Icesave Veterans Association

st

last one promise....

Tourist: Is that chin-strap to keep your helmet on?
Policeman: No, sir, it's to rest my jaw on after answering stupid questions.:rotfl:

amistupid

A man checks into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely. He thought of one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab. He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs...... well, you get the picture! He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel. When back in the room he figures, what the hell, give her a call.


'Hello,' the woman says. God, she sounded sexy.

'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one.. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?'

She says, 'That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line.




Not you I hope st?

st

amistupid wrote: »

Chips and savoury mince fantastic. :T

did you enjoy then ami?

st

amistupid wrote: »

A man checks into a hotelon a business trip and was a bit lonely. He thought of one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab. He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs...... well, you get the picture! He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel. When back in the room he figures, what the hell, give her a call.


'Hello,' the woman says. God, she sounded sexy.

'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one.. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?'

She says, 'That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line.




Not you I hope st?

:T :T know the:D the feeling --

amistupid

st wrote: »

did you enjoy then ami?

Sad to admit but one of my very favourites. No class that's my problem

st

was on trip once india,sri lanka and Paksitan and was really exhausted -on last day before flight back late that night was sitting by the pool at karachi holiday inn -and noticed a massage sign with a ---> umm I thought just what i need ( in strict islam country those days run by general zia-ul haq).

so I asked the pool guy and he said:eek: no problem at what time you like I will arrange -ok 14.00 will be fine -
along I go and opne the door expecting a nice lady :rotfl: no way a pakistani man build like a sumo wrestler -to hell I thought at least is massage lets do it-he told me to stip off and put towel round middle -lie face down on couch -next minute he literally puts his feet on my back and pummels me -b******
time for a quick an exit -I ached for nearly 2 weeks -the guy could not understand why i left-was first massage ever -and never again by a man:mad:

st

amistupid wrote: »

Sad to admit but one of my very favourites. No class that's my problem

ami you can not beat simple good english meals -corn beef and chips I love

st

when you think about too many poncy meals these days -says he who had the lobster (ok was a cheap one ) -good old stews and pies with veg ,fish and chips ,stoty cakes from north east

st

thinking about policeman in the god old days I remember the policeman in a box in Durham city -and often used to wonder poor guy stuck in there all day with that silly hat

amistupid

st wrote: »

was on trip once india,sri lanka and Paksitan and was really exhausted -................ -I ached for nearly 2 weeks -the guy could not understand why i left-was first massage ever -and never again by a man:mad:

st your stories kill me:T :T :T