Boyfriend moving in how do I protect my home?

Running_Horse

catmiaow wrote: »

I do not think I have an attitute, I went through a similar thing a few years ago where an ex tried to claim. It was a nightmare. There is nothing wrong with trying to protect yourself.

Are you saying you would happily give an ex loads of your money on a house which he has only lived at for a short time? Because no one with any sense would do this.

Don't have a go at me. Does the man you are planning to share your life with know you are discussing him online? If he moves in and shares a computer, he probably soon will. When my future wife moved in to my house it never even occured to me to do this.

Running_Horse

skintchick wrote: »

Would you say this if the OP were a man?

Yes I would.

Aaagh

Running_Horse wrote: »

Don't have a go at me. Does the man you are planning to share your life with know you are discussing him online? If he moves in and shares a computer, he probably soon will.

Why? Do you snoop into your wife's private business? I wouldn't dream of checking up on what DP looks at on line, and hope he doesn't look at mine. Not that I've got anything to hide or that I'm embarrassed about. I'd say that it's part of being in a trusting relationship.

I think the OP has every right to seek other people's opinions on this. You were obviously one of the fortunate people but there are plenty of stories where people have been unlucky in love.

Oldernotwiser

Running_Horse wrote: »

planning to share your life with know you are discussing him online? .

Sharing one's life and sharing one's accommodation are quite different things.

Fluffi

I think the OP is doing the right thing in trying to protect her home and I don’t agree that this means she doesn't trust her boyfriend. After all relationships break up for all sorts of reasons and even the nicest people can turn nasty if they think they’ve been unfairly wronged (even when they haven’t) and may try to hurt the other party by making claims on property. Lots of people “trust” their partners and then find the partner cheating, becoming violent or other things and end up going through a messy, nasty divorces. The OP is just trying to protect herself and I would do the same thing if I was in her situation.

Similarly if I was moving in with a boyfriend that owned his own property I would expect him to formalise the arrangement so he couldn’t lose out financially, either by signing legal paperwork or by formally paying rent as others have suggested. It might be “only money” but often earning and saving that money involves a lot of personal sacrifice and hard work and I’d be surprised if he didn’t want to protect it – in fact I’d be worried if he didn’t!

TighterThanTwoCoatsOfPain

I'm in the "untrusting" camp...

Starting a relationship with a focus on planning for the future breakup is madness!

When my missus moved into my house with me (before we bought one together) i would never have dreamt about getting her to do this. Totally off on the wrong foot imo.

Each to their own though..

swiss69

I agree with the OP. Its sensible to take steps to at least find out where you stand. Not sure about rent books etc though for a partner!

If someone walks into a relationship with no finances and the other party has lots of cash or equity I personally dont see why they should get anything if they split up.

I wouldnt even bother getting into a relationship where the other party for instance had loads of debts...Whats the point. As someone else said there are plenty of other people out there waiting to be met:D

shaven-monkey

give him a room for his stuff. he's a lodger, pays towards bills every week, you can boot him out with 2 weeks notice and no cause or if he is violent or abusive you can boot him out with no notice at all. No contract required and if it comes to acrimonious split, he has no legal right to anything.

Ember999

shaven-monkey wrote: »

give him a room for his stuff. he's a lodger, pays towards bills every week, you can boot him out with 2 weeks notice and no cause or if he is violent or abusive you can boot him out with no notice at all. No contract required and if it comes to acrimonious split, he has no legal right to anything.

Poor guy! He's moving in with her to have what amounts to no security whatsoever. How nice that he can be made homeless at a moments notice! I am thinking from 'his' point of view here (yet am female, with property and married) - what about him? So he is to move in, be classed as a 'lodger' with no rights whatsoever? I'd tell her to forget it - that's no way to start off a relationship, no way at all.

What about him? does no one else see this from his point of view?

shaven-monkey

well... yes i see it from his point of view, he gets to live with a wonderful woman of his dreams. He only gets made homeless if he leaves the toilet seat up.