young teenage son to become a dad - advice pls

cobbingstones

I have just found out today that my 19 yr old son is to become a father. He is happy about the news and thinks his gf is either 4/5 weeks pregnant. They have just met. She has told her parents and together they have decided to go ahead with the pregnancy.

Now the issue is I really want to go to where they are living (about 60 miles away) to meet her. She is going to be the mother of my grandchild and I want her to feel she has my support. I too was 19 when I had my first, so I hope I can draw on that experience and help them both. However, my dh thinks that I need to wait a while and not just rush in.

What do you think?

DrFluffy

19... young??? I thought you were going to say 14!!!

Ask your son what he thinks, and proceede as per their wishes. I'm sure she would be glad of the help, but remember it is their child not yours...

Congratulations!

BernadetteN

Wait, send your best wishes, let it sink in for her for a few weeks, then go later to offer help.

feelinggood_2

Perhaps a card with a note saying what you've said here would be an idea? I'd check with your son first though, this is bound to be a bit scary for him! What reason does DH have for thinking you should wait?

skylight

I too would call or send a card, offering help and telling them how excited you are. If not, they may assume that you are not happy/interested which could cause issues all of its own later along the line.

And congratulations, Grandma!

Rachel85

Congratulations!

I agree with the other posters - perhaps send a card (maybe even some flowers too - getting off to a good start with your (kind of) daugher-in-law would be worth the investment of the flowers if you ask me) saying that you're delighted for them and you are available to support them in any way they can. You could draw on your own experience, too. Then perhaps in the card say you'd love to meet her properly and perhaps they could contact you to arrange a time for you to go over, at their convenience?

cobbingstones

Gosh this grandma bit is weird.........I'm only 39

Marcheline

Hi OP, if I were you I'd ring your son asap and tell him that you would like to visit him and his girlfriend and offer them your support etc. Tell them how excited you are and that you don't want to interfere, just that you'd really like to meet her. The last thing you need is for them to think you're not interested in them/the baby! If they want some time before you all meet, then they'll tell you so. It will prob be easier for his girlfriend to meet you on her 'home turf' for the first time, rather than coming to yours. They might be waiting for your call to see your reaction. I remember I was terrified about meeting my boyfriend's parents after announcing my pregnancy (I was 21) and I went to their house to meet them. It would have prob been less nerve wracking had they came to my house and expressed their excitement about the baby.

annie_d

My husband was 19 when our youngest was born. We are divorced now but we were maried for 18 years and he was a great dad and provider.

richardw

BernadetteN wrote: »

Wait, send your best wishes, let it sink in for her for a few weeks, then go later to offer help.

mmm agree with this.

cobbingstones

Already spoken to son and told him of my joy.

Thank you all so much for your comments xx