Great 'financial harmony in relationships' hunt

k1mmie

Our situation is easy!!!

Hubby worked and I looked after kids. All the money came in and went into a joint account and bills paid from that. Savings account joint also.

However he has had no work since November and we don't have that problem anymore - except where do we pay the joint princely income sum of £94.95 per week from JSA???? lol.

Have to laugh! After 24 years together never been closer.

Turtle

My OH earns about 4k more than me. We each get our salary paid into our own account and have a joint account for household expenses. Monthly outgoings are split in half and we pay half each. Car stuff comes from our own account, larger purchases and holidays we pay from joint savings and if not enough in there we split the shortfall half each. If we go out then he usually pays and this evens out the differences in our earnings. What's left in our own account after money paid to joint account is ours to do what we want with.

I have control of joint money as work in a bank and OH has no interest in it. He trusts me to do what's best for us. Each April I work out what the expenses will be each month for that year then we adjust our payment to joint account as necessary.

I do my best to ensure the joint money goes as far as it can, meal plan, cook from scratch, look for best deals etc then anything left in joint account at end of month goes to joint savings or extra off mortgage. I helped OH with things like setting up full DD for credit card when we first got together (13 years ago) to ensure paid in full each month. Prior to this he'd had the occasional late fee (although he wasn't charged on other occasions when he was late, can't imagine that happening now!)

Everything has always worked really well for us like this - we both like having our own money, I would feel like I'd have to ask before buying something otherwise, but that's just me I guess. I don't think it matters what the arrangement is as long as both parties are happy with it. When you can't reach an agreement then I suppose that's when it gets tricky.

welshgirl78

hi all
My OH and I have spent the last hour or so musing through these posts and planning and chatting about what it will be like for us when we are married. (YAY)
We had already agreed on joint accounts and now got some ideas about saving for presents etc and little habits such as buying lunch. We have planned that we will agree big purchases but allow for me to pop to H&M of a lunchtime unexpectedly. He can have sky sports but we won't get movies. We have to plan for when one of us isn't working for babies but are planning on sharing our money well in advance of that, and that will even out uneven salary sizes. Neither of us can imagine offsetting a lower income by doing more housework etc - if you both work about the same amount you both share the housework regardless of salary - SAHM/F discounted of course.

Been an interesting and fruitful evening

borkid

Hi there's a lot of talk about paying half but that doesn't take into account all the unpaid work around the house. What I and hubby have done for over 34 years now is one joint account, initially when we were both in paid work both salaries went in. Then we decided on how much for food, bills etc that included clothes the rest was saved for a deposit. Basically we lived off his earnings and saved mine. Once a year when we had a pay rise we decided what to do with it increase food money etc. This only changed when I had children and didn't go out to work, also at this point we could live off one salary albeit very basically. When I then decided to return to work he suggested that as we didn't need my money to pay the bills etc I should have my own account and he opened a separate account for himself. This worked well as he was also saving a few hundred pounds a month so I didn't feel he had more than me. There were times when extra was needed like music lessons, school trips, university fees etc. I tended to pay for these although I could have just as easily taken them out of the joint account.
Now he has retired and I still work a couple of hours a week we still have a similar set up. All bills etc come out of his pension and what is left is split between the 2 of us. 'My' earned money I spend on the house eg new oil tank, going out for meals basically luxuries and repaying the mortgage, an endowment policy will clear it in about 8 years but we thought it would be good to get it down a bit now.
Although I don't always see the point in what he buys it's his money I have the same and he probably doesn't always see the need for the things I buy. It works for us

terry2

what we do, which works for us but may not for others is:
all money goes into a joint account and from that account we move money out into other accounts (*) which are earmarked for specific purchases.

Two of these are for our personal spending so that is kept separate, one is for holidays, one is for big purchases for the house, one is for a replacement car, one is for annual expenses, one is for treats (like eating out) etc.

when there is a change in income, we have a haggle to decide how much goes into each account per month. When we want to buy something then, if there isn't enough money in the relevant account, the purchase has to be postponed.

it means we have lots of accounts with smaller amounts in, but it does
let us keep track of what the money is destined for.

