Getting OH to propose - and think it's his idea!

Krystaltips

I'm with you skintchick, we had a discussion when we first started seeing each other on how we thought life should go... His idea: you move in with someone, have a couple of children, then get married... My response: If I'm good enough to live with I'm good enough to marry... We had the church booked within a couple of months and he moved in with me the day after we married....

Jo_R_2

Thing is, I can't ever see myself actually outright asking his plans, saying I'd been thinking it would be a nice idea or anything like that! Pretty similar to what shellsuit said, whilst I don't have a problem at all with women proposing, I'd want him to do it, just because I know how I feel about it, and if he proposes I want to know he did it because he wanted to sort of thing.

I guess I do have the advantage of knowing that he does want to get married, but the 'drawback' of not knowing when!

Have to LOL - I don't think the idea had entered my head until he first started talking about marriage, it's his fault I blame him!:mad:

Jo_R_2

Krystaltips wrote: »

I'm with you skintchick, we had a discussion when we first started seeing each other on how we thought life should go... His idea: you move in with someone, have a couple of children, then get married... My response: If I'm good enough to live with I'm good enough to marry... We had the church booked within a couple of months and he moved in with me the day after we married....

I totally agree with this... We did have a discussion quite early on, that was centred around me having my DDs, and I was quite, um, straight down the line over what I wanted from a relationship. He didn't have any problems with that... Then a year or so later I find out I'm pregnant, he subsequently moves in, and here we are...

One day I will actually plan something that happens in my life!

galvanizersbaby

skintchick wrote: »

I told my OH on our first date that I was looking for a husband, so he knew I was just waiting for a proposal! I got one after four months.

:rotfl: Like your style Skinty x
Not sure this one would work for everyone though - I think it would frighten me off but then again I've been married before!

Sharra

I have a similar problems with my OH, we've been together nearly 8 years, lived together about 6, he's a great stepdad to my son. Very early on in our relationship he said that he was quite traditional and beleived in doing the asking.
Our first Feb 29th he was panicked in case I asked him, so this year I didn't even consider it, only to have him say sometime in March 'I thought you'd ask me and I would have said yes'.
He's not the most motivated of people when it comes to things like that and I can see us still not being married after 20 years! So I'm debating asking him on his birthday (this week).
But I would far rather he did the asking for similar reasons to Jo-R.
Blokes are just crap at times aren't they?

beccam

Sharra wrote: »

I have a similar problems with my OH, we've been together nearly 8 years, lived together about 6, he's a great stepdad to my son. Very early on in our relationship he said that he was quite traditional and beleived in doing the asking.
Our first Feb 29th he was panicked in case I asked him, so this year I didn't even consider it, only to have him say sometime in March 'I thought you'd ask me and I would have said yes'.
He's not the most motivated of people when it comes to things like that and I can see us still not being married after 20 years! So I'm debating asking him on his birthday (this week).
But I would far rather he did the asking for similar reasons to Jo-R.
Blokes are just crap at times aren't they?

Why don't you do a 'ask him to ask you' kind of thing....put a nice note in a box and give it to him as part of his present...something like " if you would like to ask me to marry you, I would like to say yes, lets make this an extra special day"?

glossgal

I think y'all need to chill out, what's the rush?? I can see how some of the posters here have waited a looong time for their man to pop the question (me included, 5 years and counting lol) but I really can't see why you'd need or even want to get wed within months of living together? Maybe I'm old fashioned, I dunno. Give him some time to adjust to the new set up I say. That said, I personally don't believe men are generally 'into' marriage in the same way women are anyway so we cant expect them to care about it to the same extent!

beccam

glossgal wrote: »

I think y'all need to chill out, what's the rush?? I can see how some of the posters here have waited a looong time for their man to pop the question (me included, 5 years and counting lol) but I really can't see why you'd need or even want to get wed within months of living together? Maybe I'm old fashioned, I dunno. Give him some time to adjust to the new set up I say. That said, I personally don't believe men are generally 'into' marriage in the same way women are anyway so we cant expect them to care about it to the same extent!

Have to say me and OH were together 5yrs before we got engaged, got a house the year after that and then married the next...the day we got married was 7yrs (to the day) after we first met!! Oh young love eh?!:o

MiM

It was just fear with me.

Mind, I can't choose what I want off a menu so this decision was just a bit too big for me!

oystercatcher

Before DH and I were married we used to kind of jokingly 'mention' the idea in passing. Like I'd use the word 'husband' and then say "Ah but you're not actually my husband ! " and he'd say things like "If we were married we could ....." I think we were both trying to judge the others reaction and get used to the idea.
He had planned to ask me on my birthday but chickened out so asked me two weeks later !! He said he was really scared I'd say no even though he seems a very confident person! Mean while I'd had plenty of time to think about it so when he asked I knew that I would say YES !!

Oystercatcher