The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 2

graemecarter

polaroid wrote: »

GC i completely appreciate your posts; but i really hope it puts no one off. we are on different journeys; and maybe they are right and maybe they are wrong. i dont know, and as we are people speaking to each other on a thread thats as far as it gets. i look around in my every day life and see so many people with alchohol problems that they dont even realise they have and i am just grateful that i have found support here. i am dont want to stop drinking forever, to be completely honest i am afraid of the thought of shutting it out completely; but been on here has helped me address a huge part of life that was/is wrong and i really think it has helped others in that way too.
i am sorry, i just took offence to the "soon every one will be back to their old ways" not necessarily, it doesnt have to be like that.
i completely respect what you have been through but to me if some says they want to stop drinking one day a week or every single day, it doesnt matter - it is always going to be a battle.

sorry for rambling just got a bit ..(need a glass of wine...iykwim)

I hope no-one is put off by my posts too, and we are on different journeys but we share many experiences, and common strands come through all the time. If you think maybe my posts are right and maybe they are wrong, then they are doing the correct thing. They may challenge you, and reveal uncomfortable truths, but we have to be honest with ourselves. Telling each other what we want to hear is not always useful.
I'm glad that being on this thread has helped you. That is the joy of group support - we are here to help each other.

If you re-read my post, I cleary say that "Some people will be back drinking their pre-January levels before long."
I never said everyone as far as I can tell, and if I did, I apologise. Perhaps you mis-read my post.

If you think that no-one will be back drinking at their normal levels when January ends, I wish I could share your optimism. Some people will cut down forever, some may stop drinking forever, and some will carry on drinking the same. I think that is unavoidable.

My point is that it doesn't have to be a battle all the time. If one wants to change ones drinking habits, one may have to look at why one feels the need to drink so much. ie what is about ones character that one resorts to alcohol? This is not a criticism - I turned to alcohol for years until I was willing to change. And now I don't have the urge to drink because I have changed.

I am 17 days without a cigarette, and it has reminded me how hard giving something up is, so all credit to people who are giving up or cutting down. :T :T

Patchoulli

miamoo wrote: »

Tonight didn't go exactly as planned, we have shared the wine which was left (I was meant to be AF tonight) I have a feeling drinking at the weekend is going to be harder than I thought. Pathoulli I would love to know how you get on with drinking at the weekend only, as thats my goal.

Hi Miamoo:hello:

I agree that just drinking at the weekend may be hard to achieve - because when I wasn't drinking at the weekend, I just treated it like the weekday evenings, but now, having an allowance of half a bottle is lovely, but needs loads of willpower.

I drank the rest of my bottle last night, and it was lovely. And yes, if I had another bottle in the house, I am 99% sure that I would have opened it, but because there wasn't any more, I must made myself a hot choccy and that was fine.

Tonight will be the test - hubby will probably have a glass of red, and I have to return to the AF Becks after two nights of a glass or two of wine.

I'll let you know how it goes....

GC - I totally agree that we all have to address the reasons why we drink to excess, and until we address the underlying cause, we can't really conquer the control the demon drink has over us. But small steps, eh? Our livers are feeling the benefit of less drinking I'm sure, and when we are generally more clear-headed, I'm sure we can then start on the journey to find out our underlying cause. I know exactly what happened in my past to make me reach for the bottle too often, but facing that is painful and difficult. Yes, some people may well start drinking more again, but if they do, that isn't because they've failed, its because they are trying to do something that is both frightening and for a long time, unknown. It takes courage to stop drinking - to see our lives clearly.
I think help and support on here is invaluable. I'm not having a go at you, because you're right - but please don't take offence, I think most of us know what you're saying, we know the statistics, but we want to help each other, and having someone give us a "reality check" isn't really helpful, because we know the reality, believe me.

As I say, we're all on a journey, its difficult, and sometimes we're going to get lost and have to find our bearings - but one day at time. Good luck to you and everyone.

X

jo1972

Morning all

GC, I love your posts and agree that there will be many people not necessarily posting but maybe lurking that is doing the challenge just for January but they know in their heart of hearts that really they should be doing it forever, but just sticking to January then may or maybe not succeed then think 'that's it, I'm cured!!' then go back to their old ways till maybe next January. I think I am like this, I definately need to change my thinking and how I cope at life without the crutch. I know what I need to do and know what I want to achieve but am stuck finding the way to do it. If you have any advice it would be truely grateful.

Bis, your post struck a chord with me about coming out of the shop with the 'right' bottle. It is so easy to come out with the wrong one, no matter how long you've been off the wrong bottle, there is always that habitual 'shall I just have one' thought that creeps up when you least expect it. I hope you continue with your strong attitude and keep gee'ing us up!!