(*) just like using piggie banks to keep track of your savings.

esthomizzy

twirlypinky wrote: »

Having had my fingers well and truely burnt in my last relationship, I would never have a joint account again.

Me too

After the misery I went through getting out of a joint home and the ongoing arguments about furniture and televisions which were jointly purchased. I can quite honestly say (2 years later) that I am never buying so much as a cushion with a partner in future. What I buy I keep in the event of a later split and ditto for them. I might buy a joint property again but I'm certainly not selling my flat to do so (having made the mistake of selling a property of mine in the past to raise the deposit and being stiffed for my past good financial planning). The flat I'm going to keep forever so that I have somewhere safe to lick my wounds next time it all goes tits up.

Yes I'm cynical and it's the only way be sure of not being the financial loser next time.

KT297

Hi,
It's interesting reading about how others manage this! Our situation is that I earn a salary of £26k and my DH is self employed (start up business not earning much - a few hundred a month after expenses). Before we were together I had a current account (to pay salary into and for general spending) but put a set amount every month into my bills account to cover all bills (which come out at various times during the month by DD) every 3 months I do a tally of the bills account and any extra (eg bills came in less than expected and the months when certain DD's don't get taken) goes into savings. When DH moved in we agreed an affordable amount for him to contribute based on his average earnings. So all bills are covered and we each contribute a reasonable amount (about 70:30 split). I pay for all grocery shopping and small household items and DH pays for car running costs (we share big repair bills and petrol). If he is short he takes some money from me. If we are both short we agree what we can and can't afford to spend money on. We talk about money lots and generally make joint decisions but I do all the organising and planning and I keep records (including business accounts and the dreaded tax return!). My debts accrued before we got together are paid from my money left over after bill contribution and once I've paid the bill money I have enough left to cover everything I need for the month. This way DH can spend what he wants on personal items and so can I! It means that we are both contributing to the household as a partnership and we are also both left with money to spend at the end of it. We have made the bills account a joint account so that we can both transfer in and out more easily - I have absolute trust in DH and he in me so this works well for us.
KT

fernliebee

We don't have joint accounts but we share all our money, whoever has money pays what needs paying. Normally I pay rent and council tax and he pays for shopping, gas, electricity etc. I am now on maternity (just got my last SMP payment, and I'm not returning to work so we're on our own now! Eeek!) My husband is self employed so his income is variable so it makes sense for him to pay for variable costs. We use each others bank cards and share all our money but we have never had a real need to open a joint account. We have been together for 10 years and have one child.

mrs_T

We've been married 22 years and never had a joint bank account although we do have a joint (in name only) mortgage which dh pays. He pays what's left of the mortgage (most of it was payed off from his inheritance) and that'll be gone in three years when policies mature. He also pays the utilities. However, we have three children and I have never stopped working apart from maternity leaves due to his belief that if he had to go out to work so should I, no question of what's best for children. In the last few years he has started giving the kids pocket money (£100 a month between three) but until and apart from this he has never payed for any of the expenditure they incur including clothes, birthday and xmas presents. I pay for all the groceries/miscelaneous household stuff and bought and run my own car (the family people carrier he refused to admit we needed but he drives at weekends). He is definately a lot happier now I am working full time and earning nearly as much as him, but he is worried I will pack it in because I find it so stressful with the family and running the house.

learningtosave

we've been married two years and oh earns about 4k more than i do, each with our own accounts. big but: he's a serious saver and i haven't been very good with money before now. i have debts from before we married, where he paid his off. at the mo, i pay half of everything, except to do with the car (his in the prenup, although i drive it occassionally for grocery shopping). bigger things like the credit card purchases, i keep record of and pay off on a monthly basis. i'm struggling financially where he was doing well, now though we're looking to make serious investments as far as a house and studies, so he is kindly helping me sort my debts out. do i feel guilty? yes! do i think he shouldn't have to? yes! could i do it on my own? no. so for now it's not the best situation to be in, but i take comfort in knowing that in a few years time my salary will likely skyrocket where his might or might not. if / when that happens i'll happily reverse roles knowing he's done it for me.

still i'd love to have a bit more spare cash, but knowing that would only happen if he paid more to the bills, i ain't gonna say anything about it. far as i'm concerned, he's going above and beyond. aren't i lucky?!