Boyfriend moving in how do I protect my home?

mr_skinflint

If you don't have complete trust in him from the outset (which you obviously don't as you wouldn't be asking this question) then don't let him move in yet. I think you need to be on a much more solid ground with each other before you make the commitment. You'll know when it's the right time and that'll be when you're not after advice from us lot.

Oldernotwiser

3plus1 wrote: »

I'd rather lose out on the money for a damn good shot at happiness - there's no joy in sitting on top of a pile of gold all by yourself. Some things are worth taking a risk for. I'd say love is one of those.



So it can be a big deal.

I said it CAN be, just that it isn't necessarily.

I think I must be a fair bit older than you and I think of all the time and energy I've wasted having "a shot at happiness" with a lot of guys who were nothing but a waste of space. Financial security and personal independence become increasingly important and not to be given up lightly, particularly for someone who you don't care enough about to marry.

Errata

Re all the suggestions to have the boyfriend move in as a lodger - if you were the boyfriend, wouldn't you feel absolutely horrible? Personally, I'd rather not move in with a significant other at all than move in as a second rate tenant. Maybe that's just me, though

Decent blokes would understand why a woman wishes to protect herself; decent blokes would help her to do that.

skintchick

Running_Horse wrote: »

Blimey, with the OP's attitude I'd still be unmarried.

Maybe it's a sign of equality that women now face this problem.

And they wonder why men don't commit.

Would you say this if the OP were a man?

fannyadams

this is a PDF - but I think it's pretty straightforward

http://static.advicenow.org.uk/files/Living_Together_Agreements-867.pdf

not sure how legally binding it would be though.

good luck!
FA
xx

catmiaow

Running_Horse wrote: »

Blimey, with the OP's attitude I'd still be unmarried.

Maybe it's a sign of equality that women now face this problem.

And they wonder why men don't commit.

I do not think I have an attitute, I went through a similar thing a few years ago where an ex tried to claim. It was a nightmare. There is nothing wrong with trying to protect yourself.

Are you saying you would happily give an ex loads of your money on a house which he has only lived at for a short time? Because no one with any sense would do this.

Mojisola

3plus1 wrote: »

Re all the suggestions to have the boyfriend move in as a lodger - if you were the boyfriend, wouldn't you feel absolutely horrible? Personally, I'd rather not move in with a significant other at all than move in as a second rate tenant. Maybe that's just me, though.

People approach these things differently - I have a female friend who would only move in with her partner if it was done this way.

The OP needs to talk to her boyfriend and see what his feelings are about it.

Errata

Given how many couples have a pre-nup and now that post-nips are accepted by the courts, a legal agreement for those who plan to live together sounds sensible and safeguards the interests of both parties.

Aaagh

Follow your instincts. If it feels right, do it, if not don't. Either way don't sign up to anything in joint names until you're really sure.

I moved in with DP (his council flat) when we had only been going out a few months - I was in my late twenties and had moved back in with my parents after a previous break up, so was desperate to get out! We got a mortgage together about a year later because it was the cheapest option (i.e. renting v mortgage) and I was still quite unsure when we moved in together, but thought if worst comes to the worst then it was cheaper than renting.

You're in a different position as you already have built up savings/equity in your own right. I would suggest that you don't sign that over to joint names, otherwise you should be OK as long as you don't enter into a legal partnership.

BTW DP and I are still together 11 years down the line, with a lovely 3 year old son, but it's all a gamble.

Good luck! Hope it all works out for you.

grey_lady

Did anyone else read this and think, hhmm extra coasters, waste paper baskets would be the way to go?