Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?

juliescot

Odd that some posts regarding advice given to and about UN17ED seem to have gone? I wonder why that would be? How is your depression? How is your Mum? Got your train tickets yet?

Unity

juliescot wrote: »

Odd that some posts regarding advice given to and about UN17ED seem to have gone? I wonder why that would be? How is your depression? How is your Mum? Got your train tickets yet?

I wondered about the disappearing posts too :rolleyes:. Then again I also read that he wouldn't be posting if others didn't want him to and no one asked him to stay. How come he's still here?

As to the train tickets obviously he's waiting for Martin's weekly e-mail to see if there's a cheap deal .

Too many trolls, not enough billy goats .

UnluckyT

hi, been a lurker for a while before joining. tbh i dont know what up with me as i seem okay, plod on and get on with it then just feel so low(er) and i feel no one belives me, tried to get the doctors to help but the typical responce is 'what do you want me to do for you'. i also find ive been an easy target for bieng bullied in work, despite trying what i can to stop it
thanks

catkins

Hi, just found this thread and I really feel I need to post. I have suffered from depression since my teens and am now in my 50's. Over the years I have had bouts of taking antidepressants and at one particularly bad time when I was also getting terrible panic attacks I was seeing a counsellor.

The really bad time was about 18 years ago and apart from 2 or 3 brief spells on antidepressants I have managed on the whole to control the depression (at least to a level I could live with) by lots of walking, exercising, listening to music, dancing etc.

I have now been back on ad's for about 4 months. I've had some problems at work. My hours were cut and although I know I should be grateful because some people were made redundant, it is a struggle on less money.

I have been getting really bad migraines lasting a couple of days and have had quite a bit of time of work - this resulted in a "telling off" which in turn made me stressed making the depression and migraines worse. In the last 2 months I have had 3 periods of sickness - 3 days with a viral infection, and 2 periods of 2 days with a migraine. Now I feel I am being given the cold shoulder at work. There is an atmosphere between my bosses and myself and they are definitely not happy with me. New rotas are being drawn up for the weeks leading up to Christmas with people being given extra hours. Despite telling me previously that I would be given extra hours it now seems as if I won't (mainly because they are worried I will be off sick!!). I feel like I can't win.

They do know about my depression and that I am on ad's but all they say is that they would never guess I am depressed!!! No, that's because I am so good at covering it up, smiling and talking at work but then going home and crying my eyes out, crying all night, ranting and raving at my husband. My manager and assistant manager have both suffered in the past so you would think they could be a little more sympathetic.

Also a vacancy has come up with more hours and although I have been there over 2 years, someone who has only been there 4 months has been given it. My husband says I should start a grievance procedure but I am worried it will only make things worse for me at work.

My ad's were increased about 2 months ago and I did start to feel a bit better but now I think I feel worse than I did before. The dark mornings and evenings don't help and I just want to stay in bed all day. I only work a couple of afternoons a week and I am having to force myself out of bed to go. I feel like crying all the time (well a lot of the time I do cry). I can no longer be bothered to walk much or listen to music. I am eating like there is no tomorrow so am putting on weight - another vicious circle - clothes don't fit, feel fat so more depressed. I just feel so useless at the moment.

I cannot honestly say I feel suicidal but I would like to go to bed and sleep for months and months!!!

I am looking for another job but I am sure my sickness record is going to go against me. Having rarely been off sick over the years, the past year and a half I have had probably over 40 days sick!!!

I don't know what I expect any of you to say. I don't have any other health issues apart from the migraines so know I am luckier than most of you.

My husband does his best to keep me cheerful and he has had a lot to put up with over the years with my "lows" and "highs". He even says I should give up work but I would be too worried. He is self employed so we can never be totally sure what money he will earn.

Thanks for listening and I am sorry to have gone on so much

Unity

UnluckyT wrote: »

hi, been a lurker for a while before joining. tbh i dont know what up with me as i seem okay, plod on and get on with it then just feel so low(er) and i feel no one belives me, tried to get the doctors to help but the typical responce is 'what do you want me to do for you'. i also find ive been an easy target for bieng bullied in work, despite trying what i can to stop it
thanks

It might be worth doing a bit of research on depression via the Net e.g. symptoms and treatment. If you find something you like the sound of, you'll have a basis for your next GP visit.

