MSE Pregnancy Club V

Sami_Bee

elle_gee wrote: »

My mum's just txt me to tell me to get on MSN.. She wanted to talk about the thing on BBC Breakfast this morning about nurseries being better for little ones than being looked after by grandparents. Had got her all worried - worried that I was going to change my mind and put my little one in nursery rather than Mum looking after him/her as currently planned and that she would miss out, I think!

Bless her, she's just said that she'll take baby to Parent & Child type places and then playschools. She said "you tell me where you want them to go and I'll take them - I don't want to hold them back!". How ace is my mum?!

on a personal note I think under 4's are best at home/with family provided they are with someone who cares about their education and takes them to groups and out an about etc. I will only send Chris to pre-school/nursery for his free hours when he gets them and not before. i think he's best here with me, I spend time throughout the day talking to him, showing him things and teaching him without him even realising it :cool:
I'm not saying anyone is wrong for using a nursery just I don't like them myself

elle_gee

Sami_Bee wrote: »

..I'm not saying anyone is wrong for using a nursery..

I agree My LO will go to my mum cos it's free, plus my mum has got first-time-granny syndrome going on, big time! My mum stayed at home from when I was born, then had my sister and worked the 7-11 shift in Asda from when we were about 3 and 4. We still went to grandma and grandad's house almost every weekend to give mum and dad a break from us

I do appreciate how lucky I am to have my family around me. I see how some women at work struggle with relying on paid for help, having to dash off to get there before nursery closing time.. Not to mention the cost! There's a Montissori (sp?) school in a nearby village which is £800 a month! :eek:

Sami_Bee

elle_gee wrote: »

I agree My LO will go to my mum cos it's free, plus my mum has got first-time-granny syndrome going on, big time! My mum stayed at home from when I was born, then had my sister and worked the 7-11 shift in Asda from when we were about 3 and 4. We still went to grandma and grandad's house almost every weekend to give mum and dad a break from us

I do appreciate how lucky I am to have my family around me. I see how some women at work struggle with relying on paid for help, having to dash off to get there before nursery closing time.. Not to mention the cost! There's a Montissori (sp?) school in a nearby village which is £800 a month! :eek:

I was definitely influenced by my mum She was a SATM until I was about 3, worked as a cleaner in the evenings once dad was home and then when we were both at school we went to the one she worked in so I was never really away from her Dad has always worked in manual type stuff so finished early, he used to get a lift in the morning and we would pick him up on the way home from school.
in high school I never understood why some of my friends had to go home to an empty house and wait until about 6 for their parents to come, at that time we'd already caught up on dad's day, had our tea and been playing out for half an hour:D I want that for my babies too hence me not considering ever going back to work full time.

elle_gee

Don't know if I've actually said, but my intention is to go back to work 2/3 days a week on a job share basis. Obviously I don't know how I'll feel as a mum but right now I feel that I'll want the adult conversation and some other kind of purpose too.

I'm fortunate that I earn about double NMW per hour, so I can go back to my job on half the hours I do now and earn what I used to when I did my previous job (the one before this one) full time IYSWIM so it makes sense to go back to this job rather than look for another one. Plus we need the money to live on whilst OH is still paying his debts off - maybe I could give up work altogether in about five years and then have another baby

elle_gee

Right, enough rambling from me.. Time for bed, methinks!

Hopefully I'm in for an easier day at work tomorrow - I'm on my own from lunchtime so that will be very nice. Even looking forward to my lunch, pasta bolgnaise, already!

Going to revert to kiddihood and have milk and cookies as a bedtime snack!

Night night xx

Sami_Bee

I didn't think I would ever give up work completely and I do miss adult conversation but as you say you don't kno until ur a mummy :cool:
Nighty night I'm off to bed too x

elle_gee

OH has done his cup of tea in the living room trick again so I've been having a proper read through as I only scan read earlier whilst in a strop! I took notes this time..

tara - hope your scan goes well tomorrow and baby is a show off!
HypnoNu - hope your scan goes well tomorrow too.. gorgeous wedding pics, btw!
Millie's Mum - what did the consultant say about your poss c-section?
jacksons mum - did you get the chance to tell your OH tonight?
sampainter - labour vibes directed your way!

And thanks to everyone who looked for the Malteser ad for me!

Night night xx

ChasingButterflies

feelinggood - hun I have tried pm'ing you but I don't think anything is happening (it is not showing in my sent box )

I have posted my experience (although I find it hard to balance enough info/excess info I hope it is ok)

Have a fab time shopping - and sorry it is so late I fell asleep after the kids went down and didn't wake up until 1

*off to catch up properly*

molly - hope you are feeling better in the am.

everyone who had a pants day - I hope today is much better for you!

