Leaving Wife

H4ppyasLarry

I was in a similar position to you. My wife and I had been going through a really difficult time with our relationship so we decided to go on the marriage course.
<http://themarriagecourse.org/marriage/welcome/whatisit/default.htm&gt;
Two weeks before we were due to start the course, things were so bad that we decided to separate. However, as a last resort, I pleaded with my wife to still attend the course which she did. We have a two-year-old son so we wanted to do everything we could for his sake.
It was difficult at first but we got through it. It wasn't long until we really enjoyed attending each week. It was like going on a date - We got a lovely meal and then we watched a DVD. Next, we then did some exercises ourselves in private. The DVD presentation was excellent. It was amusing and informative.
The course was amazing and I couldn't believe what we learnt on it. It felt like we had discovered one of the secrets of the universe. My wife thinks now that it should be compulsory for every married coupled to attend this course!
If it wasn't for this course we would be divorced now. I would urge anyone married couple to attend this course. It is not soley intended for those who are having marriage difficulties but to any married couple no matter how long you’ve been married. One couple on our course were married for 2 years, the other 30 years).
It might be something worth thinking about?

Pssst

daphne_descends wrote: »

You're 37 with two children and have only now 'worked out what to do with my life'??

I cannot honestly believe people think if the OP was a woman she'd be favoured. Why is it acceptable for men to up and leave the family home and children? Women would be called all sorts of things 'terrible mothers' being the least of them.

Not on here they wouldnt.
The Amen corner fully supports a sister who leaves her husband.

Triggles

Not on here they wouldnt.
The Amen corner fully supports a sister who leaves her husband.

I don't agree with this. If the situation were reversed, and it was the wife posting on here saying she wanted to "move on" and there were no real problems, just didn't love him, I would be frustrated with her as well and I have no patience for anyone - male or female - that treats marriage so lightly, especially after 21 years. Nobody ever said marriage was easy, sometimes you have to work very hard at it.

As I said previously, the OP really needs to be discussing all this with his wife, a solicitor (for the legal aspects of the house and childcare arrangements) if he decides to go through with it. If I were the wife, I would be very hurt (not to mention offended) that my DH discussed this on a message board with a bunch of strangers rather than sitting down and discussing it with me like 2 rational adults. As we don't know all his financial information, mortgage details, and the like (and don't want to know, thanks!), we can't really give him any specific idea as to what options he has anyway. That's what solicitors get paid for. If he can afford £1000 per month mortgage, plus separate living expenses for himself, he can afford a 1 hour consult with a solicitor, surely.

AnnieM_3

Surely as long as the OP does make sure he continues to honour his legal and moral responsibilities to his kids and their mother, whether he leaves his wife is entirely up to him. Nobody should have to feel they must stay in a relationship that isn't working, even if the other person feels differently about it.

To the OP: Maybe couples counselling to see if there actually is something worth saving might be a good idea, if you just feel like the relationship is in a rut, or you have 'itchy feet' to live the life you never had when you were younger. That might also help your wife come to terms with it ending, if that's what has to happen. You do sound like you've made up your mind to leave though, so if that's what you do, just don't mess her about, and always make sure you do right by your kids.

Good luck to you and your family.

AnnieM

Mutter_2

I've no idea how to post the comparison, but just take a look at the first post from the OP and then then the second.

The first is full of grammatical and spelling errors. The second, near to perfect.

pink_princess

nerves maybe

Mutter_2

H4ppyasLarry wrote: »

I was in a similar position to you. My wife and I had been going through a really difficult time with our relationship so we decided to go on the marriage course.
<http://themarriagecourse.org/marriage/welcome/whatisit/default.htm&gt;
Two weeks before we were due to start the course, things were so bad that we decided to separate. However, as a last resort, I pleaded with my wife to still attend the course which she did. We have a two-year-old son so we wanted to do everything we could for his sake.
It was difficult at first but we got through it. It wasn't long until we really enjoyed attending each week. It was like going on a date - We got a lovely meal and then we watched a DVD. Next, we then did some exercises ourselves in private. The DVD presentation was excellent. It was amusing and informative.
The course was amazing and I couldn't believe what we learnt on it. It felt like we had discovered one of the secrets of the universe. My wife thinks now that it should be compulsory for every married coupled to attend this course!
If it wasn't for this course we would be divorced now. I would urge anyone married couple to attend this course. It is not soley intended for those who are having marriage difficulties but to any married couple no matter how long you’ve been married. One couple on our course were married for 2 years, the other 30 years).
It might be something worth thinking about?

Please re-print this in green, I am not allowed a Black pen. Thankyou.

Mutter_2

H4ppyasLarry wrote: »

I was in a similar position to you. My wife and I had been going through a really difficult time with our relationship so we decided to go on the marriage course.
<http://themarriagecourse.org/marriage/welcome/whatisit/default.htm&gt;
Two weeks before we were due to start the course, things were so bad that we decided to separate. However, as a last resort, I pleaded with my wife to still attend the course which she did. We have a two-year-old son so we wanted to do everything we could for his sake.
It was difficult at first but we got through it. It wasn't long until we really enjoyed attending each week. It was like going on a date - We got a lovely meal and then we watched a DVD. Next, we then did some exercises ourselves in private. The DVD presentation was excellent. It was amusing and informative.
The course was amazing and I couldn't believe what we learnt on it. It felt like we had discovered one of the secrets of the universe. My wife thinks now that it should be compulsory for every married coupled to attend this course!
If it wasn't for this course we would be divorced now. I would urge anyone married couple to attend this course. It is not soley intended for those who are having marriage difficulties but to any married couple no matter how long you’ve been married. One couple on our course were married for 2 years, the other 30 years).
It might be something worth thinking about?

I can copy and paste too. Shall I fetch an example? A charge sheet maybe?

Errata

Been married for 21 years but now I want to move on. No real problems

I hope the OP understands that the 12 year old will feel somewhat abandoned, however much contact is maintained.

Mutter_2

Mrnidgap wrote: »

I have worked out what I want to do with my life and I do not think a bungey jump will help

Go for it!
If the rope breaks, then all happy.
You get out, Mum and the kids are whooping for joy as they are insured.
Great score all round.