hanging my head in shame

worried_jim

My friend has his interview at 4pm tomorrow but I won't be there as I don't do Wednesdays. I've just got off the phone prepping him but I know he will be brilliant. We did have a young lady in for an interview on Monday and from what I have been told she was texting during the interview- I p1ssed myself when the boss told me, we better get some more Polish over as the English are 'effing useless, what do they teach these numpties in school?

I remember Charles and Diana as we had a street party and it was fancy dress- I went as a Pirate and my sister was the Queen of Hearts. There was a nobbly knees contest for the dads and the cul de sac was closed to traffic. My swimming teacher was in the local paper as she looked like Diana and I have it all in a scrap book so I have great memories. A couple of my neighbours are having a p1ss up(not hard they are a mother and daughter team of alkies) in the gardens here and if the weather is nice I shall pop along but I know the mother will get drunk and start banging on about how wonderful her dead husband was-"he was brilliant. a lovely guy, I wish you could have met him" me " I did, we were neighbours for six years before he died". This conversation happens every single time I go round for a drink, and this pair really drink wine like water. One time the daughter came round mine - p1ssed- late one night and she was well up for it but it just happened to be the one weekend of the year when my parents were here and although they had gone to bed they must have heard us 'cos Emma is proper loud but I thought sod it, its my house and how often do you get someone beating down your door this horny? So I will be getting loads of drink in and some candles......

worried_jim

Neil had his interview yesterday. I wasn't in but he called round for coffee afterwards and it sounded very positive and he will find out today so I will keep my fingers crossed for him. He had a good tour of the office afterwards and met some team members which is always a good sign and he said he really liked the atmosphere so it could all be good later on.

MrsPorridge

Keep us posted about Neil please Jim.

worried_jim

I feel like a worthwhile person today- I have helped my friend to get a job!

worried_jim

A fifteen-year-old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number… and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.....
'Go get your Mother'

savingwannabe

worried_jim wrote: »

My friend has his interview at 4pm tomorrow but I won't be there as I don't do Wednesdays. I've just got off the phone prepping him but I know he will be brilliant. We did have a young lady in for an interview on Monday and from what I have been told she was texting during the interview- I p1ssed myself when the boss told me, we better get some more Polish over as the English are 'effing useless, what do they teach these numpties in school?

I remember Charles and Diana as we had a street party and it was fancy dress- I went as a Pirate and my sister was the Queen of Hearts. There was a nobbly knees contest for the dads and the cul de sac was closed to traffic. My swimming teacher was in the local paper as she looked like Diana and I have it all in a scrap book so I have great memories. A couple of my neighbours are having a p1ss up(not hard they are a mother and daughter team of alkies) in the gardens here and if the weather is nice I shall pop along but I know the mother will get drunk and start banging on about how wonderful her dead husband was-"he was brilliant. a lovely guy, I wish you could have met him" me " I did, we were neighbours for six years before he died". This conversation happens every single time I go round for a drink, and this pair really drink wine like water. One time the daughter came round mine - p1ssed- late one night and she was well up for it but it just happened to be the one weekend of the year when my parents were here and although they had gone to bed they must have heard us 'cos Emma is proper loud but I thought sod it, its my house and how often do you get someone beating down your door this horny? So I will be getting loads of drink in and some candles......

Noooooo. Stop it. you are making me laugh. Oh my gosh. Is this for real? :rotfl::eek:

worried_jim

savingwannabe wrote: »

Noooooo. Stop it. you are making me laugh. Oh my gosh. Is this for real? :rotfl::eek:

I'm afraid to say it is very true but she is a proper ten to two'er, a five pinter, a go ugly early etc etc.

savingwannabe

Jimbo what happened to the nice lady you gave flowers to?

I am meeting Janet and Erika and we are wearing tiaras (gotta buy one hope they are not expensive) and having a party. A bunch of mad women getting madder - you have to try everything once.

One of the guys at work had a 3-some in a bath during the silver jubilee. Everytime i see him i laugh I used to really respect him till he told me that. Sometimes people just tell you too much!!!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

worried_jim

I've bought lots of flowers for lots of nice ladies who generally turn out to be not that nice. I like buying flowers for ladies, it makes me feel human in some strange way.

I was commenting to a colleague on Friday that I have been really lucky and not been struck down with a bad cold for a couple of years. So I am off today with a cold from hell. I am sneezing for Britain today and my nose is so sore for blowing it all weekend. Fortunately the sore throat which started on Saturday morning has gone so hopefully I'll be back at work tomorrow, I just don't want to be spraying my work friends with my diseases today.

I was expecting Pat to be moving in yesterday but I was tipped off that he won't be coming and can't be bothered to let me know. I sent him a friendly text yesterday and got no reply so that kind of confirms it. This has really dropped me in it as I still owe £555 annual maintenance and £250 to the racist pensioner. I advertised again on Saturday morning and the only reply I got was from a French vegan chef (not going to be the funniest guy ever) but then last night things started to look up when a local chap going thru a divorce called me and he is coming round to view tonight and it sounds pretty promising as he has to get out of the marital home asap.
Hopefully he'll be in by the end of the week and I'll have £400 deposit and £400 months rent which will sort me out nicely.

There has been quite a bit in the press recently about the inland revenue getting in contact as a million people has underpaid thier taxes. I have had a letter from them stating that I owe £86 due to a mis calculation to a benefit in kind I receive thru work, at least I think that is what the letter meant as it was all in government googly gook, until the next day (Friday) I got a cheque from them for £86! which means I now have £90 to last me to pay day, I don't know how I manage but I always seem to scrape thru. It's a good job I don't believe in God otherwise I would be on my knees facing Mecca praying half the time for the next financial miracle to get me out which ever disaster I face. Maybe there is a God and this is his way of letting me know he is looking out for me, nah jog on Jehovah your are just a stone age fictional character. (thanks for the cash though mate).

If I do get the money sorted out this week I have been invited to an all day bender in town on Good Friday which I said I wouldn't go because it is too far, too expensive and I am too old, but there is a young lady in the office who I have a little thing for, she is not stunning in the traditional sense and she does have a bf (never stopped me before) but she is substantially younger than me, has a pierced tongue (and we all know what that means) and a filthy sense of humour and keeps dropping dirty little hints, so it could prove worthwhile.

savingwannabe

Sorry about housemate and tax thing.

You are so funny. Weather is gorgeous today. I picked up a cold day before my hols started, then 'puter died and cost £250 + to repair, but there have been fab times too. Good luck with tongue girl. Still laughing. Just found out one of my male friends has a piercing down below. Life is soo funny.