If things get tougher?

oldMcDonald

Hi Becca

My kids are 5,8,9,10 and 12 and so are a similar age to yours I think your kids will learn from you and if you don't act like 'living like the old times' is a hardship then they will not think of it as such.

We don't live like many others our age do, for instance, we don't have a TV, so the kids don't get the constant 'buy this, want that' based advertising 24/7 - I think that this has really helped them gain some idea of what is a want and what is a need. We don't buy branded foods, they rarely get new clothes (friends hand-me-downs seem to have been only worn once or twice before being discarded), we grow most of our own veg, spend loads of time out walking and foraging, the kids cook as and when they wish to - they love to experiment with home grown and foraged food, and - I believe this is important - we involve them in any money decisions.

I have been told many times by friends and family that it is cruel to make children wear second hand clothes / not to have a TV / etc. etc. but, you know, my kids really don't mind. I don't believe generations previous to mine had these things and they all seemed to grow up quite healthy. My 12yo has many conversations with his friends about his 'recycled' clothes verses their named sportswear and he often tells me that he believes that the other kids are too worried about what others think about what they wear, and how he is surprised by how wasteful other kids are.

What I am trying to say is, we went through a really hard time financially a few years ago, we explained to the children why we were choosing to live a certain way and they understood. I think most children can drop the 'as long as I am happy' stage quite quickly and are able to understand what is important and what reallyis just peer-pressure.

Edit to add - loving this thread and reading all your memories, thanks so much for shareing them

mary43

When we went through hard times in the 70's I sat my two kids down, young as they were, and showed them the bills I had to pay, adding it all up and then showing them how much money came into the house every week. They quickly understood the mathematics of it all and never asked me for anything. In fact even to this day, adults now they are, come christmas and birthdays and I ask them what they'd like and they happily say, whatever you like Mum, it doesnt matter if we don't have anything. My grandchildren have been really spoilt by their other grandparents and have as much as any teenager could have but it hasn't taken away their values.............they dont live with their dad but know that he had hardships when he first lived apart from them and appreciate anything that's given. This christmas they'll have a 'box of allsorts' and they're thrilled that they'll have something not on any christmas list -it'll be a complete surprise for them, a lot of fun and to me, thats what christmas should be about.

Sarahsaver

My kids have been fighting over who gets to make paper logs with the log maker

i have always told them how much things cost or if something is too expensive. I am sure a lot of kids do not get told 'i can't afford it'. not those of people on this thread though;)

Sarahsaver

HOW do you get kids 'on board'? How do we take a big step back without making them feel deprived

i decided i would start as I meant to go on. my kids have had charity shop clothes since birth, gone to the market and I knew my DD could read when she picked something up saying 'buy one get one free' and they know to look on the reduced to clear shelves.
also the word no is a good one which too many people are afraid to use;)

oldMcDonald

Sarahsaver wrote: »

My kids have been fighting over who gets to make paper logs with the log maker

We had one of those when we used to have a real fire in our old house (you lucky thing, you - I miss my fire). When we went to drop our bottles and jars off at the recycling centre I always chose one in a quiet car park so I could refill my emptied boxes that had held the jars with paper from the paper bank! A bit naughty I know, but it gave us free newspaper-logs

Sarahsaver

It's great cos hubby is bring his workmates newspaper home, and thinking i would not have enough paper, well there's cereal boxes, junk mail, catalogues

Beccatje

Thanks you all. Reading back I'm thinking "my kids seem to be right brats!"
lol

But they're not really. They do realize money is in short supply and they are not as bad as many kids out there. But they do see that their friends have 'more stuff' than they do. And they do want it as well.

We do get a few hand-me-downs but not all that much. What we get given is always greatly appreciated. Kids have no problems accepting second hand clothes.

I guess it's more in the ways of: mobile phones, credit on those phones, having two pairs of shoes instead of 10.. having one winter coat, and a steady stream of goodies to eat whenever they fancy.

We are by no means afraid of saying NO to them. I say that quite a lot actually. It's just that they do see what's out there and they do want to fit in.

Come January things are going to get even tougher as two girls need braces for their teeth and we have to upgrade our health insurance to get them to cover most of those costs. That's another chunk out of our monthly income.

Pfff I'm just having a bit of a moan I guess.. after seeing DD3 (10) pour herself a glass of Ribena (well the dutch equiv.) with pure Ribena almost half way up the glass before she added a tiny bit of water...
The sugar blast is enough to knock the enamel clear off your teeth!..
I asked her why she did that.. didn't we just a few days ago discuss our financial state and asked the kids to be little bit more watchful of waste and stuff?...
She shrugged and said: "But this is just how I like it!."

After which she took two or three gulps, decided she'd had enough and tipped the rest of it down the sink!

:mad: :mad: :mad:

That's what gets me!. We talk to them. Explain things, they seem to understand and agree. Yet when I"m out of the room, they just go back to whatever it is they want. They just don't think about it. Don't see the harm in a lot of things. "It's just Ribena..."

Okay.
Deep breath.

moan over. thanks for listening.

Beccatje

THose paper pressed logs... is that easy going or hard work?

Someone offered me a press, but I'm not sure if it's worth the while.
So any advise on those things is greatly appreciated.

Thanks

Becca

mardatha

Beccate, dilute the Ribena in the bottle lightly before they get it !

Charis

Beccatje wrote: »

THose paper pressed logs... is that easy going or hard work?

Someone offered me a press, but I'm not sure if it's worth the while.
So any advise on those things is greatly appreciated.

Thanks

Becca

I was with a friend at a 'green fair' recently where they were selling the log presses. My friend told the stall holder that she used to have one and he asked her if they were any good as he doesn't have an open fire. She said they were all right but they don't burn for very long at all. OK for kindling but not for real heat.