Leaving my husband

jackie_w

Rolo polo, I have only read one page of your post, and felt I had to reply.

Im not in an abusive/unhappy marriage, but, my mum was, so, I just wanted to let you know what it feels like from a childs point of view.

I know that my mum did what she felt was best for us, she didnt leave my dad until me and my sister had left the house, but, I wished she had left when we were little.

I absolutely hated my childhood, and would never ever turn back the clock for all the money in the world.

My dad was/still is an alcoholic, and I resent him for what he put us through. I love him with all my heart, but, he made life miserible for us.

if you havent done so, please please please for the sake of yourself and your childrens happiness, please seek advice and leave him.

Jackie xx

yoni_one

Jackie, rolo has left him, have a look over the past few pages, she has done amazingly well.

jackie_w

Hi Yoni,,

Have just read the rest of the post. Im so glad for her.

Rolo, I wish you all the best for the future. You have done the right thing in leaving. Now you will be able to have inner peace.


Jackie xx

Witsend_2

Rolo you are an inspiration I cannot begin to tell you how I admire your courrage. I wish you and your dear children a wonderful life be happy and look forward to a loving Christmas together very best wishes x

TurnaroundSue

Stay strong rolo and remember all the BAD times, as he will try and get you to remember the good ones!! I really know how much guts it takes to leave someone you love, but you and your children deserve a happy life, where you can lie in bed at night and know that you are all safe.

Take care and sending lots of hugs:grouphug:

msb5262

Hello again Rolo,
Hope you're doing ok. You have done so well; all the posters on this thread (and many lurking, I'm sure) are really proud of you. I hope you're taking some time to think how to proceed - it is incredibly difficult to think of making this a forever split, but please please think carefully before you take any steps which will move you backwards from this point. I know you probably feel that your husband will now understand where you're coming from and will change his behaviour, but as many women will tell you, this is unlikely. Whatever you do, make haste slowly.
Thinking very much of you and sending love and strength
Harriet x

rolo-polo1965

Monday
We have all been to work and school today.
He is trying all the emotional blackmail tricks in the book.
The girls went there for tea tonight and to fethch the dog back as i let him have her yesterday to take for a walk and thenkeep her over night.
They were rather upset when he dropped them off.
They explained that they had all had a cry.
He told them to tell me he is sorry and can i ever forgive him.
He likes getting the texts of the kids but each time they make him cry.
I have agreed to meet him Friday night on neutral ground for a chat.
He msn me a message today telling me :
I am sorry
You deserve better
I will never do it again
Please forgive me
I am no one without you
Can we try for another 3 months if it does not work then i will leave

I dont know what to do.
I need proof he has changed not just words.
Sorry is an easy word to say, but its the meaning that is harder
Well it is nice and quiet here, the kids are in bed.
Its just me and the dog.
I will update with info as it happens.
Once again thanks every one for your love and support

Stephb1986_2

Well done Rolo your one hell of a woman! You have done the right thing. What with the can we try for another 3 months sure enough if the last 3 months didnt work whats going to make the next 3 months work? I know he's the father to your kids and you want whats best for them but now you've moved out into a new house and everything is it fair on them to move again?

If he didn't change last time whats the chances of him changing now hun?

Be true to yourself. Think of your kids and what they are seeing. I've been there and done that as a child myself seeing what happened to my mum i remember that now at 22 years old, I hate my dad and wish he was dead I haven't seen him since i was 7 do you really want your kids to feel like that about their dad in a few years time?

Stay strong hun

sending loadsa cyber hugs and kisses for you all

Steph xx

lisaloo1977

Well done on everything so far.

I just have to say that only you know how you are really feeling about everything. I am not saying go back to him and i am not saying dont, just take time to work out what you want.

You have shown him you are strong enough to leave and maybe that has shocked him in to seeing you in a different light, maybe he is sorry, who knows.

I do not think it is right of anyone to influence or try to influence you though, this is your decision and everyone will be here for you whatever you decide.

I think meeting him is good, i think showing you can meet up with him shows even more strength.

You have your new home now, if you do decide to see what happens then you have the ability to do it from a distance and slowly.

Good Luck and big hugs.

jay11_2

You're doing so well rolo, you know him best, is it honestly worth risking going back to that situation? He knows that you have the strength to leave now so would watch out for that...

Would you advise your DD, sister, or best friend, to go back to a man if she'd been through what you have?

I think I'd at least want to know that he'd been through some sort of anger management or counselling before even considering going back. Though to be honest I wouldn't consider staying with my OH, much as I love him, if he'd behaved like that. Please give yourself time to recover and get out of 'victim mentality' before making any changes, you are only responsible for you and your children now, not for your ex-DH.