Buffy's 18 week credit card free challenge

spud30

pepe2008 wrote: »

Doh! Arrived a bit late here..........me chocolates melting:D

Oh no, did you have trouble parking the truck outside Buffy's :rolleyes:

Buffythedebtslayer

:rotfl::rotfl: thanks guys ! I was a good girl and had cocoa, although tonight there is a jar of Nutella with my name on it. and a packet of rich tea.

I had a nice day till I came home(out with friends allday). Mum is going through a miserable phase. and so I am not allowed to be happy. She has really upset me tonight. tbh I feel like a bit of a failure and to top it all I think I have a migraine brewing pain all down the side of my face and head and my eyes are burning.

I am going to take some headache pills and keep drinking water. and read chat.

as Scarlet O' Hara said Tomorrow is another day.

xxxx

beanielou

Huggles Buffy hun xxx

Shoe_Gal

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl: thanks guys ! I was a good girl and had cocoa, although tonight there is a jar of Nutella with my name on it. and a packet of rich tea.

Oh Buffy - Nutella is my favourite - I don't trust myself with it in the house

.

as Scarlet O' Hara said Tomorrow is another day.

xxxx

Am tempted to say - 'and frankly my dear, I don't give a damn' :rolleyes:

Don't let other people bring your mood down, you deserve some happiness whilst you're not at school - enjoy

Take care
SG x

Buffythedebtslayer

People do get through things right? I mean there are people here who lose their jobs and get in to loads of debt and get through it?

I feel as though I am in some kind of trench. I just keep walking up and down doing

Shoe_Gal

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

People do get through things right? I mean there are people here who lose their jobs and get in to loads of debt and get through it?

I feel as though I am in some kind of trench. I just keep walking up and down doing

Buffy - yes, yes, yes! People get through things. Sometimes bad things happen to good people - but you will get through it :A

Buffythedebtslayer

People do get through things right? I mean there are people here who lose their jobs and get in to loads of debt and get through it?

I feel as though I am in some kind of trench. I just keep walking up and down doing the same thing and not getting any where.

I have failed at work even if they are wrong and I disagree with them it is still something else I have to handle. to fix and I just have so little energy.

I know I need to change some thing? everything? cos that whole definition of madness is to do something over and over again expecting different results. I keep going to work expecting it to be nice, for them to be nice and its clearly not going to happen. I no longer work in a kind place, there is no community or solidarity. I need to clear my record and get out of there.

At times like this I do wish I could go back to pre MSE days when to be honest I would have taken out a 10 grand loan and quit my job to work on suppply. Now the debt and the fear weigh heavily on me.

Haven't got anything else to write tonight. Its in the holidays when life stops rushing at me that I stop and reconsider.

xxxx

beanielou

^^^What shoegal says too

sarahb123_3

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

People do get through things right?

Right. And you will too. There is nothing to be worried about, try to think of this as the perfect opportunity for you. I am sure you will get enough supply work to get by, plus the tutoring, ebaying and Avon. You will have lots of sources of income. Your debts will come steadily down. You will have more free time and you won't have that dread feeling associated with school. You will be able to enjoy life without worrying about marking, assessments etc. Your time will be your own. You will be able to relax and do the things you want to do. It is going to be fab. :j

Buffythedebtslayer

It doesn't feel like I will today. I don't mean I am about to top myself or anything! I just can't. I don't succeed at anything, I tried filling my life up with loads of stuff to do and all of it screwed up. OU, job, money, Avon,

so then I stopped a few things, didn't replace my pets, no OU, limited Avon. I tried at work but I am always tired. Stuck in a routine with Mum (who is great and I think feels similarly to me after a chat we had today) but I don't seem able to change anything. I thought being on holiday would mean I could relax but I feel wrecked, my heads killing me I am exhausted and I lie awake every night worrying.

I feel as though I need to cry till I can't cry anymore but I equally I feel that I haven't the energy. I could go to bed right now. but then I only wake up feeling tired and miserable. arrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

I honestly was just hanging on for the holidays I thought I would feel better and I am so suprised I don't! Sorry if this sounds silly. I feel I am a big bag of self pity today. I just sick of having to fight for everything.