Boyfriend moving in how do I protect my home?

2009

catmiaow wrote: »

My boyfriend due to be moving into my home in a few months. I brought this house in 2005 and its always been in my name.

Just wondering how I go about protecting myself, in case we break up. I don't want to be left having to give him half of everything I built up?

Is there anything else I can do to protect myself as well? Thanks in advance

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I think you are not ready to move with anyone, unless he is richer than you. sometime is is better to get close to someone who could support us than gettin closer to money which fall in value at the moment.

spirit

Thought I read something on the BBC news site some time ago about this. googled it and found this which was around the same time.

http://www.independent.co.uk/money/invest-save/unmarried-couples-the-new-law-of-the-ex-460293.html

I think you are being very wise too by the way.

sarahdot

Hi all,

I am new to the forum and found this post as I am in a similar situation - I co-owned my property with an ex-partner and after we seperated, I had to pay off a substantial chunk of the mortgage in order to keep my home.

I now have a new partner who has moved in and I wanted advice on how to protect my asset. I think its quite patronising that a lot of the reponses offered do not answer the original poster's question, and instead try to offer relationship coaching. It is an incredibly sensible idea to protect your own assets. Its not about lack of trust or 'not being ready'. Things go wrong even at the best of times.

I work as a legal advisor (in a different field to this) and deal with people everyday who have incurred problems due to wishful thinking, and blind trust that everything works out. No, I am not a pessimist at all and I love my partner to pieces but it is unrealistic to think that it is impossible that things cannot go wrong.

My new partner completely understands that due to the financial strain I was put under from my previous break-up, that I must protect my home, and he does not take this as a personal affront. We are both mature enough to understand why it is necessary and I am so disappointed that I have come to a money saving forum and mostly found responses that belittle the original poster.

I will keep trawling through the posts to try and find a helpful response.

HappyMJ

The only way to protect your assets is not allow your partner to move in. Not allowing them to contribute anything towards the upkeep, mortgage or household bills is another but not 100% guaranteed.

janninew

sarahdot wrote: »

Hi all,

I am new to the forum and found this post as I am in a similar situation - I co-owned my property with an ex-partner and after we seperated, I had to pay off a substantial chunk of the mortgage in order to keep my home.

I now have a new partner who has moved in and I wanted advice on how to protect my asset. I think its quite patronising that a lot of the reponses offered do not answer the original poster's question, and instead try to offer relationship coaching. It is an incredibly sensible idea to protect your own assets. Its not about lack of trust or 'not being ready'. Things go wrong even at the best of times.

I work as a legal advisor (in a different field to this) and deal with people everyday who have incurred problems due to wishful thinking, and blind trust that everything works out. No, I am not a pessimist at all and I love my partner to pieces but it is unrealistic to think that it is impossible that things cannot go wrong.

My new partner completely understands that due to the financial strain I was put under from my previous break-up, that I must protect my home, and he does not take this as a personal affront. We are both mature enough to understand why it is necessary and I am so disappointed that I have come to a money saving forum and mostly found responses that belittle the original poster.

I will keep trawling through the posts to try and find a helpful response.

It might be worth taking legal advice and proceeding from there. I agree 100% that its a very sensible approach and I think maybe the people who say your obviously not ready to have a partner move in have never been through a split and had to work hard to keep their homes etc. I'm divorced and I was worried when my partner (now hubby) moved in, I loved him and knew I wanted a future with him, but I'm don't live in a dreamworld and know things can go wrong, as they did with my first husband (he cheated!)

The only sensible thing is to have your head rule, not your heart, protect your assets, and enjoy your relationship. Nobody knows what the future holds.

January20

Since this thread is already 2 years old, it would be lovely if the original poster would come back and update it, let us know how it all turned out for her.

foreign_correspondent

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

That might be true if you were marrying him but living with someone isn't necessarily that big a deal. It's a shame more women aren't this sensible and look after themselvers rather than making themselves vulnerable.

yup, but financially its a terribly big deal - after seperating from my partner after 12 years (cohabiting) my rights are probably less than if we had been married - my advice is do not put ANYTHING in joint names, especially the mortgage, unless you are both paying 50% and would be happy for it to be split 50/50 if you seperated.

foreign_correspondent

catmiaow wrote: »

So basically your saying if they do not pay towards my mortgage they can not claim anything. What he will pay is towards household bills, nothing towards my mortgage.

nope, the bottom line is generally that its more about whose name it is in, than who pays what, which seems very arbitrary.

Fang_3

Don't marry him? Don't let him pay the mortgage or bills in his name? Lock up all your important documents away from your house? Keep detailed records? Threaten to relieve him of his most precious organs if he so much as thinks about trying it?

suited-aces

If a woman came on complaining her fella was trying to protect himself like this, there'd be a mumsnet style sympathy fest and the fella would be called every name under the sun