young teenage son to become a dad - advice pls

affordmylife

i just wanted to say. congratulations on raising a son who is mature and wonderful enough to stand by his girlfriend. and of course congratulations on the baby too.

my step daughter (19) has just been told by her boyfriend to get rid of the baby she is carrying or lose him. thank goodness you and yours are not in this position.

i have a feeling your son and girlfriend will work this out somehow even if ultimately they dont end up together forever. im sure they will both be great parents and you and her parents will be involved grandparents.

best wishes to you all xx

Outnumberedbysmallpeople

I say you should send a card or something similar offering your support and congratulations.

My husband and I were 17 & 18 when we were pregnant with our eldest, we'd only been together a matter of weeks and nearly 13 years later we're happily married with 4 children, we grew together as we grew up together. However peoples reaction back then had a big impact on us, the negative reactions stay with you. Dh's father told us catagorically not to have the baby as it couldn't work - DH is now estranged from his father, it really did darken alot of our early memories with our eldest child knowing people couldn't be happy for us even though the only thing that made us different as parents was our age

Support them, let them know you are willing to fight their corner- it will matter alot in the next couple of years. The world is stacked heavily against younger parents and support of family can mean a world of difference. My parents gave us their full support emotionally and the relationship they have with my children is truly a beautiful one, very close. My parents love being younger grandparents (they have a grandad who can climb trees with them and rode the rollercoasters at Disney with them). My mother in law was also a teenage mother and there have been times raising my children where I've only felt able to talk to her because she's walked the same path, I am sure you can be that person for your sons girlfriend too.

Good luck to you all.

skipkoo

cobbingstones wrote: »

Thanks Skipkoo - Congratulations to you!

I'm very worried that the relationship won't last (sorry to be negative) and I'll lose a grandchild. The thought kills me. I was just thinking that my youngest is going to be a very young uncle at 3 !!!

Ahh cobbingstones, I feel exactly the same. My son is my youngest child and even though I am older than you I still dont feel old enough to be a grandma!! :eek: I can hardly think about what will happen if the relationship breaks up, they have so many battles ahead of them at such a young age and their relationship is so new that I hope it is strong enough for them. PM me any time
S

skipkoo

Outnumberedbysmallpeople, how lovely to hear your story, thank you for sharing it with us. It has made me feel happier and I hope will do the same for cobbingstones. My very best wishes to your family.
S

Triggles

As long as you are supportive and not judgemental, there is a good possibility that even if they don't stay together, you will be in contact. After all, your son is still the baby's father. We remained in contact with our DIL when she and DS split temporarily and maintained a very good relationship with her and saw our grandson throughout their split. It also was good because when they eventually got back together, there were no bad feelings all around.

foreversomeday

I was 19 when I got pregnant with my son (20 when he was born) - he also has a 3 year old auntie! She loves him very much but insists that she isn't an auntie, she is a cousin!

If the relationship was to end with my DF (I hope not, but you can never say never) I'd still want DS to have contact with his grandparents on BOTH sides, especially if they had been supportive to me.

Obviously I can't speak for this girl but hopefully she will want the same thing for her child whether the relationship lasts or not.

Congratulations!

foxxymynx

Let them both know that you support them and are happy for them

Paparika

Congrats on the good news,

But i have a niggle in my mind just like i would if my DS came home and told me that his gf of a matter of weeks is preggers..... (he isnt he's 13) Is it his?

cobbingstones

Jeeeze Paparika that's something I can only assume and hope for. As long as ds thinks the babe is his then that's cool.

SarahFx

Paparika wrote: »

Congrats on the good news,

But i have a niggle in my mind just like i would if my DS came home and told me that his gf of a matter of weeks is preggers..... (he isnt he's 13) Is it his?

Sorry to be negative but this would worry me too. My brother's girlfriend of a few weeks announced she was pregnant when she was 16 and he 19. I later overheard her on the phone to a friend saying she was a lot further on. My brother confronted her and she admitted it wasn't his but thought he would make a better father.

Hope it all works out for you though.