The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 2

Pippilongstocking

Firstly (edited in sorry about the monologue) please just skip ahead if this is jibberish.

Re advice and stuff about meds/organic remedies
I think its difficult isnt it - cos we all want to share but like you have all said (and E) its not meant to sound like giving advice - and I do remember quite often one of us saying = check with your pharmacist/gp before when folks have asked about specifics.

I think whatever is needed to make sure the thread keeps on is a priority - and happy to adhere to best practise

GC I can see what you are saying as well - and think BB had some good postivie points too - as a regular poster (myself) - and a regular struggler (I have to say big struggler) I want somehow to get on top of things - I don't see myself as being successful at this - just keep lots of your advice in my head about:

just dont drink this hour
or just don' t drink today
or don't drink until later
don't have it in the house

Or as well in my case
- try not to drink on your own

- but as others have said (me included) rejigging how you are - ie not drinking - makes life alter somewhat and I have to say for one thing - there is so much more of it (life that is)

Often I don't feel chuffed with myself (as I dont think I should really be drinking to begin with) I just feel a bit OK well I am not drinking as much - the underlying reasons haven't shifted yet but the vicious circle of the compounded affects of alcohol are beginning to slow down a bit (taking each day as it comes) so how do I make this bit more normal. (ie no paranoia, self loathing, wondering what I have done, what scene I have created, what I have neglected by drinking and not being so on the ball with my life and loved ones) IE WHAT DID I MISS OR POTENTIALLY CAUSE COS I WAS DRINKING....?

I guess I am wondering what do I want to gain/shift to make the alcohol circle seem unattractive to me - if I can each day tackle breaking the habit of it - how do I recondition myself to not want it or think about it. How do I help myself to adjust my perspective and keep on the 'straight and narrow' or does that feeling never go?

Which I think is where BB is trying to come from........???

In real life I am quite random - so if you don't understand = dont worry I dont know that I do.

As E, GC, B, RA and MP says it is baffling the relationship we form with alcohol.

mollypolly

fayjmck wrote: »

I guess I am wondering what do I want to gain/shift to make the alcohol circle seem unattractive to me - if I can each day tackle breaking the habit of it - how do I recondition myself to not want it or think about it. How do I help myself to adjust my perspective and keep on the 'straight and narrow' or does that feeling never go?

As E, GC, B, RA and MP says it is baffling the relationship we form with alcohol.

Fay....what I have gained is knowing and remembering what I have done every day and night......no more lost minutes or worrying what did I say/do.The knowledge that I will never have another hangover is fab.
I find that the more people I tell that I dont drink the better as this reinforces it in my mind as well.
I dont know if the 'thinking about alcohol' will ever completely go away, but now it is mostly a fleeting thought and it doesnt trouble me too much.
If you do decide to stop completely it really does get easier.
So good luck my friend;)

Budgie...glad to have you back.

Well done to everyone else cutting down/giving up.
Remember...take care of you.
Love Mollypollyxxxx

maman

9AF,please HS.

I will reach my target tomorrow and then that's it for me until May. It's definitely getting easier but I really miss the 'idea' of having a glass of wine more than the actual drinking. It sounds crazy to me too and I'm not proud of it but it's a sort of lifestyle thing.

BB, sorry to hear you aren't feeling too good. I'm happy to go with the xtra challenges next month. Personally I'd like to challenge myself to walk regularly for exercise. I did so well back in January but I've got quite lazy lately. I'm disappointed that I haven't lost weight since cutting down (I don't actually weigh I just know from my clothes). I definitely haven't been snacking or substituting full-fat pop so I think if I combined the cutting down on calories with more exercise it might help. I'm not that fussed if we make it a public commitment but I shall be doing it anyway. 'night all.

115K

10 days AF for me as of yesterday.

Hope you guys are all alright.:A

Bismarck

THE MAN IN THE GLASS

by Dale Wimbrow

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself
And see what THAT man has to say.

For it isn't your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

Some people may think you a straight-shootin' chum
And call you a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.

