The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 2

Lurkio

jo1972 wrote: »

Morning all,

I think congratulations are in order for quite a few people on this thread and thanks to Lurky for coming up with the idea in the first place (it was you lurky wasn't it??). I went along quite happily for years and years drinking away everynight without it even occurring to me that I might find it difficult to have an AFD. Then after the many many years of drinking I decided to have an AFD how hard it was and boy was I shocked!! Since then I feel like I've been chasing that wagon, sometimes clinging on by my fingernails, occassionally getting on and promptly falling off again and yet again chasing, it's tiring, very tiring, just want it all to end and wished to God that I realised so very much sooner how difficult it was going to be cos then I might not find it as difficult as I do.

Gotta go work, speak to you all later

xx

yeah - it was a throwaway comment I made that I was going to try and be AF in J......... look what happened!!! :eek: :eek: :eek:


All power to you Jo. The help and support you give others on here is awesome. Very selfless.

Dust yourself down and try for, say, half of Feb

yellowmonkey

Hi

Echo what Jo has just said :T

AFD for me last night. I have been thinking long and hard for Feb target and have decided NOT to have a target. I will take each day as it comes and see how I go.

Hope that is OK

I think we have all got something out of this and long may it continue

Oh Morning by the way

ym

*Mari*

Morning guys

Apologies for being AWOL for a while, no excuses really just fell off the wagon big time got half way through the Allan Carr book and paniced!! So am still on 10 AF days for Jan which if I put a positive spin on it is better than I've done for years and years Am feeling a bit stronger now and really want to see the rest of the month out AF and then in Feb go for the no WOMO clause and also try and stick to only having a drink Fri/Sat if I really feel the need.

You all give so much on this thread and it is so good to not feel alone and be able to share worries and frustrations, THANK YOU ALL so much I really don't think I'd have got this far without you all

Anyway well done everyone who has cut down or abstained it can only be better than what we were all doing before :T

Have a good day and I'll check in later,

Mari

PS Winebox can you put me down for 20 AFD in Feb please

Former_Spice

AF Tuesday for me, so that makes 14. Congrats to all of you who are making your target.

Andraste

Morning all!

Another AF day for me yesterday, so that's me on 10/31. After perusing the calendar, I'm going to set my target for February at 16/28, leaving me Fri/Sat/Sun nights to have a drink if I feel so inclined.

I'm finding something of a pattern emerging as far as drinking at weekends goes. With not having had any alcohol during the week, it feels rather strange to have a drink on Friday night, almost as though I really shouldn't be doing it. And when DH has handed me a drink (cos it's usually at his prompting, at least on Fridays), it sits there for ages before I actually drink it and seems to last half the night.

I know I'm a couple of weeks behind a lot of you in terms of how you feel/sleep without the booze, but wow, doesn't it make a difference! I can get up in the morning, it doesn't take till lunchtime for my head to clear, my skin looks better than it has for years and my eyes look clearer. The bank balance is looking healthier and the recycling guy doesn't end up with sciatica after lifting my bottles and cans every week!

And on that happy note, I'm going to get on with some work before my boss wanders over to see what I'm up to! Hope everyone has a good day!

eselt

Hi all- 26/27 for me please Lurky, and a (semi- confident...but you never know....?) 28/28 days target for feb. Good to see you are back and posting Jo, we need your input here, you always say something that makes me think long and hard about this difficult journey.

Found out something interesting today- when we were little we never knew anything much about my dads side of the family because my grandad was a violent alcoholic and my dad left home at 16 and never really had much to do with him again- anyway, was talking to a cousin of my dads and she told me that as far as she can remember my grandad, greatgrandad, greatgreatgrandad etc etc had all been hopeless alcoholics. Can there really be a genetic base to this disease? And if so why me and not my sisters or my dad? I'd be really interested to know if anyone has read any research on this? I don't think I could have learnt this behaviour because my parents never drank much, and I never met the drunks in the family. I do worry about my kids starting to drink- no signs yet, but as they get older I'm sure they'll experiment and I want to warn them about drinking without frightening them or being over dramatic...mind you my drinking scared them half to death so perhaps they have already formed their opinions on drinking.

