Boyfriend moving in how do I protect my home?

Oldernotwiser

3plus1 wrote: »

To be perfectly honest, if my boyfriend walked off with half of everything I own, it would be the least of my worries. I'd miss him, not the money. .

There's always plenty more men around; money takes years to earn!

MrsTinks

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

It's a shame more women aren't this sensible and look after themselvers rather than making themselves vulnerable.

Or men for that matter... I'm grateful my ex who's a great mate listened and is generally sensible anyway. All bills and house costs are paid for by him and his girlfriend pays half the food. He's lucky he can afford to do so and still pay for things for her like her driving lessons etc. It means she'll have nil chance of getting any money of him if or when they split.

skintchick

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

That might be true if you were marrying him but living with someone isn't necessarily that big a deal. It's a shame more women aren't this sensible and look after themselvers rather than making themselves vulnerable.

I disagree. Living together IS a big deal, and that's why these types of issues crop up.

OP - if you have doubts about him moving in then don;t do it. You can;t base a relationship on the thought that it will end.

margaretclare

"Boy-friend moving in - how do I protect my home?"

The title of this thread really says it all.

Don't invite him to move in if you're thinking along these lines! Otherwise, hand him a rent book as he steps over the front doorstep, and tell him he's a tenant. Tell him that if you 'break up' i.e. if he chooses to leave or if you choose to kick him out, then he leaves with what he came with. Tell him he must pay his share of bills, or charge him the going rate for rent, whatever that is in your area.

I did similar when DH moved in with me in 1997, although the idea of him taking from me was not uppermost in my mind - we did it for the purposes of his divorce.

Oldernotwiser

skintchick wrote: »

I disagree. Living together IS a big deal, and that's why these types of issues crop up.

OP - if you have doubts about him moving in then don;t do it. You can;t base a relationship on the thought that it will end.

It CAN be a big deal, but it doesn't have to be. Sometimes it's just the easiest and pleasantest way to live at a particular point, especially if the couple are just renting. Money and property always complicate things.

Even if the relationship is important, there's still no reason to be an idiot and make yourself vulnerable; these boards are littered with people who've done just that!

Lorian

Make sure in your agreement you decide who has rights to the remote control, and where the toilet seat gets left, too

Errata

Read this http://www.questbrook.co.uk/solename.htm then see a solicitor, or tell him he's a lodger and give him a rent book.

SailorSam

Lorian wrote: »

Make sure in your agreement you decide who has rights to the remote control, and where the toilet seat gets left, too

I've read so many complaints on these forums about men leaving toilet seats up. Moan; moan; moan.
Us men put up with you leaving it down. We don't complain all the time.

Running_Horse

Blimey, with the OP's attitude I'd still be unmarried.

Maybe it's a sign of equality that women now face this problem.

And they wonder why men don't commit.

3plus1

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

There's always plenty more men around; money takes years to earn!

I'd rather lose out on the money for a damn good shot at happiness - there's no joy in sitting on top of a pile of gold all by yourself. Some things are worth taking a risk for. I'd say love is one of those. Of course, my attitude would be completely different if I had any children to worry about!

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

That might be true if you were marrying him but living with someone isn't necessarily that big a deal. It's a shame more women aren't this sensible and look after themselvers rather than making themselves vulnerable.

I'd disagree with that - fewer and fewer people are getting married these days. Many people just don't believe in it, and as such, living together is the biggest commitment they're prepared to make. So it can be a big deal.

Blimey, this might be the first time our paths have crossed and I've disagreed with you, Oldernotwiser!

Re all the suggestions to have the boyfriend move in as a lodger - if you were the boyfriend, wouldn't you feel absolutely horrible? Personally, I'd rather not move in with a significant other at all than move in as a second rate tenant. Maybe that's just me, though.