Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?

crazy_girl

ive been a bit up and down lately (as blinking usual!) the book launch went really well but i had a nightmare of a gig that night, ended up in tears before id even got to the venue! thursday i slept most of the day then had a meeting later on about the stakeholders day next week (im a young person consultant for tahms) today i went out for a couple of hours with my friend which was nice but im totally knackered now, i was tryign to get some donations for an event im going to do next year for the charity that have (and still do) help me out a lot but i did pretty !!!!!! really i feel like hiding under my covers all weekend tbh

System

I'm wide awake. This isn't good. Not when i couple it with the fact people keep telling me i'm acting "hyper" again. Its weird. I feel so full of energy (at half 4 in the morning) and have so many ideas and convosations in my head and stuff i need to do but theres alittle bit of my brain with a massive flashing red sign saying WARNING!! and i'm remebering the little voice isn't me..its my pysych saying if you have another manic episide we might have to change your diagnisis to bipolar not boderlibne. woah cant type slow enough. !!!!!!. confused.

but i feel fine which reminds me of wine, and ive been doing that all night too. i keeep thinking of words. words that rhyme and prefix others. its been going on for hours in my head.

apologies i'm rambellign on. and none one is awake anyway. oopsy

darknesshayz

Hey!

I got diganosed with depression a few months ago (though I've had it years, I was on anti-d's when I was 16, but my abuse ex said if I didn't come of them then he'd beat me up, so I stopped taking them) and now being 24 I wish I hadn't!!

I think I've sunk myself that low, I'm just trying to crawl my way out of it now, it's just so hard, Im seeing a concoiulor soon (this is my 4th one) and I'm worrierd that I have so many problems she won't be able to help. I was sexally abused at a young age, got abused/beat up by my ex boyfriend, finding out my ex boyfriend then abused my brother, trying to come to terms with lots of stuff... I just don't think she could help.

I self harm, hear voices in my head & some times have thoughts of sciude! I just don't know if anyone can help me and I blame
myself for stopping them tablets at the age of 16!

Unity

Hi :hello: to the newcomers and those revisiting. I'm not posting much at present as my concentration is shot and my mind is all over the place due to meds. The whole family have been asking: "What are you on?" this morning 'cos I'm so hyper . I think it is down to getting the dosage of Thyroxine right as my doc rang to say my T4 is up to 32.4 so I should reduce it. The trouble is that on this dose I can get through more of the day without falling asleep and I'm not getting any of the expected side effects - like palpitations. He's suggesting alternate days on 100mcg and 75 so we'll see how that goes.

I'm still waiting for blood results after seeing the rheumi as GP thinks I too might have Lupus. I'm being referred to a dermatologist to check on the rash, so hopefully he might do a biopsy. Obviously I hope it's negative, I'm not really bothered whether it has a name or not - but I just want either a cure or some treatment. I am so sick of being told "You are a challenging case.":mad:

He11 I'm off - this doesn't make sense to me,:rolleyes: so I apologise to everyone else .

jennihen

Hi Unity - I agree with what you said about not being bothered if it has a name or not - I was so releived to find a GP who cared about how I was going to get through each and every day!! Lupus does take a long time to diagnose. There is a definitive test now but its very expensive and has to be physically done in a lab - or so I've been told. Whatever it is I hope you get some relief soon x

witchwoopiggy

i have seen my shrink and now on more meds and the threat if i dont improve then back to hosptial i go, no chance i aint going. my cubard looks like a chemist and im finding it hard to take them all as im fighting with my voices who say i dont need them, i tryed to post on here about a week ago but due to disagreement on the thread didnt feel able to join in, so im trying again, cpn canceled meeting nothing new there and im trying so hard to pretend to the world im fine so i can stay at home. i so much wish that i could explain the voices and thoughts better so someone would understand , im sorry im woffling

absolutebounder

witchwoopiggy wrote: »

i have seen my shrink and now on more meds and the threat if i dont improve then back to hosptial i go, no chance i aint going. my cubard looks like a chemist and im finding it hard to take them all as im fighting with my voices who say i dont need them, i tryed to post on here about a week ago but due to disagreement on the thread didnt feel able to join in, so im trying again, cpn canceled meeting nothing new there and im trying so hard to pretend to the world im fine so i can stay at home. i so much wish that i could explain the voices and thoughts better so someone would understand , im sorry im woffling

In the words of erickson it looks like you have lost rapport with your unconcious mind

crazy_girl

darknesshayz wrote: »

Hey!

I got diganosed with depression a few months ago (though I've had it years, I was on anti-d's when I was 16, but my abuse ex said if I didn't come of them then he'd beat me up, so I stopped taking them) and now being 24 I wish I hadn't!!

I think I've sunk myself that low, I'm just trying to crawl my way out of it now, it's just so hard, Im seeing a concoiulor soon (this is my 4th one) and I'm worrierd that I have so many problems she won't be able to help. I was sexally abused at a young age, got abused/beat up by my ex boyfriend, finding out my ex boyfriend then abused my brother, trying to come to terms with lots of stuff... I just don't think she could help.

I self harm, hear voices in my head & some times have thoughts of sciude! I just don't know if anyone can help me and I blame
myself for stopping them tablets at the age of 16!

same here shayz x youre not alone on here thats for sure x dont blame yourself, you were put in an impossible position by your ex and thats not your fault that eh was abusive, that was all him x

crazy_girl

witchwoopiggy wrote: »

i have seen my shrink and now on more meds and the threat if i dont improve then back to hosptial i go, no chance i aint going. my cubard looks like a chemist and im finding it hard to take them all as im fighting with my voices who say i dont need them, i tryed to post on here about a week ago but due to disagreement on the thread didnt feel able to join in, so im trying again, cpn canceled meeting nothing new there and im trying so hard to pretend to the world im fine so i can stay at home. i so much wish that i could explain the voices and thoughts better so someone would understand , im sorry im woffling

maybe if trying to stay at hoem is so difficult, hospital could give you some respite from it all?

crazy_girl

jennihen wrote: »

Hi Unity - I agree with what you said about not being bothered if it has a name or not - I was so releived to find a GP who cared about how I was going to get through each and every day!! Lupus does take a long time to diagnose. There is a definitive test now but its very expensive and has to be physically done in a lab - or so I've been told. Whatever it is I hope you get some relief soon x

totally agree with all here x