Gotta go quick, cos at work, but be back in a mo

Needstochange

polaroid wrote: »

GC i completely appreciate your posts; but i really hope it puts no one off. we are on different journeys; and maybe they are right and maybe they are wrong. i dont know, and as we are people speaking to each other on a thread thats as far as it gets. i look around in my every day life and see so many people with alchohol problems that they dont even realise they have and i am just grateful that i have found support here. i am dont want to stop drinking forever, to be completely honest i am afraid of the thought of shutting it out completely; but been on here has helped me address a huge part of life that was/is wrong and i really think it has helped others in that way too.
i am sorry, i just took offence to the "soon every one will be back to their old ways" not necessarily, it doesnt have to be like that.
i completely respect what you have been through but to me if some says they want to stop drinking one day a week or every single day, it doesnt matter - it is always going to be a battle.

sorry for rambling just got a bit ..(need a glass of wine...iykwim)

:T :T :T Totally agree and you said it better than I would;) :T :T :T

maman Love your term "wagonette"!!! We are being towed by the giving upers I guess and its great to get their views and support when things are tough.:T

Had a lovely meal out yesterday and enjoyed my glass of very nice red. For me this challenge has shown me how my drinking had started to become much more about habit and lots of triggers than about enjoying alcohol for what it is. I am very fortunate in that overall I have been able to face those habit moments face on and choose not to drink. I don't think I will ever say I only ever drink at the weekend as there have been weekends this month when I haven't drunk and Thursdays where I have because of occasions. I guess the goverment guidelines on safe limits are useful and I know if I was drinking 14 units a week (at the moment its less:D ) I would be comfortable with that so I think that will be my February challenge.

Lurkio

as at 18th...

1 - Lurkio (target 31/31) - Actual 17
2 - jo1972 (target 31/31) - Actual 8
3 - Needstochange (target 15/31) - Actual 11
4 - Miss Piggy (target 31/31) - Actual 7
5 - Mollypolly (target 31/31) - Actual 16
6 - winebox (target 15/31, WOMO clause) - Actual 8
7 - eselt (target 31/31) - Actual 15
8 - *Mari* (target 31/31) - Actual 8
9 - Grey Pilgrim (target 31/31) - Actual 16
10 - 115K (target 10/31) - Actual 12 target achieved on 15th :j :j
11 - jjef (target 25/31) - Actual 10
12 - the rugby coach (target 25/31) - Actual 15
13 - yellow monkey (target 30/31) - Actual 16
14 - Bismarck (target 31/31) - Actual 17
15 - beckseven (target 31/31) - Actual 6
16 - barshamhillbilly (target Reduction therapy) - Actual On Target
17 - happyshopper (target 28/31) - Actual 16
18 - Nessa56 (possible ) - Actual 3
19 - miamoo (target 31/31) - Actual 15
20 - Mrs Lurkio (target 27/31) - Actual 13
21 - polaroid (target 31/31) - Actual 13
22 - paybacktime2008(target 25/31) - Actual 15
23 - budget babe(target 31/31) - Actual 17
24 - lillibet dripping (target 20/31) - Actual 4
25 - biscotte (target 25/31) - Actual 11
26 - fayjmck (target 26/31) - Actual 9
27 - fedupandskint (target 21/31) - Actual 6
28 - maman (target 13/31) - Actual 7
29 - Former Spice (target 28/31) - Actual 10
30 - Andraste (target 11/31) - Actual 3



Post by Spring Watch Girl:

"Well, week 5 of no alcohol and I see a different person in the mirror. My eyes no longer look dull and vacant, they actually have a little sparkle and my skin doesn't look like uncooked pastry anymore. I feel that I have won a battle but not yet the war. Hope everyone else is at the point they want to be, I never want to be that person I was, I have been tempted but I just think back to what I had become. The sun is shining at the moment and I feel good and want to continue to have the sun in my life."




Well in to the second half of the challenge and I must say how impressed I am with the amount of people sticking with/climbing straight back on!!!

We ARE greater than the sum of our parts.. fantastic achievement, everyone

yellowmonkey

Morning all

I do agree with GC's posts and some valid points are made. Well done on the smoking by the way

Hope you all have a super Sunday. 16 free days for me now and does not feel to bad at all.

Have a great Sunday

ym

bellrooster

Morning folks..

I was just having a read through this morning and I found yesterdays posts really interesting. I know I sort of hopped on the wagon last week and haven't realy said anything - but I am reading through all the time, it's just so far I haven't really known what to say

This week at first, I thought I'd totally failed with giving up - I was so determmined on Monday that I would NEVER drink again. In all honesty, this week I've drunk 2 bottles of wine. 2, and that's why I thought I'd failed, but then I counted up what I would've drunk in a normal week and realised that at least twice a week I would've drunk 2 bottles in 1 night. So I've cut down, I don't know if this means I'm learning to restrict my drinking or that I'm weaning myself off it. (why don't I know!! :mad: ).

This place is amazing, and from a lurkers perspective, you don't even have to post yourself to feel supported .. it's brill :T

yellowmonkey

Today I am mostly chilling to Pink Floyd

ym

jo1972

yellowmonkey wrote: »

Today I am mostly chilling to Pink Floyd

ym

And trying out some new smilies :rotfl:

yellowmonkey

Indeed Jo. Hows you ?

ym