Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?

Unity

MSE_Forum_Manager wrote: »

Hi Folks

Firstly, thanks to Lady Morticia for contacting abuse, and Unity for contacting a member of the team and alerting us to this. I've gone through all the checks available to us but the account has been set up to be as generic and non specific as possible. There isn't a huge amount we can do at this point to help, although we are certainly concerned for the welfare of Sandy71 and hope that the comment made above isn't what it seems.

If anyone hears anything more, please let us know.

Thank you very much for trying your best to help - that was all we could think of to do, as it is so frustrating to feel powerless when someone is in trouble like this. We will certainly let you know the moment that we hear anything.

Molly41

Sorry I had to go and sort out my kids. Oh please lets hope she is ok. Thinking of you Sandy xx

Molly41

Thanks Lady Morticia and Unity for contacting MSE. It doesnt look like there is much they can do - hoping for the best x

Unity

Molly41 wrote: »

Thanks Lady Morticia and Unity for contacting MSE. It doesnt look like there is much they can do - hoping for the best x

I don't know what caused me to log in when I did, but I read your post and that worried me and convinced me I wasn't being overly dramatic when I reported Sandy's post. Lady M must have been thinking the same thing so we did what we thought best.

By coincidence I got a PM from MSE Natasha about something unrelated, so I replied straight away and asked if any of the mods were watching this thread.

It has been quite a stressful situation - but I still wonder if there was anything else I could have done. I only wish I had been logged in when Sandy posted, maybe just being there for her might have helped. I just hope she's okay.

LadyMorticia

I hope she is okay. Contacting Abuse was the only thing I could think to do.

crazy_girl

oh my goodness ive just read back on everything thats happened i hope shes ok

jennihen

Well done you guys.

seeya23

well cpn call today i did think i got on well with her may be not then oh well like i was saying im on my own and no one cares and your just a number and it all come down to money at end of day just take your meds and go a way

HopeAndDriftWood

Hi...
I don't think I've ever posted in here before but I could do with some support...
I'll try and keep it as short as possible. I'm 19, and I can't cope with Christmas. I've always had huge problems with my family, my three sisters were taken into care but I was left.
My parents kicked me out in January last year, and I've been getting better since then. I live with my partner, but last night was the first night in a while that I've been on my own while he went home. I thought I'd be okay, and I'd arranged for my little sister to visit today.
I phoned this morning to see where she was, and my mum said dad put her on the train and I should be there, its arriving in two minutes. So I got dressed and ran the forty minute walk there, the train is already there but sister isn't. She's never caught a train before, let alone on her own, and is only 10, so I start to worry. I searched the carriages, and eventually some train staff helped too. By this point I'm hysterical, and phone my dad. He says he never took sister to the train station, he's at work and mum hadn't wanted sister to visit.

I apologized to the train staff and walked home, and phoned mum to see why she'd done that to me. She told me everyone would be better with me dead, and that I should do everyone a favour and die. She said she wished she'd taken more abortion pills because she doesnt want me, doesnt love me and its not fair that she's constantly reminded of her failing to get rid of me every Christmas and July.

I shouldn't be bothered by this anymore, I've heard it all before and everyone is aware of how she felt towards me. My health problems are down to how many pills she took while pregnant, but I always thought she would love me eventually. I don't get much contact with my sisters, but at least I know they are happy. I'm not, though. I hate Christmas because it brings it all out. I'll be at boyfriends, not on my own, because its his birthday. But I always wonder if they want me there, or if its just because I have no where else to go.

I phoned my doctor and told him, he told me to keep my chin up. Last time I saw him, about two weeks ago, I told him that I can't cope, but he won't take me seriously. I wrote him a letter a month ago, explaining exactly how low I feel, and that the highs I get in between don't feel normal. I've got a lot of relatives with bipolar, so I know what thats like, and I'm petrified of being sectioned.

I don't know what to do. It took all my effort to get out of bed and stop crying, and I haven't really stopped. I contacted the mental health team at uni recently, and the council funded department, but without GP recommendations they can't do anything. I'm excellent at hiding things, and maybe thats part of the problem, but surely people should see behind that? I've tried to stop, but with 18 years of pretending to have a normal family and a normal life, I'm good enough to even fool myself.

I want a family who love me, I want support and help and I want to be normal. Maybe she's right. I don't know what to do anymore but I don't want to be doing this.

darknesshayz

First of all SaucySecrets hugs.

Reading what you wrote about what your mum said to you, I wanted to cry and just give you a hug.

---

I am feeling abit better today, but still feel downish, I am trying to find my place with the world, where I should be............ Also I am frightend of dying..... When I was younger the doctors told my parents, I wouldnt live past 18 years old, and now I am 24, I have been worrying for the past 3/4 of dying, and I still worry about it now.... I know they say dont worry about death, but to be honest I am!
Also, I have lived with 8 years of guilt for what happened in the past, and to find out a few months ago he admitted to what he done, hurts me so much.... Why didnt he admit it all them years ago, why now? I am finding that hard to deal with.... cause of all them years of guilt. I just think that this person is trying to get me too, cause he said though my teenage years (13-15) ''if you tell anyone I'll climb on your roof and kill you, family and whatever pets you got, plus no one will believe you'' and that just plays over and over in my mind, I go crazy if the window is open in my room, and if its open I got to look around to see if ''he'' is in the room! I go out and keep looking around. He got found not guilty on me back in 2001, but he's admitted to it now, so I dunno what will happen to him now. To be honest I dont know what to think, I dunno if to still hate him for messing up my life..... I am trying to cope with so much in my life, trying to think about other stuff too. I am fed up of pretending to be happy when I am not, but I dont want my mates to feel sorry for me etc.... Thats one thing I dont want.... I just cant cope, but no one can see it.... though I think I hide most of it away from people, I find it hard to trust people....

I just want to wake up and just think the past 12 years of my life is just one big dream, but reality of it is...... its not a dream, its real, real, real.....

Live is one confussing messed up ride, and I just want to get of the ride, get my life back to the way I want it to be, normal, but what is normal? I want my teenage years back, I wasnt a real teenager after what he done to me....
Also my ex was abusive too me whenever his football team lost, so I dont trust guys much, cause off all off this.....

Sorry about the long post, but I feel if I can open up on here, where as in person I find it hard..... As I need the trust there, its werid, I can trust people in the internet world, but I cant trust them face to face.... :S