What a mess, split up with husband and house problems

Glad

black-saturn wrote:

And I will also PM you my site which I am not allowed to advertise on here

the MSE team have decided that your site is one that can't be posted on here as it is against MSE rules, I'm sure if you email them and ask they can expand on the explanation I have already given you

Prudent

Lone parents, whose partners have left or dies, do not have to wait the standard 39 weeks befor getting help with their mortgage.

black-saturn

OK, I have already done that and their explanantion is that it contains a link to Google. I'm afraid I built the site on free webspace and these adverts are all part and parcel of the free webspace. The content of the actual subject matter of the site is not offensive in any way. It seems wierd that I cant put a link up which might help someone on this site suffering from domestic abuse just because there is a link to Google on it (just a search engine). Yet it seems OK to post links to money making sites with other adverts on it such as play.com or CDWow or love movie But I will abide by your rules and in future I will PM it to anyone that needs it.

Spendless

mspig wrote:

Firstly the income support will only pay the interest on your property which you can not get until you have been on benefits for 40 weeks.

The rules for this depend on when the mortgage was taken out. There are different rules if the mortgage was taken out prior to Oct 1995 (though check dates). There are also different rules for being 'abandoned' though I've no idea how the DSS decides who is and who isn't abandoned.

OP- Are your 2 eldest at school? You may be better off finding work for 16 hours or more and getting help via tax credits for childcare and to top up your income. You can have a play around with figures here www.entitledto.co.uk. If you worked you could keep all your maintainance, it wouldn't be taken into account as income for tax credit purposes.

Get somewhere like CAB to do a 'better off' calculation for you.

Finally re the house. I think you should get some advise before you sell and divide the proceeds up. It may be that you are entitled to a larger proportion % wise because of having to care for the kids.

Best wishes

jules-2005

I have been worrying about this all day and just now as he left (I'm letting spend as much time with the kids as possible, I'm not using them as ammunition) he's just told me not to worry as he will continue paying the bills and mortgage, borrowing from his credit card if need be.

I think he's playing mind games with me. He's also just said that he wants a 50/50 split of the proceeds from the house. Does anyone know how solicitors work out who should have what share ? I put the orignal deposit of 4k down on this house and I worked fulltime on more money than him up until 4 years ago when I gave up work when I was pregnant with number 2, Does that have any bearing on how the split will go ?

Sorry to keep asking so many questions. I'm full of them at the moment.

Spendless

My friends ex-hubby got far less than a 50% split. This is because it took into account she needed a bigger place for her and the kids than he did. Also that her earning potential and hours she was able to work were limited due to having children and childcare.

This is why I think you shouldn't be agreeing to anything at this moment before you've sought proper advice.

helen21_2

Prudent wrote:

Lone parents, whose partners have left or dies, do not have to wait the standard 39 weeks befor getting help with their mortgage.

The partners need to have desserted them not left them

Dormouse

I have absolutely no advice (sorry, am a bit useless!) but just wanted to say good luck to jules and hope this mess gets sorted as quickly and painlessly as possible.:grouphug:

jules-2005

Spendless wrote:

My friends ex-hubby got far less than a 50% split. This is because it took into account she needed a bigger place for her and the kids than he did. Also that her earning potential and hours she was able to work were limited due to having children and childcare.

This is why I think you shouldn't be agreeing to anything at this moment before you've sought proper advice.

No, I'm not agreeing to anything he suggests. I will definately see the CAB and a free half hour solicitor if possible this week.

In answer to your previous question, my eldest 2 are at school so I only have my 2 year old daughter to care for during the day.

beryldog

I hate to say this but, see a solicitor. You will qualify for legal aid and although this may result in a charge on the house, it will save you in the long run. Stay put, don't make any agreements with your husband till you have got advice.
When I seperated I spent a day with the solicitor, but felt a lot had been taken off my shoulders. I had an income (not enough to maintain the house) and six children. It starts on a sliding scale of 50/50, you have the kids, if he claims he can't support them, the sliding scale moves in your favour, and so on and so on. My ex tried every trick in the book and the I ended up with the lot. Contact all who need to know and explain the situation. Don't count on the CSA, I didn't get a penny. You can get free advice from a solicitor for the first half hour, and you don't have to stop at one. A friend of mine has seen almost every one in my city.
As your parents lent you both money, this can be used also.
It will get better. I let the solicitor deal with it all and concentrated on the kids. Keep an eye on what he does, you may need to dot the i's and cross the T's.
Wish you the best of luck.
Chris