What a mess, split up with husband and house problems

jules-2005

Where do I start.

I split up with my husband 2 weeks ago and there is no chance of us getting back together (he has committed adultery). We have 3 children aged 5, 4 & 2 and I do not work .

At the moment he is living at his mums house but there is not enough space for him to move in properly with her. He has informed me this morning that he will have to rent somewhere and can't afford the mortgage on this house plus his rent on another house and I need to do something to sort it out. Our mortgage payment is £600 per month and rent on most places round here is about £600.

I was quite prepared to sell the house, pay off the credit cards and other minor debts and start afresh but I've no idea what to do in the meantime. I don't want to not pay the mortgage and cc and get bad credit. Do you think if I rang the companies and advised them of the problems they would help ?

There is plenty of equity in the house. The mortgage is 80k and the house is worth approx 170k although we have an early redemption fee of 2k if the mortgage is paid off before July. The credit cards are approximately 13k, overdraft is 2k and other bits of creidt are approx 1K.

I don't know what to next. I presume if I sell this place and pay back my parents the money thay have lent us over the years (which they don't want back but will keep for me for mine & the kids future) I will have to rent somewhere or get a council house. Do I get any benefits to pay the rent and for food. I have never been on benefits before and have no idea where to start.

I'll try and get down to the CAB this week for advice but was wondering if anyone had any words of wisdom to offer me.

Becles

Sorry to hear your news *hugs*

Talk to the mortgage lender. They were very understanding when I was in the same position. I was looking for a job though and they offered me half payments for a few months to take the pressure off while I found work. They would rather know now and help you, than you default and they have to get nasty!

You can put in a claim for Income Support for you and the children. Have a look on here for more info:
http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/JCP/Customers/WorkingAgeBenefits/Incomesupport/index.html

If you moved into rented housing, you will get benefits to cover housing costs. I'm not sure how this works though, but someone else will be along to explain it soon.

Keep your chin up - it seems like a mess now, but trust me, it does get easier as time passes

Smiley_Mum

Sorry to hear about your troubles. You'll get plenty of help on here. It may seem bleak just now but it will get better.

Put your claim forms in straight away otherwise you will lose out on benefit that you are entitled to.



These links may help...

http://www.dwp.gov.uk/resourcecentre/fam_child.asp

http://www.ivillage.co.uk/parenting/family/singpar/articles/0,,186642_186755,00.html

Once you get things sorted financially you may be able to get support through Sure Start. They are a government funded support group for single parent families with children up to age 3. They were a great help to me on a wide range of things. You can get referred through your Health Visitor. Here is a link for info about it...

http://www.surestart.gov.uk/

If possible try and have someone mind the children for you when you first visit the DSS office etc re your benefit entitlements etc as you could be in for a long wait.

Good Luck, stay strong. You can come on here anytime, I'm sure there will always be someone around to help you out with whatever you ask about.

cattie

If you were able to keep the house you would qualify for help from income support to pay the interest on your morgage. Have a read here http://scotland.shelter.org.uk/advice/advice-3746.cfm

Shelter should be able to advise about any worries you may have regarding housing too.

I've been in your situation as regards to a cheating husband & being left a lone parent, so really do empathise :grouphug:

bonnie_2

Are the debts in your name or in joint names because if they are not solely in your name i certainly wouldnt pay them back. also if you sell your house you might find out that you have made yourself homeless and the council wont rehouse you i would stay in the house and get the interest paid from income support, you are entitled to the house as your children are under 18. so stay put.also if you get any money from the house sale you wont get benifits either.
and make sure he pays maintenance for the children.
chin up, things can only get better.

comping_cat

I agree with everything everyone else says, ive been there too and i would say get down to the CAB, they are excellent for advice on benefits etc. Also find out from your ex what he expects, will he want all his debts paid off, and half the equity in the house if you do sell??
Hope it all works out well for you, ive been there and come out the otherside a lot happier and stronger xxxxx

jules-2005

The mortgage and overdraft are in joint names, The big credit card (10k) is in my name and the other 2 credit cards are in his name.

This is all so complicated. I've just been trying to work out if he could buy me out of the house but I don't think thats possible.

If we go for a 60/40 split after the mortgage and debts have been paid, I would end up with 39k but he has already said he doesn't deserve anything out of the house although things may change with his attitude which is getting worse and I could end potentially end up with 65k after estate agents and solicitors fees. I don't think I could hide that amount of money away.

I don't think I could claim anything whilst I have that amount of savings but its getting through the tough times with little income until the house is sold. At the moment, monthly we get approx £417 from the child tax credit and £159 child allowance. If I claim income support then presumably I'd lose the tax credit and then any maintenance ex paid for the kids I wouldn't see if I read the csa bit correctly. I think I'd be worse off. I wondered if I would be better off talking to the mortgage and credit card companies and asking to put a hold on the payments until the house is sold and getting ex to pay me £300 per month to tide me over (thats only 25 per child per week)

This is all so confusing and probably too much for me to take in all at once.

bonnie_2

you have told the child tax credit that you have split up because it sounds like a lot of money you are getting, i wouldnt want you to end up with an overpayment. on income support you would get £56 for you and £43 tax credit per child plus a family premium of about £17.i think you work out maintenance on 10 percent of their income per child.

elaine373

I have sent you a private message.

mspig

I was in the same predicament a few years back.

Firstly the income support will only pay the interest on your property which you can not get until you have been on benefits for 40 weeks.
Also you would still get tax credits for your children as the income support will only be paid for you as this is the way new claims work these days.
You could speak to someone at Shelter about your housing situation as they deal in housing needs especially if there is any chance of becoming homeless.

The council should, if you can prove to them that you can not afford the mortgage put you on there re-housing list. I was in the highest group in Manchester but it still took best part of a year for them to find a property.

My mortgage company put the mortgage on to interst only mortgage and as long as they had confimation that the house was for sale they agreed to let me off paying for a couple of months which really helped.

I was very lucky though as i got offered a house with a housing association on the Friday and someone made an offer on the house on the monday. You will have to decide if you sell the house before you are offered a council property where you will go.

Good luck and i hope it all goes well for you.

black-saturn

All thats left for me to do is echo the good advice already given. You could also take a look at the following sites for more detailed help on being a lone parent (which believe me isnt that bad):

http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/

http://www.lone-parents.org.uk

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/onelife/personal/parenthood/lone_benefits1.shtml

And I will also PM you my site which I am not allowed to advertise on here