advice please

deb68_2

Me again its 4.06 am cant sleep thinking of all this i just didnt want more upset from bro in law an sis in law, we now its not just him as she is the same very materelistic person,
Any way this is what i have, decided last night i was asked if i would rehome a puppy my lovely gsd died 3 weeks ago that broke me hurt like hell, we do still have 2 oher gsd,s and a rescue collie x, am waffleing again i humed an arrd about this little pup he is 7 wks old and have decided i am going to have this puppy, and the money they wanted will go on injections and anything else he may need, i no you may think ooo this is a knee jerk reaction its not i promise he will be loved and cared for every day of hs life, we will train him he will be taken for walks every day we will socalizing him wth everyone especially post man lol, and my kids will have a smile on faces when come home from school it broke thier hearts when we had to have our gsd put down and he passed way in my arms,
Also we are going to send 3 more xmas boxes to those poor kids that never get anything, our kids save so much each week and make thier own boxes every year so our kids cant be mentaly damaged us buying of ebay they are thoughtfull kids.
Bro in law should just stop and smell the flowers and see life as it is that people do struggle that it doesnt take a min or hurt him to say a kind word to someone.He doesnt struggle with money far from it hs more money than i will ever see in my life not talking hundreds,or thous he up to mill now, hasnt got what we have tho hasnt got a home full of love kind careing people that will help you if you are sruggleing hasnt got my amazing kids or my adorable husband its me that is RICH
Our eldest son wanted to buy a tree for my mum for xmas in memory of her we spoke about it and now he is going to buy an oxfam gift card he cant decide either chickens or a goat,middle son is going to our local home for the elderly he spending some of his own money on gifts for them, youngest son was in a quandry what he can do something like his brothers,he wants to help our life boat going out and around with them doing sponserd walks, and helping clean the boat on the week ends
now thats a rich person in my mind compasionate carein wonderful kids
dont get me wrong they can also make a saint swear and drive me nuts at times. but thier hearts are in the right place
so all you lovely people who have helped me more than you could no, a huge thank you for reminding me that its not hubby and myself that are selfish and inadaquate parents,for reminding me what a wonderfu family i have
take care all
love deb

redruby

Your boys sound lovely, and I am sure its because they have great parents, try to stop worrying about BIL, he is just not worth it.

And what is a Gsd ? , has got me puzzled

mudgekin

well done Deb for having such a great idea, and for having such wonderful kids that think of such thoughtful caring things. You have a family to be proud of

ifonlyitwaseasier

deb,
you need not worry about what your Bil said, it sounds like you have wonderful thoughtful children.
i'd be proud to have kids that unselfish and giving.

keep up the good work

ioiwe x

Stephb1986_2

Debs you dont need money when you have kids like that I bet you are dead proud I would be

I know woolworths sell trees for about £10 I think we got a pear tree a few years ago and amazingly after planting it 10 years ago it actually got a pear!!!

Steph xxx

jellyhead

deb - if he's not poor why did he make people pay to go to his wedding I thought people only did that if they couldn't afford to get married!

How often do you see them? are you close to them, or are your children close to his children? Would it really matter if you give whatever gifts you choose on christmas day, and if BIL and SIL have a tantrum you just ignore them?

I agree with the others - your children sound very caring and you are richer than your BIL in many ways

**Patty**

redruby wrote: »

Your boys sound lovely, and I am sure its because they have great parents, try to stop worrying about BIL, he is just not worth it.

And what is a Gsd ? , has got me puzzled

GSD: German Shepherd dog



Or a brand of hair straightners:rotfl: but am guessing it's the dog.

MsChazzer

deb68 wrote: »

Hi all
Do you think we are being mean and mentally hurting our lads by buying from o line places i am really upset about this,deb

In a word, no. Sounds like he's being mean and mentally hurting you though.

gibboelli

I think you're actually helping your children, showing them how to be thrifty and maybe teaching them to be responsible and showing, though ebay is a wonderful resource, how not to over pend on it.

Think if that was my brother in law I'd shove his so called list where the sun doesnt shine. He's the one who'll have selfish, money grabbing, materialistic children, not you!

Hawthorn

I grew up in hard times, as did many of my friends - many of todays kids don't, and you know what I've noticed? They are all materialistic so and so's This is never, a good thing.
Thankfully, my kids have got their heads screwed on. My eldest can go shopping with £50 and buy several items of clothing. His more, um, well, spoiled friends, spend this on one pair of jeans alone!
Tell you know, they're going to be in for a fall if the economic situation escalates.
It's easier to raise your standard of living, than it is to lower it.
I think honestly, you are doing a GREAT thing by your kids, and it's refreshing to see (that's why I love this site LOL)
You are setting them up for a great future - they will probably cope wonderfully when they leave home, and will have a good idea about making ends meet.
Your BIL's children? I would hazard a guess, that they will come down to earth with a great big bump - how are they going to maintain that standard of living, when suddenly they have all of these bills to pay?
Our job as a parent, is not to spoil our children rotten with material items....it's essentially to prepare them for the big bad world out there, and it ain't easy.
You are teaching yours responsibility - he is teaching his children to be painful snobs (ouch - sorry, poor kids)
Yours will be more well adjusted. Damaging them mentally, my a*se.

Also, buying them online stuff? Well, they won't know about it LOL. Again, back to my eldest - he's almost 14, and is so frugal it's amusing. He won't buy anything full price, because they are 'ripping him off' (in his words), and, he loves scouring charity shops (a habit he gets from his mum). My family, are in despair, indeed, they named me second hand rose (oh well ) but they often comment on stuff my kids have or wear, and say 'is that new?', and I'll say 'new to me, yes' LOL.
In no way, is this a bad habit for kids (or adults) to have. Saving money.....where could it possibly be bad? Oh aye, by charging your guests to come to your overly extravagant wedding, thats where