Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?

absolutebounder

darknesshayz wrote: »

Hey!


I self harm, hear voices in my head & some times have thoughts of sciude! I just don't know if anyone can help me and I blame
myself for stopping them tablets at the age of 16!

Whether you took tablets 8 yrs ago or not would not make any difference today.
as you cant make the past better there is no point blaming yourself for what you did or didnt do then.
it is a common mindset to say that you cant move on unless something in your past is fixed. But as you cant turn back time you are saying you cant move on. Once you accept that you may find it easier to go forward.

sandy71

Hope everyone is feeling ok today despite the weather:rolleyes:

I thought I was doing ok but seem to be having an allergic reaction to my new meds:mad: The leaflet says if you get a rash to stop taking them but I cant just stop its too dangerous. Not sure what to do now

Blakespops

I have had so much happening this past 18 months, am on high rate mobility low care after fighting DLA. have had problems with my back for over 20 years but seemed to settle down for a few then came back with a vengance the Sunday I slipped a disc on way out to park with son and wife. Since then if i walk I get a pain down right side that takes my leg away and i fall. Docs are unsure what is problem, discs slip every two months or so yet they say that nothing surgery can do for me so am shipped off to pain management. fell this past week and was day before i was to go to pain clinic so told them and they said if i went to A&E they would not xray as not displaced so nothing they can do. have been given a manual wheelchair but do not go out due to pain i get if using it myself . the pain is something that has effected my 4 year old and it makes me think him and my wife would be better off without me. have not cried for years but the way i am feeling now i just do not know how much more i can take. not had a normal sleep for a year and tell them pain stops me sleeping. not slept for two nights now and pills only take edge off but do not know what pain free life is anymore. where do you go when the doctors fail you? not like it is my fault they say I am just diagnosed as chronic pain but its unspecified diagnosis. makes it hard to think straight so excuse my bad spelling. I just type as i think not as if doing a letter. just grab a coffee and will type more or answer any replies

jennihen

don't despair and don't think your family would be better off without you - thats never the case xx

black_paw

Blakespops wrote: »

I have had so much happening this past 18 months, am on high rate mobility low care after fighting DLA. have had problems with my back for over 20 years but seemed to settle down for a few then came back with a vengance the Sunday I slipped a disc on way out to park with son and wife. Since then if i walk I get a pain down right side that takes my leg away and i fall. Docs are unsure what is problem, discs slip every two months or so yet they say that nothing surgery can do for me so am shipped off to pain management. fell this past week and was day before i was to go to pain clinic so told them and they said if i went to A&E they would not xray as not displaced so nothing they can do. have been given a manual wheelchair but do not go out due to pain i get if using it myself . the pain is something that has effected my 4 year old and it makes me think him and my wife would be better off without me. have not cried for years but the way i am feeling now i just do not know how much more i can take. not had a normal sleep for a year and tell them pain stops me sleeping. not slept for two nights now and pills only take edge off but do not know what pain free life is anymore. where do you go when the doctors fail you? not like it is my fault they say I am just diagnosed as chronic pain but its unspecified diagnosis. makes it hard to think straight so excuse my bad spelling. I just type as i think not as if doing a letter. just grab a coffee and will type more or answer any replies

sorry to hear your so much in pain ..send mega hugs to you.....perhaps changing doc's or go to another doctor place ? have you asked to see a specialist or lease have a scan or something like that ..my friend had bad back they said it was nothing 5 months later found out it was cracked ribs and twisted spine ( had car go in to her ) thing is sometimes you have to keep on at the doc's..i changed 3 times to i found the right one..on number 2 i sat and cried until he arranged a specialist for me ...as was in so much pain...your family will never, ever be better off without you , and look at the things your miss. your son growing up .and seeing dad every morning..i can understand where you come from as my brother was in the same way except he has major heart prob +l ots more and only 45, and waking up to see the 2 year old triplet's each morning keeps him going....how can you miss there smile and laughter ..they all need you ..

crazy_girl

jennihen wrote: »

don't despair and don't think your family would be better off without you - thats never the case xx

i second this x

System

crazy_girl wrote: »

i second this x

and i third it.

Hope you're all ok. Think i'm in for another sleepless night night. My moods are driving me insane. I was high as a kite yesterday then WHAM!! back down again today..and now i'm back up. I feel like i'm going insane. Arrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh.

crazy_girl

hope things stablalise for you soon MU x

i was in bed all yesterday, i did get some work done on the lappy though so not all bad

im already panicking about my BIL's birthday meal tonight, the food, the loos, my clothes, the people in the restaurant, my hubby's family etc. i hate that it makes what should be fun things so worrysome

jennihen

Hi Guys!!
I've been having a lovely morning so far - I feel so normal!! I realise the steroids play a big part - I'm not in pain!! Its heaven and I've been doing stuff!! Why can't every day be like this?
It makes such a difference to be on top of things - just having a tidy house and being up to date with the washing etc makes life easier. My kids are great but most of the time I'm too tired to nag them to help and I end up doing everything just cos I want it done there and then.
In my natural state I'm a 'doer' and I like looking after the people I love. Lupus makes me feel like I'm trudging through mud every day. Its an effort to talk and make my brain work!!
I really wonder about my depression at times like this - my GP knows I don't like talking about the past but has offered to find me a counsellor who isn't connected to the volunteer work that I do. I'm wondering if talking to someone about ways of dealing with depression rather than my personnal circumstances would help more. For instance lots of people with chronic illnesses are perscribed AD's as a matter of course. I always felt fobbed off when my old GP kept pressing them on me when I was more intent on getting effective pain meds. Anyone got any thoughts on this??

sandy71

Hope things are better for everyone today. I have just rung the out of hours doctors about my reaction to my meds and was told they will admit me if I want or I can just stop taking the meds and suffer the consequenses (It may kill me:rolleyes:) or put up with it.
Thanks SOOOOOOO much for the advice :mad: