If things get tougher?

mary43

Where Mum was the stern one in the family, Dad was an old softie really but he always made us sit at the table and not leave till we'd eaten every bit (and the meat wasn't always up to much just after the war) It was the one thing he did that used to really annoy me -when I mentioned it too him years later he explained that during the war he'd seen so many children literally starving -(he used to give them some of his rations when he could) that to come home and see me and my brother pushing food around the plate really made him angry. He must have seen some dreadful things and who knows the effect it left him with. It wasn''t something he talked about. They both went through so much...........
Dad was frugal in many ways -never went to the tip without bringing something back that 'might be useful' he said but he did love to have a bit of a spend, albeit on charity shop £1 rails............the amount of clothes we shifted after he died was unbelievable. Wouldn't part with anything that had a bit of wear left in it, but would trot down to the Sally Army shop and get more................lol Mum used to grin and bear it -she wouldn''t even have a bit of a fling at the charity shops unless she needed something.
He did get her round later though and they used to go out three times a week for a pub lunch. He was very much of the opinion that he'd earnt his money, got his pension and intended to enjoy it. As a result he had nothing when he died, no savings or anything like that. Mum on the other hand, hated to spend and now she has bank accounts with money in that sadly she can't enjoy.
I'm more like my Dad, always have been..............I know where to cut corners but always think it does you good to have a treat.........and I love it if I can find a bag full of stuff from the charity shop for under a fiver.

The_Sparkly_One

It's strange, I'm only 25 so don't really know I'm born as my great-grandmother always used to tell me but even I can see that the bubble I've been living in is going to well and truly burst. I've been a bit frivolous, racked up more student debt than I care to think about at the moment, but I'm dealing with it.
Reading all your stories about your mothers and grandmothers reminded me of the stories my grandmother tells me about her mother. She used to be at the pawn shop every Monday with her husbands best suit to get money to pay the coal man, or the rent or whatever, during the week she'd scrape the rest of the money from somewhere else and be able to send one of the 9 kids back to the pawn shop on Friday to get the suit back before her husband realised it was missing. There's loads of little things she tells me, in all honesty I couldn't imagine living like that, but she did and she wasn't alone. I think that's why later on in her life, when she did actually have a bit of money she'd constantly be treating herself, her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. She loved going on holiday too, she was never back from one holiday before planning the next. Ok, now I'm rambling, but even when things were really bad, even when she had absolutley no money, she did keep a smile on her face and did spend time with all the kids. She really held it all together, I'm just wondering if I'll be that strong when my bubble bursts?

Charis

The_Sparkly_One wrote: »

I'm rambling, but even when things were really bad, even when she had absolutley no money, she did keep a smile on her face and did spend time with all the kids. She really held it all together, I'm just wondering if I'll be that strong when my bubble bursts?

You will, because you have the right attitude and you are aware of what is going on around you. Two of the most important survival skills.

maryb

Often you don't realise how your parents' experiences still influence you until many years later. Silly example - I was born nine years after the war ended and they still had rationing (although it ended before I was weaned). I was never taught to cook by my mother because she would not risk me making mistakes and wasting anything and to this day I still think of eggs and lemons as extravagant ingredients, albeit not consciously.

Thank heavens for Delia - she taught me to cook in the 1970s

[Deleted User]

oh you took me back maryb when you said about eggs and lemons. I did the family cakes at 11 and had to find recipes to get cakes that used one or no eggs and cost halfpennies. Things being hard were just a fact of life, one pigs head to last 3 days for 9, washing soaking in a bath of cold water, bags of clothes given to us by well meaning neighbours, me feeling a lump in my heart when I had to call at a house and their two children were snug and warm in dressing gowns in front of a roaring fire. I think I was envious. No tv but the old lady opposite had one and she would put rows of seats in her living room and let us children watch sometimes. So many kind people about and helping each other along.

It is easy to forget but our backgrounds made us what we are but we add the emotion. My mum was hard and there were no cuddles after toddler age but I am warm and cuddly because I was determined not to be the same woman as my mum

What is frightening now is the thought of us having to go through that again. No way, never again

Pitlanepiglet

kittie wrote: »

What is frightening now is the thought of us having to go through that again. No way, never again

I don't think it's even comparable though, in most cases we have nice warm "one family" houses, heating them might be pricey but at least we have them and we're not reliant on dishonest landlords letting derelict houses to multiple families. Most of us are typing on laptops and computers that cost more than a housewife in say the 30's and 40's would have spent in a year or more.

We don't routinely lose children in infancy or mothers in childbirth and, whilst they are not perfect, we have a National Health Service and a Welfare Service rather than a Workhouse. We are not sending all the young (and not so young) men in our families off to war (conscription) leaving mothers with young families to cope alone.

