Leaving my husband

Sharlee

rolo-polo1965 wrote: »

Just spoke to soliciter she told me:

• Courts sent the divorce papers out to him on 23-04-09
• We both need to fillin a financial disclosure form
• Will i attend mediation to discuss money, i said yes. So she will write to hubby
• Need to get property valued by 3 different estate agents
• With regards to the joint load, i should be paying half of it, but i could get in touch with loan company and pay them half of it direct
• He can not change the locks without a court order banning me from the house as he has not done this i can use reasonable force and enter the property, she would not advise me to do this just tell him when i want to go round and he has to let me in

I thought i should let you know, she will not write to hubby telling him about mediation and see what he says. She will write to me confirming what we spoke about.

Sorry, I haven't read the whole thread but would like to make the point that if you are married (even if you haven't contributed to the mortgage) you have 'marital home rights' and are entitled to occupy and enter the marital home, unless there is a court order preventing you from doing so

Also, in these situations, if you think that there are going to be any problems (eg going to collect stuff from your former home) you can ask the police to attend with you which they will do to prevent a breach of the peace.

Good luck
Sharlee

yoni_one

rolo-polo1965 wrote: »

He tells me that whatever he decides he is screwed.

He really should have thought of that before he became a bully shouldn't he?

The wheels may feel they are in slow motion but you have done such a lot in a short time.

Continued respect to you rolo x

kiwichick

Hi Rolo,

I've sat down this evening and read this thread from the begining. I so empathise with you and wanted to tell you what an absolute inspiration you are to me.

I have this week decided to file for divorce from my husband of 9 years. He has been sexually abusive to me during the last 7 years which I have hated but put up with. We tried relate and he said all the right things but reverted to type within one week of stopping the sessions.

He is now under investigation by the police and social services with regard to disclosures made by our 2 daughters about possible sexual abuse. He hasnt been allowed physical contact with us for the last week and the children have all been interviewed (recorded) by the police and my youngest had to endure a full medical and internal, heartbreaking as she is only 4.

I made contact with a lawyer today so will be setting in motion the same slow wheels as you.

Just wanted to tell you what an amazing thing you have done, for both yourself and your children.

Al x

rolo-polo1965

I just wanted to give you my support in what you have done, you have made a giant step in the right direction.

If i can be of any suport to you feel free to PM me

kiwichick wrote: »

Hi Rolo,

I've sat down this evening and read this thread from the begining. I so empathise with you and wanted to tell you what an absolute inspiration you are to me.

I have this week decided to file for divorce from my husband of 9 years. He has been sexually abusive to me during the last 7 years which I have hated but put up with. We tried relate and he said all the right things but reverted to type within one week of stopping the sessions.

He is now under investigation by the police and social services with regard to disclosures made by our 2 daughters about possible sexual abuse. He hasnt been allowed physical contact with us for the last week and the children have all been interviewed (recorded) by the police and my youngest had to endure a full medical and internal, heartbreaking as she is only 4.

I made contact with a lawyer today so will be setting in motion the same slow wheels as you.

Just wanted to tell you what an amazing thing you have done, for both yourself and your children.

Al x

Sharlee

kiwichick wrote: »

Hi Rolo,

I've sat down this evening and read this thread from the begining. I so empathise with you and wanted to tell you what an absolute inspiration you are to me.

I have this week decided to file for divorce from my husband of 9 years. He has been sexually abusive to me during the last 7 years which I have hated but put up with. We tried relate and he said all the right things but reverted to type within one week of stopping the sessions.

He is now under investigation by the police and social services with regard to disclosures made by our 2 daughters about possible sexual abuse. He hasnt been allowed physical contact with us for the last week and the children have all been interviewed (recorded) by the police and my youngest had to endure a full medical and internal, heartbreaking as she is only 4.

I made contact with a lawyer today so will be setting in motion the same slow wheels as you.

Just wanted to tell you what an amazing thing you have done, for both yourself and your children.

Al x

I can't imagine what you are feeling right now but maybe this organisation can be of help if you think you need some support with what you are going through:

http://www.mosac.org.uk/mosac/

Regards
Sharlee

rolo-polo1965

Recieved a letter from soliciter,

• she has written to hubby telling him he should not have changed locks
• She has sent him and me financial discosure forms which we both need to fill in

He has emailed me telling me he has signed the courts divorce acknowlegment form but we will see. Soliciter tells me she will find out from the courts as soon as they recieve it back so i shall just have to wait.

He keeps sending me stupid emails telling me loves me at the begining then at the end that its all my fault.

Nevermind i just file them in case i need them.

Thanks for all your support

yoni_one

Still here rolo, and reading your updates with interest, thanks for posting them.

He is nowhere near accepting responsibility for his own behaviour, and may never do so.

As horrible as all this is to face, I hope you are feeling empowered by your actions.

Stay strong xxx

kiwichick

I've just been given an apt for 10.30 wednesday to see a lawyer, I'm bricking it and sad as well but know I'm doing the right thing.

yoni_one

kiwichick wrote: »

I've just been given an apt for 10.30 wednesday to see a lawyer, I'm bricking it and sad as well but know I'm doing the right thing.

I know this is Rolo's thread and it may be helpful to you start one of your own, but Kiwichick, if you haven't already accessed help from Womens Aid I strongly urge you to at least call the helpline in my signature and take from there.

If the service is available in your area we can offer you tons of support and information that may open up options you didn't know you had.

You have taken a really really positive step and it is not going to be a walk in the park so finding out what help is out there may be a good thing for you.

Stay safe. xx

rolo-polo1965

kiwichick wrote: »

I've just been given an apt for 10.30 wednesday to see a lawyer, I'm bricking it and sad as well but know I'm doing the right thing.

I hope everything went ok.

Feel free to PM me if you want to chat, if you want i will then give you my email address.

Take care