Boyfriend moving in how do I protect my home?

FBaby

Surely this is something that should be agreed before letting a partner move in?? My partner and I are just about to move in together and our situation is complex as we both own our own house. At first we were going to sell both houses and buy together, but in light of current market and costs of selling, we have decided to extend his house and to rent mine. We certainly discussed financial arrangements as soon as we agreed we wanted to move in together.

Your partner is understanding about your situation which is a great start, however, surely he needs to protect the investments he might be making towards your life together. Does he own a place of his own, does he intend of contributing towards the mortgage, the bills? I tihnk it all depends whether you guys consider that he has moved in in your house, or whether you have decided to move in together but it just happens it makes more sense to do so in your house.

sarahdot

janninew wrote: »

It might be worth taking legal advice and proceeding from there. I agree 100% that its a very sensible approach and I think maybe the people who say your obviously not ready to have a partner move in have never been through a split and had to work hard to keep their homes etc. I'm divorced and I was worried when my partner (now hubby) moved in, I loved him and knew I wanted a future with him, but I'm don't live in a dreamworld and know things can go wrong, as they did with my first husband (he cheated!)

The only sensible thing is to have your head rule, not your heart, protect your assets, and enjoy your relationship. Nobody knows what the future holds.

Thank-you so much for your response. I have found some useful information and intend to seek legal advice. After reading the posts yesterday afternoon, I spoke again to my partner, who commented that any decent person would understand the situation and know that things can never be guaranteed. Plus he understands that it is a temporary measure, whilst things are getting settled. I am not trying to ensure that he has no rights, and any agreement will be reviewed if anything changes, or if we marry/have children (which I expect and hope that we will) - but being sensible for a moment, what if he was to move in, and then move out 6 months later? Does that entitle him to half of my stuff, even if he's only contributes a couple of hundred quid? If we move somewhere later on, and buy together, then the equity I now have in my house will become OURS and we will both benefit from it. But having gone through an 18 month battle with my ex, which came down to a tit-for-tat argument about who bought the steak knives (because we weren't sensible enough to get a proper agreement in place first), I thoroughly intend to keep everything above board this time. My ex deceided to just stop paying the mortgage (which was huge at the time) and threatened to sell my home when I had nowhere else to go, and it was the most stressful and upsetting time of my life. I didn't know my rights, which I do now, but it is not worth the hassle of doing it all again just because it might not be the most romantic idea to sign a bit of paper first.

And no, my partner does not feel like a tenant, or a lodger. He is a decent man who has seen first hand how horrible and messy things can get.

p.s. to all of the posters who believe that they have all of the answers because they may be a little older/have been married for 50 years/have never addressed uncomfortable financial questions with their partners- that is absolutely fine - I would never judge you, or anyone else. But what works for one person, does not necessarily work for all, and to try and redirect the post to make the OP feel silly or doubt her relationship is just condescending and unneccessary, in my opinion.