Retraining my hubby

LittleMissAspie

Girlzmum wrote: »

We said the same thing about splitting the chores, I cook, he washes (never the other way round!) I sort out washing, hang it and he folds and puts away etc. Only problem is that he seems totally incapable of doing all the dishes and he constantly misses stuff/leaves it to soak so I wait and wait and then lose the head and storm into the kitchen and do it all with him telling me he was going to do it (funny how I always manage to lose my temper about 5 minutes before he was going to start them) We fall out, he apologises and starts doing them again. This lasts about 2 months and then things slide. We've been living together for 9 years and it has never changed. :mad:

Oh dear, don't say that. Me and my boyfriend have the same cycle where he never notices that something needs to be done until it can't wait any longer. Eg won't do laundry until he has nothing to wear. Won't hoover until carpet looks like it was made from cat hair. Won't take out recycling until there's no room left on the worktop. Won't pay the council tax until he gets a MISSED PAYMENT letter. Which leaves me to do everything because I can't wait that long! We fall out massively and he starts doing things for a while, then slips back again.

looby-loo_2

I'm out of the house 7.45 til 6.15 week days and DH is retired. I don't know what he does all day. No housework, no DIY.

debtfreein4years

ive given up and do it all myself, the worst part is we've only been living together a year. oh works away 3 months and then 2 months back at home, so when hes away i have to do everything myself and when he's away he has someone doing it all for him. when hes back, the only thing he thinks of doing is drying dishes as he cant bear to see them on the draining board drip drying. ive asked him to do a load of washing before, and have had to talk him through how to use the washing machine when ive been at work. its easier for me to do it as when he does hang out the wet washing, he just hangs it the way it comes out the washing machine so that things dont dry properly and get even more creases. i iron everything as i dont like wearing un-ironed clothes as it think it looks sloppy, hes happy to go out in un-ironed trousers and a wrinkled shirt

know im not going to change him and dont mind so much, but when we do get round to having kids he will be helping more and wont have a choice about it

Reggie_Rebel

You want it done a certain way and by a certain time. Do it yourself.

Ask us to do it and we will do it, but in our own way and in our own time.

Claire3121

Reggie_Rebel wrote: »

You want it done a certain way and by a certain time. Do it yourself.

Ask us to do it and we will do it, but in our own way and in our own time.

And what if we had the option of doing things when WE felt like it....stuff would never get done. Most of the time we dont feel like doing things.....oh I get it,we're wimmin and we LOVE washing,ironing and cleaning toilets:rolleyes:

princess_loki

Claire3121 wrote: »

oh I get it,we're wimmin and we LOVE washing,ironing and cleaning toilets:rolleyes:

and the thing is it is not us that make the most mess of the toilet, leave bits of beard in the sink, use a different cup every time - why do we bother???

when i lived in an all girl house our bathroom smelt lovely and the worktops were always wiped, the others would hang your washing out if you forgot it and we took our shoes off in the house!!!

what a difference it is living with men :mad: . and i have two - oh and lodger!! must be crazy.

p.s. cat has just been out digging and coffee table and sofa are now covered in mud :mad:

3onitsway

ldavies wrote: »

aww im really lucky... my OH does all the cooking mon - fri and does the ironing on a sun evening... boys do the hoovering daily and load and unload the dishwasher and I do the rest ie change beds, washing drying, online grocery shopping, manage finances etc

It works for us now but to be honest, it wasnt always like that to the extent that i went on strike for 2 weeks... with 2 young boys and OH it wasnt easy but it had to be done and we have never looked back!

Hopefully you will have two boys, who will be well trained for the lucky ladies in their future lives! .

I totally blame the mothers of these men - OH's mum treated (still does) him like a pampered little prince!! His two brothers are still at home and probably will be forever - they're not daft!! And his dad doesn't lift a finger - EVER!!
It wouldn't be so bad, but she works full time too.

Spicey

He wont change overnight. I been married to my DH for over 25years. At first he did nothing but now if I cook he washes up. He can load the washing machine and use the vaccum. He doesnt know about polish or ironing or cleaning bathrooms. He learnt to cook when I was in hospital, so its def a case of if needs be he can do. Trying to change them just is not worth the agro.

mum26

Topdogfran wrote: »

Men, dogs, kids, they all respond to being rewarded for doing the things you want them to do..........

seriously considering the crate technique...

geekgirl

Stop doing the washing for them. If they want clean clothes then they can wash them. It isn't complicated to use a washing machine most teenagers and men can use a playstation etc... so they will be able to use a washing machine.
Just let him know that from now on he will have to do it himself so that it gives him the opportunity to find out how to use the machine and to get on the case before all his clean stuff has run out.