young teenage son to become a dad - advice pls

lolababy

Just think you will be a young trendy nan !. Congratulations.

starbump

Agree with your DH. By all means, tell your son and/or your son's girlfriend that you are ready, willing and able to provide as much or as little support as she would like - and then step back and see how it goes. Don't get too upset or offended if she actually draws most of her support from her own mom - it's only natural for girls to want their own moms around.

forumfan_2

Perhaps you could send some flowers with a 'Congratulations' note to start with and then arrange a visit after they have had a bit more time for everything to sink in.

Congratulations to you too!

pink_princess

:t Congratulations :t

ailuro2

invite them round to yours, rather than going to theirs, they probably don't have much in their home yet, and she might be more comfortable not showing it off just yet...or think you're a bit nosey!!

When the time is nearer you can offer to help decorate.

19 is young, but no younger than you were.:beer:

longtimelurker_2

As she's only a few weeks pregnant, I'd wait before sending bunches of flowers etc. and think your DH is right to say not to rush things. For one thing, there's plenty of time before the baby arrives. Your son may have told you so early as he's young, whereas if he was older they may well have waited till later on in the pregnancy before announcing it.

Oldernotwiser

I wouldn't get too attached to the idea of having a grandchild just yet. Such a short relationship may well not last and although your son would still have financial responsibilities, you could find yourself mourning for a grandchild you never really had. I'd backpedal a bit.

skipkoo

Hi Cobbingstones
Well, the same thing happened to me, just before christmas! My son is 18.5 and she is just 18. They have been together since the end of August, so not very long. She is now about 13 weeks pregnant. Son still lives here with us and she lives in a small town about 10 miles away but as she has been having problems with an ex she seems to be spening lots of time here! My son works hard and long hours but in a low paid job and she does not seem to work (??) Anyway they are talking about getting a place of their own, renting a private house. They have been to the local housing authority and have some forms to fill out. I am giving the support that I can BUT she is not my daughter, if she was I would be saying a few more things! I myself was very young, and sadly left on my own, with my first child and it was VERY hard work. They know that we will be there for them both with support and love BUT a big part of me cant help but be worried as they really are no more than babes themselves. Scary times but hopefully a happy end result!
S

cobbingstones

Thanks Skipkoo - Congratulations to you!

I'm very worried that the relationship won't last (sorry to be negative) and I'll lose a grandchild. The thought kills me. I was just thinking that my youngest is going to be a very young uncle at 3 !!!

Oldernotwiser

cobbingstones wrote: »

Thanks Skipkoo - Congratulations to you!

I'm very worried that the relationship won't last (sorry to be negative) and I'll lose a grandchild. The thought kills me. I was just thinking that my youngest is going to be a very young uncle at 3 !!!

That's why it would be an idea to back off a bit. Lots of young men sow wild oats, unfortunately, and their parents don't know about the results and don't, therefore, feel they've lost anything. It's probably better that way.