Marriage troubles (long)

Loz01

The minute he laid a finger on the kids or called any of them a bad name, I'd have been out the door and gone. Never to go back. Verbally abusing children is not on, however stressed people are! End of.

Amber_Sunshine

You say 'how I can make it work'. Hun, it takes TWO. He will continue to behave like a selfish pig because you let him get away with it, and it sounds like he won't recognise that there are problems.

I don't have kids, but if I did, anyone who hit them would be out the door before they could blink.

worry_worry

Thanks again all. I'd rather try and make it work first. Sorry for letting everyone down for saying this.

aliasojo

You're not letting us down at all so don't worry about that. We're just faceless names on a page and we dont count, you have to do what you think is best for you and your family.

Good luck. I hope things get better.

tori.k

your not letting anyone down,you have to do what's right for you,the easier option is to walk away,i take my hat off to you worry worry,stay strong and do what's right for you,tho make sure you make sometime for yourself,as women we get caught up being mum/wife and sometimes lose our own identity,so try and step out of the hassles at home and take some me time and recharge your batteries...big hug and best of luck x

natashasprite

worry_worry wrote: »

Thanks again all. I'd rather try and make it work first. Sorry for letting everyone down for saying this.

I really hope things work out

RobertoMoir

worry_worry wrote: »

Thanks again all. I'd rather try and make it work first. Sorry for letting everyone down for saying this.

I don't think you're letting anyone down. You have to think about doing the right thing for you, and while you're doing just that you've got nothing to apologise for. Especially not to a bunch of random people on an Internet forum.

wannabe_sybil

Also, worry worry, it is important to know that whatever happens you can come back on here. You will get the usual assortment of yes, no, etc but you will get support. While you are working on your marriage, if you need to vent, just to get along, then come on here. Having a grumble is sometimes a real help if you need to get through something and on to a loving and happy marriage.

Good luck.

Loretta

natashasprite wrote: »

And then maybe people would actually work at their marriage and they would last for years and years rather than for just a short period of time ...that would make a better society....

Stop encouraging someone to break up a marriage at the drop of a hat and actually take up the vows that were promised ...even if the other person is letting their side down.......only if the other person does no longer love you do you let them go ( this does not include someone abusing you or cheating on you though... although even this can come down to forgiveness...people do and can change if they realise what they could lose if they do not)

It takes both people to work at a marriage not just one, if one is working at it and one isn't and is refusing to do so the marriage is over. If one person is abusing and hitting the children, being abusive to their other half and not contributing their share of anything, time, money and effort to the marriage the marriage is over. If children are being abused a parent has a duty to make sure they are safe and not damaged for life either physically or mentally. marriages used to last for years because it was impossible for women to leave, people stay in marriages for years now because they are so bullied that they do not have the strength or confidence to leave. Just because a marriage has lasted a long time it does not mean that it should have.

This is the real world not a fairy tale

NAR

Excellent post Loretta. And all the more relevant in this case where the marriage has been a relatively short one so far (assuming abused step kids are not very old).