Worked for 20 years now staying home to bring up children - help

Oldernotwiser

Petite wrote: »

have paid enough taxes (largely at 40%) over the last 20 years and now I'm just finding out what I can get back to help support me during this time. If you think I am wrong to do that then you are entitled to your opinion.

Unfortunately this isn't the way that the benefits system works; your contributions will have been used at the time to support others. It's not a private pot for you to draw on!

Wornout mum has given you accurate advice on what you can claim; you're not eligible to claim JSA, whatever ill informed people have told you.

Petite

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Wornout mum has given you accurate advice on what you can claim; you're not eligible to claim JSA, whatever ill informed people have told you.

I understand that and it is as I thought and also fair enough. I was directing my comment at Marker who suggested I should be going back to work instead of claiming benefits.

Actually I thanked WornoutMUM for her incredibly useful info by pressing the thanks button. sorry it wasn't clear

Petite

If I decide later on down the line to seek work (say in two or three or even five years) will I then be able to claim JSA under the current rules ?

zippybungle

In answer to your question, no you won't be entitled to JSA (as you are not looking for a job).

I have worked from the age of 16 - 29 and have just finished my 12 months maternity leave

I had planned to go back to work (I am only part-time) but worked out that I would only be taking home approx £35 a week after paying Childcare fees for my 3 Children :eek: . (not including the costs of travelling to work and car parking :eek:)

My Husband earns a good wage, so we aren't entitled to much towards the cost of childcare fees (something like £10 a week).

I have asked my employer for a career break.

Zippy x

Oldernotwiser

Petite wrote: »

If I decide later on down the line to seek work (say in two or three or even five years) will I then be able to claim JSA under the current rules ?

By that time you'll be ineligible for contributions based JSA; your ability to get means tested JSA will depend on your husband's income at that point. If he's working full time, that will be unlikely.

wornoutmumoftwo

Petite,

I chose to stay at home with my children but we were fortunate, we had a mortgage in London, sold that and moved up to Scotland (my husband's home town), we were able to buy a small flat outright, If we'd had a mortgage I think I too would have gone to work out of necessity.

If you REALLY want to stay at home with your baby(ies), then it is a choice for you and your partner to make, dependent on your financial situation.

Sacrifices need to be made but you probably already know that - I never go out anyway, well perhaps once a year - I made friends at baby and toddler groups, we can't afford expensive things and we have a strict budget.

We have debts because of a period of unemployment, these are almost paid off now, and my husband has permanent employment so we're ok for now (touch wood).

I found that my child tax credits jumped up quite a bit when I had my second child, but I think that is because I was working with my first and got about £10 a week back then, it jumped up to £70 when we were on one salary.

You get get CB and CTC paid weekly, which I find better to manage then the four weekly payments.

We have had a difficult 5 years because I chose not to work, but where we have struggled financially, or scarificed things we used to enjoy it has been more then made up by the enjoyment of raising my children.

My two are 5&6 now and my youngest will be starting school in August, at which point I shall return to work, though only part time as I want to drop off/collect them as my mum did for me.

Deb_in_Devon

Hi Petite

We chose for me to stay at home while our children grew up. They are now 11 and 13 and the biggest difference I have noticed between our children and their friends, is that ours Know how to wait for things until we have saved up for them and can't have everything straight away. They also feel loved and wanted, whereas some of their friends whose parents work don't. I'm not saying parents wo work don't love their children its just the way our childrens friends feel.

Deb

bellrooster

Hi Petite

If you have decided that you want to stay at home and look after your children then you do just that! the first few years of a childs life are magical! I have loved every minute of watching my daughter grow up (she's just turned 3) and it's worth every financial sacrifice we've made for me to be able to do so!

I would take with a pinch of salt comments about kids turn out fine if they're looked after by nannies, nurseries - I'm 100% sure they do and the same for kids looked after full time by their own parents. It's not about that, it's about what's right for you! Happy parent generally = Happy child!

duchy

Deb_in_Devon wrote: »

Hi Petite

We chose for me to stay at home while our children grew up. They are now 11 and 13 and the biggest difference I have noticed between our children and their friends, is that ours Know how to wait for things until we have saved up for them and can't have everything straight away. They also feel loved and wanted, whereas some of their friends whose parents work don't. I'm not saying parents wo work don't love their children its just the way our childrens friends feel.

Deb

What a nasty and ignorent post.
There are plenty of stay at home parents who don't give a stuff about their children and plenty of working parents who love their children dearly -and lots who fall in between. It is something you can't generalize about.

As for the OP feeling that all her friends with kids go back to work-it's funny because when you stay at home you end up meeting more parents who have made the stay at home choice........and then you wonder why you never met them before

For me I found the balance was to work part-time-enough hours to make it financially worthwhile but not enough to become a major life-focus-and definitely jobs without much travelling-motherhood definitely cured me of commuting to London as my time spent travelling was time away from my child and so much more precious than when I was childless

I now work from home and it's perfect for me at this point in my life (My son is a teenager but has a disability so I'm needed at home more than the "average" Mum) and I actually work more paid hours than I would do if I had to add commute time and fares on. I love the fact I can take a break -and put dinner on or empty the breadmaker-or load the tumble dryer or whatever and then go back to work-and then when I finish those jobs are already done and my time is mine and my family's and my commute is all of 20 seconds.

tinkerbell84

Petite wrote: »

My husband and I thought long and hard before we took this descision and after living affluently on joint incomes for the last 20 years we are now cutting back and economising to afford to do this. Hence my using this site. Okay I am claiming some benefits but I feel I have paid enough taxes (largely at 40%) over the last 20 years and now I'm just finding out what I can get back to help support me during this time. If you think I am wrong to do that then you are entitled to your opinion. My Husband and I are happy knowing that we can take full responsibility for how our children turn out in the future.

Erm, you've earned more than £40k for 20 years (plus whatever your husband earns) and you don't have savings to be able to afford 2 children? :eek:

How affluent was your lifestyle?!