ChasingButterflies

It is probably easier if I explain the issues that I had and the underlying cause because otherwise it might not all make sense iykmim... most of this relates to a greater extent to my first pregnancy.
I unexpectedly found myself pg at 19 at the time I was still dealing with the psychological fall-out from being abused until just before I was 14.
My problems were pretty standard: depression, very low self esteem, fear of leaving the home that dh and I lived in (I just didn't on my own unless I had no other choice), nightmares, flash backs, panic attacks and insomnia. I spent most of my pregnancy in fear that if I had a girl and how would I keep her safe? and if I had a boy how could I make sure he didn’t hurt anyone?
I asked the more approachable mw if she could come out and see me to write my birth plan at home. She did and I ended up explaining everything that had happened to me so that she could understand the fears that I had.
There must have been some special mw code (although not one I could see from reading the notes iykwim) She managed to express things in the notes to cover everything that was worrying me. The thing that she really stressed to me was that my birth plan was just that and sometimes as much as you plan things sometimes things don't work the way you want them to so.
I really want to emphasise that before the mw in the delivery room did anything at all they explained to me exactly what was happening and why. The birth was quite long, didn’t go exactly as I wanted and there was a worrying time where bubs was in distress, labour stopped progressing and it looked like medical intervention might be on the cards. To their credit they monitored me, kept me informed and we came to the conclusion that it was safe for things to continue naturally. Eventually dd arrived safe and well. (I had a slight tear but not bad enough to need to be stitched – although I was given the option) DH and I were given some time alone in the delivery room with dd. I had wanted to leave straight away but because things weren't as smooth as they could have been (and I was exhausted) I agreed to go upstairs.

The mw when writing my birth plan had warned me that if I ended up having to stay in that in all likely hood unless I needed a c-section I probably wouldn't get a room on my own. However in the end I wasn't put on a ward - I had a shared room with another lady. For the first 24hrs dd1 slept :rolleyes:which meant she hadn’t fed properly and we had to stay in for a full night.

tbh although I ended up being in hospital for longer than I had wanted the time passed really quickly (which seems strange because all I really did was watch this tiny bundle in amazement and awe)
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To help you feel in control I would suggest that you research everything so that you can prepare yourself for whatever comes your way. Speak to your mw and if you don't feel confident that she is listening to you keep on speaking to them until you find one that does. Make sure that your birth partner knows your views on everything (off by heart [/FONT][FONT=&quot];)[/FONT][FONT=&quot]) This bit is going to sound really new age but bear with me... try some relaxation techniques - deep breathing exercises, when something was happening that was a necessary evil (i.e. internal) I took myself off and imagined I was somewhere else - calm. Think green grass, warm sunshine, babbling stream, sitting under the shade of a tree, be there. I hope that makes sense and doesn't make me seem utterly loopy [/FONT][FONT=&quot]:o[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

Apologies for the length I have condensed as much as I think I can.
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MrsTinks

Morning all... been up since before 5am as MIL and her hubby were off to the airport - DH driving them poor luv Then he'll be heading off to the opposite side of the M25 for work - some days I really feel for him bless!
I'm working from home because apparently it's ok to work from home when I have a doctors appointment that day... go figure...
Don't feel like doing ANYTHING for work right now after yesterdays moaning about my working from home but I guess I ought to Bah!
Still feel totally down about them being so up tight about me working from home (bear in mind that everyone does it, my manager more so than anyone, yet I am the only one being told to be in the office more because HR are obviously aware of my exsistence due to being pregnant...) when there is no need for my presence in the office. Everyone knows I can be in the office in 30-60 mins depending on which office I'm needed in. My hips are still agony (how do you ladies have more than one child!!!!!!) and feel like they are getting worse. Being sat in the car over 2 hours yesterday and in the office all day was... excrutiating. The pain was all the way from the hip joint to half way down my thighs and really bad. My manager has MS so has some sympathy, unfortunately the difference is she can take painkillers I can't! (Not btw saying mine are worse than hers! I doubt it is, just that it's different and although hers might be bad, at least she can take something for it, I can't - then again I know that mine will go when baby arrives but that is 3 months away so 3 months of increasing pain with no relief...)
Then I got a call at 7 last night from work on my home phone saying that I might not have to go on my 365 mile round trip thursday, but prepare for going in case I DO have to go... thanks... I needed to be dragged out of my bath to be told that. Oh and another thing during the day I got told off for pointing out to one of the acc managers that driving to the other side of London at 30 weeks in rush hour was not on my list of "things I want to do whilst pregnant" and certainly not for a client who is complaining but can't back up their complaints and are generally rude AND that is supposed to be phone managed only... *sigh* rant over...

I am just so fed up and on the verge of bursting into tears all the time and it's not like me... I usually get angry and then I go sort it! Getting upset and taking it home with me isn't like me. Even hubby is worried about how much I stressed yesterday bless him!