He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of life
And get pats on your back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass.

lillibet_dripping

Morning all!
Bismarck - so true, so true. Thank you - you have given me lots to think on this morning.

Sadly, not an AF for me yesterday. However, I am still pleased that it was very much a cutting down day. I am finding that I just don't want more than a glass or two. It seems to quieten the 'bells'. As others on here have said, small steps.... (or as DD would say 'slow and steady wins the race' - guess which fable they are studying in English!!!)

I know that I won't hit my target this month, but as this is only my first real attempt, I am still thrilled to bits that cutting down has been the first step.

Next month however - WATCH OUT!!!!
x

Different_Corner

Good Morning
I've been lurking again for the past few days because somewhere in my mind I know things are not right. I've had a drink every single day since the other side of Mother's Day. Until last night. And did I notice the difference ? The soundest night's sleep since I don't know when.

Anyway the reason I'm back is partly due to BB's post about little changes and motivations. Coupled with reading Tony Robbins - Awaken the Giant (not everyone's cup of tea I know). And something hit home in the first couple of chapters about raising my standards. Then Bismarks poem this morning.

So I am raising the bar (bad pun sorry) off the alcohol, expecting more of myself, this life is all down to me. I'm approaching a very sad anniversary and can either wallow in it with self pity and stella or be thankful for what I do have.

Thanks for your motivational posts everyone, I see so much of me in many posts, and all though I'm like a yoyo on this thread fact is I know that I need and want to do this.

Wanna_Bee_Free

Lots of thought provoking posts and I haven't had enough caffeine yet.

AFD for me yesterday so 7/10 please Happy Shopper.

I am trying to lose weight as well and would love to lose half a stone in May. I have given a lot of thought to the issue of taking too much on at once, as it's one of my failings with all sorts of areas of life. I've been finding that thinking so much about what I'm eating and drinking is leading me to fall off the wagon from time to time food wise, eating stuff I don't plan to. But I often fall off the food wagon much more spectacularly once I've had some alcohol; the fridge or passing shop or whatever just gets attacked. I started trying to drink the extra 1.5 litres of water when Jo did but haven't been tracking that the last few days. I think that part of my change process with alcohol is acceptance of my current, imperfect self rather than my old cycle of perfect, then one mistake or bad day = imperfect followed by beating myself up over not being good enough.

I personally would be happy if we do go for this idea in May. I would like to join in with a weight loss related challenge. On balance I am not hitting the lows about falling off the wagon that I used to. But I understand GC's concerns - if it's a bad day booze wise and I also fail on my being a better me challenge there is even more potential for self loathing etc starting the drinking to obliterate cycle off again.

Right, I need to stay on this wagon for three more days to hit my April target. Have a good day all.

40somethingmum

Morning all

Just a quick one- running late. Another AFD for me yesterday ( now 16 in total) Wow that means for half the month I have not been drinking:j
but the other half

Budgie I love your ideas on improving ourselves etc I will give some thought today and catch up later.

Have a great day everyone.

40SM

fluffyb

Yooohooo everyone :hello:

Hope you are all ok.

I can see what GC is trying to say, but I also agree with everyone else too and I like BB's idea for May.

I meant to say last night - if you are going for losing weight in May, it makes not drinking easier too. On nights when I have wanted to drink on my AFD's I tell myself 'fine,I can, but it will affect my weight loss efforts, so it isn't worth it' In other words, I tell myself on nights when it is hard not to have a drink that the reason I am not drinking is to lose more weight not because I drank too much IYSWIM

My first month of trying the AF challenge was only last month [March] so it was a big thing for me as I'd failed so many times before, but even though it was my first month at trying to have some AFD's I also set myself the challenge of losing half a stone. I got a huge buzz and a raised self esteem by exceeding my first ever AF target AND losing 8 pounds in the same month [no not all due to alcohol :rotfl:a lot of effort and exercise was involved too ] So it can be done and self esteem is something a lot of us are low on, right? So anything that makes us feel better about ourselves has to be a good and positive thing IMHO

Have a good day everyone xx