Boyfriend moving in how do I protect my home?

ceridwen

Well...I see it from his point of view. If I were him I would be outraged/thoroughly upset to be treated in any way as a "lodger".

I also see it from O.P.'s viewpoint - the risk of him turning thief and using the law to steal a bit of her house equity if the relationship breaks up.

I really dont know what the answer to this is. I guess a pre-nuptial agreement is the best way to go (but not foolproof even so). I have the feeling that people are "allowed" to live together for 2 years before the law starts allowing one to steal from the other if the relationship breaks up - horrible visions of someone not quite sure about their O.H. having to tell them to move out at 1 year, 364 days.....just in case:cool: . The older I get the more convinced I am that the vast majority of us have to "hide" part of what we are from the vast majority of people....because if we didnt then the amount of "trouble" that would ensue would cause an awful lot of hassle (even if what we are as a person in no way breaks the law) - so, with this, I am quite sure that it will be the rare person that we could hope to know fully enough to know that we could totally trust them no matter what.

It is a horrible situation that the current state of the law leaves us all in.

For myself - first of all I lived in a "state of fear" in case I fell in love with someone and them with me....in case either of us became unemployed subsequently and the D.W.P. wouldnt hand over the benefits due to the unemployed one of us on the excuse that we were a couple. Then I lived in a "state of fear" when my father pointed out to me the second I bought a house that if I lived with someone and it broke up they might try to "nick" some of my house off me (a nasty fact I had realised anyway).

It seriously should not be this way. Relationships should be relationships. Money should be money. Never the twain should meet - just because the D.W.P. or the law says so.

Boy - am I glad I never did have that mutual love relationship ....all the financial hassles that Society promptly lands on your plate if that happens and things go wrong:eek: .

Just how the hell ARE we supposed to fall in love/marry (well...in this day and age...maybe live together) and live happily ever after in these circumstances? I never did work out the answer to that one.

Good luck - I hope you work it out.

rheme

Have a look on here.

http://www.lawontheweb.co.uk/basics/cohabit.htm

I believe the situation under Scottish law is different and that the current English government are looking to make reforms to the existing position to make it possible for a cohabiting partner to make a claim against property rights and other assets e.g. pension schemes, bank balances, etc. in the future. These reforms are currently on hold whilst they establish how much it might potentially cost in legal aid claims.

So whilst not being able to claim at the moment unless there has been a verbal or written agreement that there would be some entitlement or that there has been some investment into the property e.g. deposit, paying for extension, etc. you would need to keep your eyes and ears open for changes to government legislation.

More immediately though make sure you have a will.

Errata

A Deed of Trust covering the two parties legally sorts out who has what and who gets what if the co-habiting relationship ends.

Just like a pre-nuptial agreement would if they were legal instruments.

Any woman with property would be wise to suggest having one drawn up before the man in her life moves in with her. His reaction will say a lot about both the kind of man he is and their relationship.

Ember999

Used to be a lot simpler when people simply got married when they wanted to live with someone. I wonder why so many choose to live together rather than get married? It was so much simpler then...

Ember999

shaven-monkey wrote: »

well... yes i see it from his point of view, he gets to live with a wonderful woman of his dreams. He only gets made homeless if he leaves the toilet seat up.

Exactly - should she have the right to make him homeless just because he commits a minor misdemeanour? she could literally throw him out on a whim - what is he to do then? be on the streets? Poor guy wants to make sure he panders to her totally else he might lose his home? Can people not see why this is so unfair on him?

Ember999

rheme wrote: »

Have a look on here.

http://www.lawontheweb.co.uk/basics/cohabit.htm

I believe the situation under Scottish law is different and that the current English government are looking to make reforms to the existing position to make it possible for a cohabiting partner to make a claim against property rights and other assets e.g. pension schemes, bank balances, etc. in the future. These reforms are currently on hold whilst they establish how much it might potentially cost in legal aid claims.

So whilst not being able to claim at the moment unless there has been a verbal or written agreement that there would be some entitlement or that there has been some investment into the property e.g. deposit, paying for extension, etc. you would need to keep your eyes and ears open for changes to government legislation.

More immediately though make sure you have a will.

Scottish law is as it should be - all parties in a home have rights, regardless of them being married or not. This law protects women who men want to live with and then try to throw out when they don't want to play house any more! I will be glad when this law is the same in England - it protects all the women who have been treated unfairly by a man when they lived with them and lost everything when the man wanted to move on...

Errata

He can walk out if she commits a minor misdemeanour - what's the difference

Ember999

Errata wrote: »

He can walk out if she commits a minor misdemeanour - what's the difference

He can be thrown out, she can't - big difference

Oldernotwiser

Ember999 wrote: »

He can be thrown out, she can't - big difference

Her house, her rules. Seems fair enough to me.

Errata

Probably her sofa, bed, pots and pans as well.