Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?

jennihen

Hello Seeya23
If Someone had told me how hard this would be and how hard I would have to fight just to keep going I never would have believed that it was possible or I would have the strength to do this. BUT 10 years on I'm doing it. Its taken a long time to win any sort of support that Lupus or depression are real illnesses. Finally I'm at a point where I believe in myself (on good days!!!) and that carries me through.
Keep posting, tell us more about yourself and if anyone here can help you - they will.
In the mean time stay strong - you have 4 beautiful children and your actions will be the basis of their learning life. You coping and facing adversity will teach them so much. it might be the only place they learn these particular lessons.
I wish you a peaceful night's rest and I look forward to you posting further
JH x

seeya23

hello jennihen

i was first ill in 1994 when i try to kill myself i was put on a section 3 many time over a few years then i met my my wife got a job had 4 kids and stay well till last year when i was again put on asection 3 lost my job due to being ill my meds aint working at mo my cpn is calling me on friday
i feel that im all alone im not any sleep everythink just going around in my mind cant talk to my wife as i do not want to upset her as she has the kids to look after

crazy_girl

ScotWill wrote: »

Hi all. New to MSE and this thread caught my eye. It always gives me hope when I see a forum where people are supporting each other so well! I've struggled with depression myself over the years, and really hope things improve soon for those of you who are finding it especially tough at the moment, particularly sandy71, crazy_girl and seeya23 - wishing for better times ahead for you. And LadyMorticia, I agree with Unity that you should get it checked out; after all, the doctor should be there to provide a service to you and make a professional assessment, not to judge you.

welcome, everyone here is really supportive, ive been very grateful especially lately

crazy_girl

jennihen wrote: »

Hello ScotWill, Nice to see you - it is a nice thread!! Its nice to be able to log on at your best , your worst or in between and get some encouraging words. None of us want to feel like this and we're all striving to lead 'normal' lives. I've gained such an insight into why I get depressed, I honestly think I've learned more on this website than from any medical professional (and I was first perscribed AD's when I was 7 years old!!)
LadyM - ask your DR outright if he can recommend another GP who has more experience with ME and autoimmune conditions because you are not prepared to carry on feeling the way you are feeling. Practise saying it in the mirror until you feel confident - I had to!!!
Sandy, crazy_girl and seeya23 - if you feel like doing something harmful I'm asking as a friend - not tonight. Put up a post, keep busy, whatever, but please NOT tonight. And tomorrow we 'll be here to help you deal with tomorrow.
Sandy especially - its hard with children. I feel guilty all the time. Do you have any help from social services. In the past I have had help getting mine to school and Direct payments because I didn't qualify for DLA (although you can get both - DLA for you AND dp's to help with costs associated with the children)
Unity - I think you pm'd me - I'll do that next.

On the plus side - I was sofa-ridden Monday but back at work today and really felt I earned my wage. Cooked a good tea and got some jobs done around the house. Gonna wrap some chrimbo gifts tonight but planning an early night -Need to pace myself - got a lovely day to look forward to on saturday and want to enjoy it not endure it.
Love to all
JH x

not tonight

got docs tomorrow

sounds like youre doing well today :j

what youre describing makes me worry about having kids. i dont want them to be affected by my problems or have them taken off me

jennihen

Hi again - I 've been on the phone to my ex MIL - 10 years on and I'm the best thing since sliced bread!! this is from the woman who said I'd die a horrible death (it was the relish she said it with that frightened me!) Still she is grandma to my bubs and I actually feel sorry for her - she has had a really tough life. A bad start and a bad marriage then loisng a child which was wrapped in newspaper and left on her bed resulted in her having electric shock therapy at Knowle hospital - yep that was how they treated depression back then. The saddest bit is that she hasn't learnt any compassion or empathy in her life. The only way I cope with any of the carp is to treat it as a learning experince.
back to you - 4 kids - and you still love your wife - not easy is it?
You said your CPN is calling tomorrow - phone or in person? How do you relate to him/her?

crazy_girl

seeya23 wrote: »

hello jennihen

i was first ill in 1994 when i try to kill myself i was put on a section 3 many time over a few years then i met my my wife got a job had 4 kids and stay well till last year when i was again put on asection 3 lost my job due to being ill my meds aint working at mo my cpn is calling me on friday
i feel that im all alone im not any sleep everythink just going around in my mind cant talk to my wife as i do not want to upset her as she has the kids to look after

ive been in hospital once when i was 20 they didnt section me but pretty much threatened to if i didnt go in willingly im scared im going there again

i think you should talk to your wife, if it was the other way round id want to know what was going on in my hubbys head even if it was hard to hear

hope you dont mind me asking but whats a section 3?

jennihen

Hi Crazy_girl -howya doin' petal? Hows that puppy? We've got a little itteh bitteh kitteh and she's sooooo cute. So trusting and innocent - you only have to say her name and she comes running for some love.

crazy_girl

to be honest the way im feeling right now is im only not od-ing coz it might go wrong and i dont wanna go to hospital again

pup is fine thanks

kitty sounds ace

jennihen

Please don't be thinking like that - there is is a reason for you being here. Tonight is not the night for you to leave us. What ever you are going through is for a bigger reason. I think you are stronger than most people because life has been harder for you. NOT tonight - tomorrow may hold the answers.

crazy_girl

maybei honestly dont know