Unfortunately I think this tactic "What do you want me to do for you" is becoming much more widely used, because it puts the onus back on the patient and the patient is either not knowledgeable, or does not want to be the one to choose. If I were asked this, my reply would be: "What choices do I have" rather than "What do you suggest". Just the subtle difference in choice of words can get a much better result in terms of options.

Good luck with it.

Unity

Catkins - I feel for you, I can manage most of the time with the anti-depressants, but once the dark nights hit I just want to escape. I often say that I just can't face another winter and my long term [STRIKE]plan[/STRIKE] dream is to be able to spend my winters in the Southern Hemisphere .

I am going to try the energy saving daylight bulbs (I mentioned further up this thread) and see how they go.

I would have a chat with your GP if you feel that you're not feeling the benefit from the anti-d's after two months, maybe it is time for a change. It might also be worth a referral to a neurologist who specialises in migraines for some up to date treatment?

Hopefully someone else will help with advice on the work situation, perhaps it would be beneficial if you could have a meeting with your bosses and explain the situation fully?

Good luck and if you really feel down, call the Samaritans. They are not just there for when you are at the end of your tether and they might be able to suggest things.

LameWolf

Morning, fellow dog-owners, from a rather confuzzled Wolf.

I've (again!!) overdone things at the weekend and am feeling the effects, so forgive me if I'm less than coherent.

Ooh, before I forget, welcome UnluckyT and Catkins.

crazy_girl wrote: »

I ****ing hate the people at early intervention team! i got a call last week from a CBT therapist saying that my care co-ordinator had referred me for CBT. i explained to him that i had already been discharged from early intervention as they have come to the conclusion that my voices and paranoia etc. are not due to psychosis. i get a letter from the guy arranging an appointment for today. he turns up, asks me a ton of questions for over an hour as if hes doing an initial assesment then says he cant come again as ive not got a worker in the early intervention team!!!!! why waste my flipping time then?!

Mega frustrating! I think half the time, they get their wires crossed, and don't update the records properly. That's cold comfort, I know. It's also one of the reasons I've refused all treatment for depression except tablets, since I moved in with Mr LW (and ditched the biggest source of misery in my life;)), because I can do without the extra stress that the intrusions into my life would cause, and because in my case counselling/CBT/other "talking" therapy stuff has always made me worse.
How's little Barky's paw, by the way?

Unity wrote: »

Unfortunately I think this tactic "What do you want me to do for you" is becoming much more widely used, because it puts the onus back on the patient and the patient is either not knowledgeable, or does not want to be the one to choose. If I were asked this, my reply would be: "What choices do I have" rather than "What do you suggest". Just the subtle difference in choice of words can get a much better result in terms of options.
Good luck with it.

UnluckyT I totally agree with Unity here - put the ball back in their court with "what are the options?" and hopefully they'll do something to help you.

Catkins Ow! Migraines are the absolute pits. I do totally understand where you're coming from. I don't have any words of wisdom re work (I was medically retired a decade ago). I do agree with Unity; see your GP again if the meds aren't doing what they should.

UN17ED

jazabelle wrote: »

You're being told to google it because you're asking what it is/questions about it. Why not just google it and find out what it is first. You can't be that bothered to find out - googling takes about two seconds. You could even just read the wiki page to get a general gist of it, or the NHS page which you know will be more reliable. Here, I'll take the difficult typing part of it out.

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/cognitive-behavioural-therapy/Pages/Introduction.aspx

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation/therapies/cognitivebehaviouraltherapy.aspx

People come here for support because of a difficult illness, not to spend time educating others.

I am well aware what people come on here for which is why I am here.
Thanks for the links but you cannot always rely on wiki as anyone can input things on there

juliescot

UN17ED wrote: »

I am well aware what people come on here for which is why I am here.
Thanks for the links but you cannot always rely on wiki as anyone can input things on there

Just as anyone can post anything on here which cannot be relied upon.;)

I would never rely on wikipedia but there are other links there too which are more authoritative.

jazabelle

I didn't say just rely on wiki, but it does give you a general jist of things. You can then follow on to other links, which will be more reputable - such as the other two I gave you.