Re: Lodger...Wrong Choice? Help Please

Amy78

it is not really the extra hot water that they use which annoys me
it is the fact she is here a lot and does not mind imposing herself that much
they even eat in the bedroom which i find filthy
in a way they are always in the bedroom which means i can enjoy the living room but in a way she uses the kitchen and is always there so when they talk all night and bangs the doors that stops me from sleeping
i feel it is like they live here both of them
from time to time for me meant in the week end she could stay friday eve and saturday eve
but now it is in the week and they go out and come back at 3.30 in morning i work the next day they work when they want
so on the last 9 days she was here sunday night, monday night,wednesday night, saturday night, sunday all day and sunday night and in the day on monday but i was at work
i feel it is a bit too much and i dont know how to tell him again i am not happy with this as obviously he did not care about what i said the 1st time

Amy78

to this he will answer that she is always in the bedroom and does not use the sofa. and rarely the kitchen
that is what he told me once already

Catblue

Amy, just tell him to go - do not get drawn into a discussion with him. It is your house and you've already spoken to him about the situation but he just doesn't care.

If you cannot face telling him, write him a note and put in on his bedroom door. Just say that things are not working out (no need to give a reason) and that you are giving him 4 weeks' notice or whatever you have agreed between the two of you.

poppysarah

Amy78 wrote: »

i feel it is a bit too much and i dont know how to tell him again i am not happy with this as obviously he did not care about what i said the 1st time

Get rid now.
It'll make you happier. Don't give a reason. Just ask him to leave at the end of the week/fortnight (although it's christmas so you might feel some little itty bit of compassion... or not :-) )

Amy78

I cant ask him to leave now especially as i will be away 10 days for christmas and fear he might do something in the flat as angry
so maybe best i tell him when i am back
i just cant believe some people have no manners at all

Catblue

Yes, leave it until you come back and then let him know immediately that he has to leave.

Try not to dwell on it too much, he'll be gone soon.

Amy78

thanks
i felt a bit bad to tell him to go but at that point i know he is abusing of my kindness
it is never nice to say to someone you have to leave

thanks for your advises and i will keep you posted in january

neverdespairgirl

poppysarah wrote: »

I always think you should behave as you would at your parents -BUT if you'd take random sh*gs back to your parents and keep them all awake all night then I wouldn't want you in my house.

OH and I had been living together for 7 years before we were allowed to share a room when we stayed with my parents. I was heavily pregnant by then, so I think they bowed to the inevitable (-:

shell1000

definately do as advised amy, i had the same situation two years ago. i helped a friend out by letting her move into my spare room. i was charging her low rent in a brand new house with all bills included.. this was all ok until she met her boyfriend (who was an ok guy actually) but he started staying over 6 days a week and she didnt make any offers to increase her payments to cover increased bills. Also she was disrespectful, refused to clean anything in the whole house for the six months she lived with me, she smoked in her room when i said strictly no smoking... i had to ask her to leave and she did.

I don't regret it for one second, i was about to renovate my house ( i had moved by then and she moved with me) and i couldnt risk her ruining my hard work.

I realised that i should have had a tenancy and also a deposit, even a relatively small one just as back up.

Now after renovating my house I have a new lodger, yes she has friends over and even the occasional guy/boyfriend but she is very respectful, very clean and tidy.. she knows what the contract says and appreciates the impact of her lodging on my house insurance, ie theft cover only with forced entry, so they are not all bad. It's just finding the right one. She has been with me since June now and shes lovely. I try not to entangle our lives though, she has her friends, I have mine, although we can talk about each others stuff, I find it easier this way and with less conflict.

I hope this helps. Make sure you get a contract and a deposit for the next one. Make a list of all the things you despise and make sure they are in the contract.. mine are, and that includes removing any squatters rights...

goodluck x

Amy78

to be honest he is lovely very nice person
it is 2 nights he did not bring her back so i hope he understood the message if not i will ask him to leave simple as that as i do not rent to a couple but 1 person
she is lovely too but i dont understand she takes it badly that i told him she was here way too often as i dont think she has to say anything on this as she does not live here. (well she should not live here)
the eating in the bedroom that bugs me too, even when he is alone he eats in his bedroom. It is like renting a bedsit in an appartment and i have a huge table it wont cost him extra to eat on the table
i feel we do not have the same manners
i have rented for 6 years at a landlord house myself and when i was bringing someone for coffee or dvd i would have let the landlord know ahead just so he was aware someone was coming
in my case i let my lodger know when my friend comes for coffee he never tells me when she will be coming. i just come home and hop they are here
i am a bit scared that while i will be away for 10 days she will be here everyday.
he also let her alone in the flat once i told him it was a NO NO and he said he would not do it again but he did