Our Grandmothers and Great Grandmothers and further back (and Mothers in some cases) put up with conditions that we can only have nightmares about, what we are seeing now is nothing like it.

Let's relish the challenge of coping against the adversity that we now find ourselves facing, but still recognise that it's our Grandma's and Great Grandma's that really knew adversity.

savingpennies

My mum is one of ten, 9 girls 1 boy (sadly three of the girls are now dead - God rest their souls). The youngest of these is only a few years older than me. Their dad joined up at the beginning of the war but he was never the same after - always drunk and out of work. My mum remembers clearly the things Nana used to do - going to jumble sales to buy winter coats and then using them to make kilts for the girls, sending the girls to the market on Saturday night to collect all the fruit and veg the stall holders were throwing away and learning how to skin a rabbit and cook it. If we go to Fleetwood, she points out towards Knott End to tell us her clog is out there - she went cockling with her dad (he sold them on the market from a wheelbarrow at one stage) and got stuck in the sand and left her clog there. Her mum was furious as those clogs would have been passed down to her younger sisters after she had finished with them.
My own childhood was better, but all my school photos show me in clothes that were bought at the jumble sale and in hand knitted cardies. I remember when my mother ran out of money and I was sent to get money from Nana and call at the shop on the way back to buy a loaf of bread and potatoes for our tea.
I used to love jumble sales, they seem to have disappeared now replaced by Charity shops which seem to sell second hand stuff for much higher prices, even taking into account inflation.
My own children have never had to experience any of this, thank God, but it doesn't do them any harm to listen to my mum. She laughs when she recounts her memories of the time, she recalls much of it as happy. We don't want a return to those days, and hopefully no-one ever will, but we could learn a lesson from how they managed to live on less.

mary43

Seems like we've all had similar experiences or backgrounds one way or another. I used to really get excited when a parcel arrived from my aunt in Birmingham, full of dresses her daughter had grown out of but were just my size. Shopping for clothes was a twice a year event...........spring outfit and winter coat !
When I fell on really hard times myself and my kids were young I tried to turn it into a bit of an adventure...........gathering fallen branches from the local wood and finding a 'hiding place' where we'd sneak up just when it was getting dark and take them home -and they loved the idea of 'something for nothing' (or next to nothing) and learnt very quickly how someone elses rubbish is another's treasure. Quick coat of paint could tranform and personalise a piece of furniture for their bedrooms and they still do that even though they're grown up now. My Mum got through the wartime years, I got through the power strikes, bread strikes, of the 60's and 70's and I like to think my kids would be able to cope if that happened again..

mummysaver

Wow, these stories are amazing! It really makes you think about how people really do moan about nothing now, well I know I certainly do!

As children, me and my cousins all used to be sent to our nan and grandad's house at weekends and holidays, I have 14 cousins close in age, so those are the one's I spent most of the time with, we must have been quite a fearsome tribe really lol! My grandad grew all the veg, we could all skin rabbits and pluck pheasants and chickens, jumble sales were a normal family trip and having everything passed down was expected. Presents were second hand or home made. Everything was cooked from scratch. We played endless games in the garden, and board or card games in the evenings. If we were naughty we really knew about it! We all were expected to help with chores.

There are so many memories and we had a fantastic time, but looking back there really was no money and we were actually quite poor, not starving or on the breadline, but there were no luxuries at all! Though when we got older I can remember Mr Kiplings French Fancies and battenburg cake - both of which I hated, but then being brough up on hm cakes that might not be very surprising!

So many of the things that I did as a child I have introduced my children to, certainly the simple tasks that involve running a house and cooking, but also the reusing things and not being a snob about anything given to you or buying second hand. They are always amazed that not everyone can do the things they can, perhaps this explains the constant cookery sessions to teach dd2 and dd3's friends how to make things! Even things like recognising veg and shucking peas seem strange to so many kids now!

Well I hope that things never get as bad as they have been in the past, and that people never have to learn the hard lessons that many did, and it really makes you thankful that we all have the many things that we do now, and a welfare state and national health service.

[Deleted User]

How to explain what I feel: mmm

Although families were poor, we were rich in other things and particularly in companionship and in sharing. My siblings and I were so neatly turned out on sundays, all in lovely hm clothes and we played out a lot and it was magic when we discovered the library. It wasn`t all doom and gloom

I do think that times will become equally hard for those on the edge who don`t manage their money but they will feel isolated compared to past times and so will feel depressed, whereas I don`t remember there being time for our parents to get depressed. We`ll be fine on this thread because we have developed an os community and we`ll help each other

Does anyone remember the knitted swimming costumes that sank to the knees when they got wet? :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: