Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?

LameWolf

UnluckyT wrote: »

hello everyone, big hugs to everyone.
Im not too bad but could be better,im feelin quite lonely and down, still not heard about bieng assesed but will get onto the doctors.
Trouble is like many this time of year isnt the best and for me brings back lots of bad times.
Must admit it hard to live on your own and when you dont have many friends that then seem to back off or dissopear on you, it gets harder.

Awww, sweetie, there's so many have posted here about not much caring for this time of year. I'm with you on that one.
Must be frustrating, too, to still be waiting for assessment.
Like I said yesterday, roll on spring! (((HUG))) for you.

black_paw

big hugs to all

sandy71

Hi. I discharged myself from hospital today. I took all my keppra at once but the window cleaner saw me on the floor and alerted a neighbour with a key who in turn called an ambulance.
I spent 24 hours on a ventilator but am ok now. I told the doctor it was an accident, said I take so many meds I got confused. Dont know if he believed me. I'm so useless I can't even manage to kill myself properly.

I'm sorry if I worried you all, I should never have posted on here and you wouldn't have noticed I had gone. I will stay away from here now, you all have enough without me adding to it.

willa

Don't stay away on our account Sandy, I've only just started posting here but I think it helps us to read other posts and know we're not alone in how we feel. Thanks for letting us know how you are. :heart2:

crazy_girl

LameWolf wrote: »

I know it's not a vast amount of help, but here's a (((HUG))) for you, and well done on telling the doc the whole thing. I'll be thinking of you on Friday.

thanks LW x

how are you today?

crazy_girl

sandy71 wrote: »

Hi. I discharged myself from hospital today. I took all my keppra at once but the window cleaner saw me on the floor and alerted a neighbour with a key who in turn called an ambulance.
I spent 24 hours on a ventilator but am ok now. I told the doctor it was an accident, said I take so many meds I got confused. Dont know if he believed me. I'm so useless I can't even manage to kill myself properly.

I'm sorry if I worried you all, I should never have posted on here and you wouldn't have noticed I had gone. I will stay away from here now, you all have enough without me adding to it.

dont stay away please x im glad youre ok x

LameWolf

sandy71 wrote: »

Hi. I discharged myself from hospital today. I took all my keppra at once but the window cleaner saw me on the floor and alerted a neighbour with a key who in turn called an ambulance.
I spent 24 hours on a ventilator but am ok now. I told the doctor it was an accident, said I take so many meds I got confused. Dont know if he believed me. I'm so useless I can't even manage to kill myself properly.

I'm sorry if I worried you all, I should never have posted on here and you wouldn't have noticed I had gone. I will stay away from here now, you all have enough without me adding to it.

Oh Sandy, thanks be to every deity I can think of that you're alive! I felt awful, as I'd logged off probably just minutes before you posted, and the first I knew was when I came back online on Monday, and people were worrying about you. I just Googled Keppra, to know what drug you're talking about; please, PLEASE don't try anything like that again.

I don't know if it'd help to know that I've tried five times to take my own life, and five times I have been thrown back. I have come to the conclusion that I'm here for a purpose - and I'm just as sure that you also have a purpose; it just might not be terribly clear at this point.

Please don't turn away from us - I know we get the occasional unhelpful poster - it's a public forum, so it's statistically bound to happen sometimes - but by and large, we just want to help and be helped.

Gentle ((((HUGS)))) to you; be kind to yourself, and believe me when I tell you that you are a worthwhile person.

crazy_girl wrote: »

thanks LW x

how are you today?

Thanks CG, not too bad today - was very tired this morning after yet another rotten nightmare last night, but I've just made lavender bags out of offcuts from the kitchen curtains, so feeling that I've actually achieved something today.

Oh, and crying tears of relief (literally!) that Sandy is still with us.

Molly41

sandy71 wrote: »

Hi. I discharged myself from hospital today. I took all my keppra at once but the window cleaner saw me on the floor and alerted a neighbour with a key who in turn called an ambulance.
I spent 24 hours on a ventilator but am ok now. I told the doctor it was an accident, said I take so many meds I got confused. Dont know if he believed me. I'm so useless I can't even manage to kill myself properly.

I'm sorry if I worried you all, I should never have posted on here and you wouldn't have noticed I had gone. I will stay away from here now, you all have enough without me adding to it.

Please dont stay away from us. Yes we were worried but only because we care. I really hope that you are getting the help and support you need now and that this is a new beginning. Lots of hugs xxxx

jennihen

Hi sandy - glad you're back on-line. You did worry us all and, TBH, your post is quite worrying as well.
You say you discharged yourself - does that mean the hospital wanted you stay in a bit longer? Has your care been changed at all?
If you told the doctor it was an accident, which it clearly wasn't, how are they supposed to help you? Trust me, I'm not having a go - quite the opposite - I'm asking you this because its really hard for anyone to understand how an individual feels.
I find it helps to imagine all the crap is happening to my best friend and I'm there to help her (me really) with the best advice possible. It's my own little therapy and I call it 'being your own best friend!'
Prehaps you could start by asking yourself what sort of support you need just to make daily living more manageable? There is no magic cure, just like a paraplegic has to learn to walk again, you have to learn to live. Its goingto be hard and sometimes you'll have to push yourself to do things that are painful and hard but if you're up to the challenge we'll be here to support you.
JH x

We_Are_The_Mods

wow, just read some of the last few posts and my case seems trivial. I've not been at the suicide stage, although I quite regularly think I would prefer not to wake up in a morning. This may sound daft, especially when suicides are described as the ultimate cowards way out, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, I'm too much of a coward.

I wonder, is there any link to puberty and Depression? I was fine as a kid, typical little boy, but when puberty kicked in it was a complete mind fcuk and I don't think I've been sane since.

I sit here alone, never having had any friends since school and never being in a relationship of any sort, I don't like people, I don't like going outside, I don't enjoy anything. Work related stress triggered the worst bout I've ever had a few years ago and now stress or any thought of responsibilty turns me into a sweating jibbering wreck.

I've tried multiple SSRI's but none of them seem to do much, I think I expect too much from them, I was expecting a complete altered state of mind like being a different person or something.

I don't know what the future holds, but this year (my thirtieth) has been a grim one.

All the best to fellow sufferers.