advice please

deb68_2

Hi all
Just wondered if you would be able to give me an hubby some advice? i dont no if this is the right place to put this, sorry if it is'nt,
We have bought moat of our xmas shopping from ebay this year been a hard year, my mum ied in april, we went bankrupt in sept,.Anyway we have bought most xms pressies of ebay, my bro in law said if you are buying from ebay do not buy my wife, my kids or me anything from there an has given us a list of things to buy as i said in answer to someone elses question ohe only wanted wedding pesents from the value of £50 an we didnt pay anything like that reson being was we had to hire tophat an tails for hubby an 3 teenage sons, i had to buy a posh dress they were getting married in some castle, and everyone had to pay £50 towards the wedding food.wouldnt come to our wedding 15 yrs ago as it was in a register office said it was for common people.Sorry am waffleing. he is saying we are mentally hurting our sons and being ver mean by buying from that site or any on line shopping, all the things we bought are in excellent condition some like trainers are new.He nos i am disabled an cant get out much so this is how hubby an i are able to shop togther.He has just rang hubby and said to give him and his wife£100 pound and £50 for the 3yrs old and £25 for tha 7 mth old.
Do you think we are being mean and mentally hurting our lads by buying from o line places i am really upset about this, we have spent what we can afford and they have got a lot so far we are still getting them dvds,cds, aftershave etc
any advice would be really helpful
sorry for going on and on
take care
deb

Krystaltips

I would tell him where he could stick his list of suggested gifts and not get them anything! We're being very tight this christmas, we just got married and paid for our wedding ourselves, we're having a baby next year and we don't see why we should spend a fortune on other people. The most we have spent on any one gift (not including each other or our daughter) is £12 and the majority are below a fiver... If I had £175 I certainly wouldn't be giving it to someone elses family!

pinkshoes

I think your brother in law should look up the meaning of christmas, and realise it's not about money and the size of the present.

He is being unbelievably rude, and under no circumstances should you hand over any money to him.

If they made people hire their own costumes at a wedding, and pay for their own food, he sounds like a right cheapskate, and you should just ignore him, and give the gifts you've already bought.

Mrs_Weasley

i agree with pinkshoes, how very rude, christmas is not about how much money you spend...i would just give him what you have already bought. We have similar problem with my brother and his wife although not on that scale!! They will get what they are given and be satisfied!!!

(((hugs))) mrs w xxx

peachyprice

What a pig of a man your BiL is. :mad:
It's absolutley no business of his where you choose to shop, and he certainly has no right telling you what you should be giving his family for xmas.

As for your children, mentally harming them??? how?? i've never heard such bullsh1t in my life. Does he really think your children would want you to spend more than you can afford just to keep up appearances. I doubt very much they'll give two hoots where you shop, as long as they know you love them.

Stick to your guns honey, you're doing nothing wrong, and nothing the rest of us don't do.

Violetta_2

I think he deserves a lump of coal . As for mentally hurting your kid's what utter tripe. Xmas is not worth getting into debt over. Why are so many people so materialistic, makes me sooo angry!

bumblebee87_2

i would tell him where to go!!! £175!!! we have spent less that half of that on our only child!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO WAY would i spend that much on someone who obviously doesnt understand the value of money and that some people cant afford that

Norma_Desmond

Not only does he deserve a lump of coal, I would THROW it at him for good measure!
There are more and more threads on this sort of emotional blackmail and it makes me furious to think of all those grasping, materialistic and downright rude relatives screaming 'I want'.
Send the prat a charity gift if you have to give something - a can of worms costs £15 from Christian Aid and goes to help fertilise the fields of a poor Bolivian farmer.

redruby

I have bought most of my dd's Xmas presents off of ebay, they are a fraction of the price of the shops, and all brand new, this way she gets a few extra bits because its so much cheaper. Brand new clothes with tags and cd's etc.

There is no way you are hurting your children, utter tosh, the man needs to live in the real world. Enjoy your xmas knowing that you have not over spent, and give your bil the presents you had already bought. S*d them :mad:

deb68_2

Thank you all very much,take caredebxxxxx

lowis

your brother in law sounds like an absolute !!!!!!! arsehoole. don't give him anything, the greedy buzzard!

by the way - there is nothing wrong with buying from eBay and online sites. your brother in law is an utter snob.

god, i hate him and i haven't even met the wunker!

enjoy your christmas with the family members whom appreciate you for you, not for what you can give them when demanded to do so!