Just how normal IS this revolting teenage mess?

Steph998

sooz wrote: »

start behaving like his LL then!

Charge him rent & then send a letter, giving them a deadline for a proper inspection.

Oh come on....we're also his parents! This is not a typical let, with neither party being involved, not to mention related.

I may be horrified at the mess, and want to help him to help himself...but I am not about to start sending my own son letters.....

Rikki

Steph998 wrote: »

Thanks all...I sort of didn't want to get into the 'are we right or wrong to let him live in a flat rent free thing again'. We do....for our own reasons; why he had to move out, because we don't want to make money out of him, and he can't afford it. He does take responsibility for his living expenses.

So...do landlords come round and make you tidy up?

Landlords normally give 24 hours notice prior to coming round for any reason, including house inspections. Most student can get regular visits and is a good incentive for a good tidy up.

Your his Mum and he won't see it the same.

edit: You'll just be seen as nagging. He doesn't see this as a normal student let. Its a home you are providing for him rent free instead of living with you.

Kavanne

Why? He clearly hasn't responded so far.

You might love him but one day you aren't going to be around cajole him, are you? Not a nice thought but it's true.

LittleCharlie

Steph998 wrote: »

So...do landlords come round and make you tidy up?

No... Landlords have to give 48 hours notice before visiting a tennant for any reason, and I believe are not allowed to enter the property without the tennants permission.

Is it untidy or is it actually disgusting? Because I'm extremely untidy, but I'm rarely dirty if that makes sense. Yeah I'll leave washing up for three or four days, and the bin might overflow (and jesus, when I worked in a leisure centre I HATED going home and cleaning the shower), but it was never anything that would permanently damage the flat.

If it's just untidy, like others said, he'll soon tidy up when he wants to get laid...

Dill

It sounds like one of those houses Kim and Aggie go and visit :eek: :rotfl:

Unfortunately it happens a lot that students live like this when they leave their mum and dad's house. At the end of the academic year Student Halls very often have to get professionals in to clear up the muck. One of my flatmates at uni even admitted to having had mice in her old student house, -they just didn't bother to clean the place.

If you are the LL I think I'd just say to him, keep it clean or cough up for the professional cleaners once the academic year has ended. (or before!) I don't want to scaremonger, but I'd also be worried about possible pest infestations happening if there's old food lying around.

Steph998

Rikki wrote: »

. He doesn't see this as a normal student let. Its a home you are providing for him rent free instead of living with you.

Couldn't have put it better myself. And we as his parents consider it the same.

Thanks.

foreign_correspondent

I think the quick answer is that, yes, this revolting mess is normal, it seems to be a stage for many young men...

... but then so are harsh consequences (or at least the threat of) - which is perhaps what stops most people from still living like this for ever!!

I think you need to be really assertive and get him to sort his act out - i also feel it is quite difficult to study and have good mental health whilst living in mess and squalor.

skintchick

Steph998 wrote: »

Couldn't have put it better myself. And we as his parents consider it the same.

Thanks.

In which case, if he were at home how would you deal with it? Then do the same.

PasturesNew

GreyPilgrim wrote: »

If the landlord comes around and finds the place in such I tip I think he would be less than pleased...have you suggested to your son that he could find himself homeless and minus his deposit?

It's not the landlord's business how dirty somebody is. The landlord is only interested that when they move out it is as clean/tidy as when the tenancy started.

Nobody is evicted for being slovenly. No deposit can be deducted if the place is pristine when a tenant leaves. You can't deduct money from a deposit because it used to be dirty at one point some time in the tenancy.

Steph998

Kavanne wrote: »

Why? He clearly hasn't responded so far.

You might love him but one day you aren't going to be around cajole him, are you? Not a nice thought but it's true.

Well hopefully.... :money:..... by the time I am not around, he will have matured (as some of the people on here have mentioned) to the point where he is living as a normal human being. I hope to God I am not still posting like this when he is 44.