Hope everyone is OK today, hopefully the challenges you have set are within reach, and even if they are not the fact you are all tackling this should make you very proud of yourselves- even if to others it looks easy, I know its not...its not simple, in fact its the hardest thing I've ever done. Take care.

graemecarter

eselt wrote: »

Hi all- 26/27 for me please Lurky, and a (semi- confident...but you never know....?) 28/28 days target for feb. Good to see you are back and posting Jo, we need your input here, you always say something that makes me think long and hard about this difficult journey.

Found out something interesting today- when we were little we never knew anything much about my dads side of the family because my grandad was a violent alcoholic and my dad left home at 16 and never really had much to do with him again- anyway, was talking to a cousin of my dads and she told me that as far as she can remember my grandad, greatgrandad, greatgreatgrandad etc etc had all been hopeless alcoholics. Can there really be a genetic base to this disease? And if so why me and not my sisters or my dad? I'd be really interested to know if anyone has read any research on this? I don't think I could have learnt this behaviour because my parents never drank much, and I never met the drunks in the family. I do worry about my kids starting to drink- no signs yet, but as they get older I'm sure they'll experiment and I want to warn them about drinking without frightening them or being over dramatic...mind you my drinking scared them half to death so perhaps they have already formed their opinions on drinking.

Hope everyone is OK today, hopefully the challenges you have set are within reach, and even if they are not the fact you are all tackling this should make you very proud of yourselves- even if to others it looks easy, I know its not...its not simple, in fact its the hardest thing I've ever done. Take care.

I am sure there is a genetic element to this disease. Most people in AA has at least one parent who is alcoholic, and virtually everyone in AA has a grandparent who was an alcoholic. However, some people only find out about how much their family drank when they are dead, as many alcoholics have elaborate cover up stories.
'Alcoholic' is difficult for the medical establishment to define. It is much more complicated than units drunk. You don't have to be addicted to alcohol to be alcoholic. To me it is a state of mind that is defined by certain behaviours.
I worry about my kids a bit, I think my youngest (2 yrs) has certain traits already........but then there is me projecting into the future and catastrophising everything (another alcohoic trait)

Good luck eselt, and to everyone else.
One day at a time people - just don't drink today. Tomorrow is a new day, but let's keep our lives in this 24 hr period

biscotte

Morning all,
i'm feeling terrible this morning - I've started a cold and also sat up late last night with our guests drinking red wine. So I just feel drained and quite a large amount of that is the wine I'm sure.

I've decided that I will try an alcohol free february and do every day AF, 28/28. I need to know that I can. i have very weak will power so will be checking in here a lot i think!!!

Eselt, as far as there being an genetic basis to alcoholism I seem to remember reading something about it running in families and it not just being a behavioural and cultural phenomenon, suggesting a hard wired basis for alcoholism. Some research has identified some gene groups that may have a role to play but the mechanism is unclear. An even in the event of there being one or 'several' alcoholic genes' then it probably predisposes you to alcoholic behaviour rather than it being a sure fire thing you'll be alcoholic so you're not automatically doomed.

As to the question as to why you and not your Dad or Sister, genetics and the inheritance of traits is really complex and subtle in general. There are cases where single genes control huge changes (I'm thinking Huntington's choria type of thing) but it seems that most things are much more complicated and it's just a question of the mixing of various genes during egg and sperm formation and hoping you have the luck to end up with the 'good' ones in your particular embryo!.

As far as your kids are concerned, just hope that they learn from your mistakes (what's the chance of that?) and remember that they are only getting half of your genes so have a look at their Dad - what's he like on the booze front? then I think a lot of it is down to education and talking to them about the risks of alcohol - and that's true for all of us parents.

Have a good day

eselt

Wow graham and biscotte- thanks for those posts, certainly gives me food for thought. Just gotta break the chain now by making sure my kids are prepared for a future where alcohol is all around them, but they have a sensible and healthy approach to the stuff and don't abuse it, or themselves.

jo1972

Just been reading an interesting website and this was on there:

Family History
First-degree relatives (children, siblings or parents) of alcoholics have been estimated to have a seven times greater chance of developing alcoholism. The male relatives of male alcoholics are at particularly high risk, with the expectancy of becoming an alcoholic ranging from 20% to 50%. It appears that this risk factor is not just genetic; growing up with an alcoholic parent contributes to a person's drinking behavior.

Have a look at the link and the 3 other page links on the top left, interesting reading...

Clicky