Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?

System

I NEED to cry why can't i !!!!ing cry?

i'm 18 again

i've reverted back to my first year of uni

listening to depressing songs.and drinking

im sorry

mandi

Careful. I hope when you read this you feel a little better .:D

Messed Up ......... You need to Pm me ( your so like my sister ) and dont apologise for your posts .:D

Careful_with_that_Axe

Big 'ugs to you MessedUp. I read your first post and my first though was to ask you what you think triggered this, but you explained in your second post. At times when you feel like that, you need to find someone to lean on and talk to about how you are feeling - even if it's the Samaritans?

You've had a couple of days which have presented you with some possible big challenges ahead and you will need to take time to adjust your thinking to accept these.
mandi is right - please don't apologise for your posts or the way you are feeling - it's safe here to let it out.

Careful_with_that_Axe

I need to vent a little. I am really struggling at the moment.
Having a bit of a flare up health-wise and suffering increaseingly from hot flushes and night sweats. At the best of times, I struggle to stay cool enough to the extent that I keep thermometer in licing room to ensure it doesn't get too cold for health and for muscles to sieze up.
I've had to swap my duvet for summer weight one, all heating is turned off upstairs and bedroom window is wide open at night yet I'm still being woken roughly every hour at night and it's gone on for about a month now. Can't go on HRT as it's a contra-indication with other meds I'm on. I'm miserable.

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Hi all, sorry to hear that a lot of you are struggling at the moment. Big (((HUGS)))

crazy girl How did your appointment go?

Messed Up Sorry to hear you were feeling so low last night, how are you feeling today?

CWTA Sorry you're struggling right now, can your GP not change the meds that interact with HRT?

Sugar_Coated_Owl

I've not had a good 48 hours. I self-harmed quite badly on New Years Eve because the bad thoughts in my head didn't want me to be here and the only way to stop the thoughts was to cut and get the bad out. I went to the hospital on Sat. to get it seen to. They sorted out my arm but wouldn't let me leave until I'd seen the crisis team. I said I just wanted to go home but they said if I left they would call the police who would section me and take me straight to the psych. ward for an assessment. I chose to wait and ended up being there for 9 hours!

On Sunday I was feeling OK and saw the crisis team who came to my house. After they left I was still feeling alright but early in the evening anxiety took over, I was crying and shaking and ended up taking an overdose. I went to hospital where I stayed until yesterday.

I've seen my social worker this morning, she's contacting the duty psych. regarding medication as I'm not sure it's working. I'm not holding out much hope though as this particular psych. doesn't like me and I don't like her. Anyway, I feel a bit low but OK. I have no meds so will see how the day goes.

feelinggood_2

RBK, can you request a different Pysch? I've had more luck since I asked to see someone else.

UnluckyT

hi everyone, big hugs etc.
glad christmas been and gone.
feeling really low in myself at the mo.
part of the trouble is my half sister even at 22 wont stop saying that quite a lot of things id like to do and like ive copied of her. shes so convinsing at it plus despite hving words with her and mum she wont stop.
plus in part she seems to be a compulsive lair. some of the things she twists are umbelivable.
im at a loss.
and i darent tell mum how low i feel, the dark thoughts ive had, or that ive self harmed as i doubts she'd belive me and my sis would say im copying her and im lying.

LameWolf

Gentle ((((HUGS)))) to all my friends here; MU, CG, CwtA, RBK, UT and everyone else.

CwtA oh, I do so sympathise re the night sweats. I end up chucking the duvet off me, and the bottom sheet is soaking wet. Can't do much about it really; room has to be warm enough for Mr LW.

I'm feeling down today; my back is giving me mega-gyp, and I dread the thought of yet another year with this level of pain and fatigue. I'm at the end of the road re pain meds - all that can be done now is to up the dose of morphine, and I don't want to do that if I can help it (I can take twice the amount of sustained-release at my discretion) as I want something to fall back on later, if that makes sense.

Worse is the fatigue. 10 mins of light housework has me reeling. This is stupid. I can't keep the place clean and Mr LW looked after properly while I'm in this state. OK, he's an absolue gem, and doesn't mind what he has to do to help, but I want to be efficient at something, even if its only at being a housewife.:(

Don't worry, I'm not gonna do anything drastic, but I do feel that maybe next time around, I might be lucky enough to get a properly-functional body.

Off to get a dose of Oramorph now....:rolleyes:

Careful_with_that_Axe

Oh dear - fresh 'ugs all round.

lw You are a wonderful, warm, giving person - in act you are excellent at that! I'm sure Mr LW thinks so too. Please try not to be so hard on yourself.
How about upping the Morphone every other day just to get you through this bad patch. You can always hold the thought in your mind that it';s a temporary measure even if it takes some time to reduce it again. Sympathies - I know how you feel re upping meds - sometimes it feels like giving in when in fact it's the senmsible thing to do. We don't get any awards for putting up with pain!

RBK Major 'ugs lovey. I'm sorry you reached the point where you felt like doing something so drastic. At least it's alerted people to how low you are and hopefully you can get some support and move upwards from there. Please keep us in touch with how you are feeling and on a selfish note, I am pleased you weren't successful as you would be much missed if you weren't around even if it doesn't feel like that at the moment.