I like this..?? Cause I don't drink and it'll be a cheap first date for him anyway - ha!! :rotfl:

Muhren if you asked to go to mine on the second date to cook I would tell you where to go... ask her to yours. Tell her your Ma is out (make sure she is) - but she might feel "safer" knowing someone else is coming home soon... you have to compromise somewhere... expensive date you can't afford? Or end a cheap date early cause you have to let your Ma back in...?..:) and yes keep us updated..

Muhren

Calling14 wrote: »

Probably bit pushy expecting to go over to hers yet. Walk and bag of chips beach/ river location? Good luck keep us updated :j

I have suggested the idea of going for a walk which to my surprise she wasn't at all in favour of!

andrar

haha Kat - you sound just like me!

I have given up on dating as my last bf just couldn't get past not wanting to go out every date and spend heaps of cash I didn't have. I'm all up for being thrifty right now but it just doesn't lend itself to the guys I meet so for now i'm a date-free zone

Although I am all about the 50:50 - I like to be offered to have stuff paid for me but it doesn't sit well for me not paying half of everything. I'm all about equality and that includes wages, jobs and dating!

bellaboo86

Maybe you just need to change the type of girl you go for. I was very impressed when I guy I liked had learnt what my fav chocolate was and had some waiting for me when I went round for a dvd night. I was touched by the thought even though it cost him less than a £1.

Muhren

I am giving up on dating!!!!!

I saw her again last night and thought things went well, even had a little kiss at the end of the night. She text me when she got in asking how she thought it had gone, so I told her I had a good time and asked what she thought. She said she had a good time but didn't feeel that we clicked.

I think I am destined to be single. I know this hasn't really got anything to do with dating it debt but just thought I would update you on what happened.

quantic

When I met my partner I was in the middle of saving up for a house, I know this isn't debt but she wasn't at the same place mentally and was quite happy at home and spending everything she earned. This made it quite difficult as I was always trying to keep spending down where possible without feeling embarrassed about it. This meant we had to be pretty creative with our dates at times and I'm sure I probably seemed boring compared to others.

That said, she was always respectful and wanted to pay her share, whereas her mates always went on about the lad paying for things, beleive it or not one of them actually dumped someone because she offered to pay and he let her (!!).

I know I'm rambling now but the moral of the story is we are now VERY happily married, and have money to enjoy with each other. Sometimes I think this sort of story yields a much purer relationship as I often wonder would people around me even be with their partners without the expensive weekends away, gifts and the rest of it.

Obviously I would be happy to give my partner anything I can now, but its always nice to know she wasn't bothered in the beginning when I couldnt

NinjaSavingKat

Muhren wrote: »

I am giving up on dating!!!!!

Would you prefer she lied and let you take her out and plan a few more months of dating and then tell you? She was being honest - doesn't mean you are allowed to be a wuss and give up...:p..

There is someone waiting for you sunshine... who will be happy with beans on toast until you are debt fee... now stop whinging and put a smile on your mug....

That someone else could be watching you right now.........:)