OH's children-aargh

coldstreamalways

I just wanted a quick rant,?

daphne_descends

Being 14 is bloody hard. Being 14 and not having your dad around is harder still. Being 14, not having your dad around, and being described as a leech by his fiance, quite frankly, must suck. Cut her some slack. Poor kid.

Dill

Do they behave like that in their mum's house?? Perhaps it's a habit they've got into. They may have picked up on the fact that your husband feels a bit guilty and are trying it on a bit.. you know how kids can be, they're pretty smart, lol.
If their behaviour's bothering you it might be worth trying to talk to them (in a non-confrontational way)

coldstreamalways

daphne_descends wrote: »

Being 14 is bloody hard. Being 14 and not having your dad around is harder still. Being 14, not having your dad around, and being described as a leech by his fiance, quite frankly, must suck. Cut her some slack. Poor kid.

I was asking for advice Daphne [con]descends. You don't know much about the situation so I would appreciate it if you didn't judge.

Because she is the youngest and the only girl, her mum totally dotes on her, she does play them off against each other which causes yet more friction. Being perceptive as children are, she does get the whole guilt thing and it really stresses her dad out. Last week we arranged to take her to the cinema with a friend, she turned up with three friends and said "it's ok if they all come isn't it dad?" add cinema tickets, lunch, popcorn and the fact that we had to drive around dropping them off at home afterwards. Her dad just wants to spend time with her but it seems like she just wants to see how far she can push him.

belfastgirl23

I would cultivate not letting it annoy me. And never ever under any circumstances say a single critical thing about it....this is a total minefield. If you have built a good relationship with them so far, why risk it for a few quid. Unless you are really strapped for cash, in which case it would be about trying to find places to cut back rather than accusing them of being wasteful.

As far as I can see too kids do treat their parents as walking cash machines, especially when they're in their teenage years. And they are probably expressing anger at your DH by asking for stuff as well. Which isn't nice but it is understandable.

frugallass

don't take it personally is all I can say

my 16 year old constantly moans about how 'starvin' she is yet only ever eats about half of what I put on her plate, five minutes later she's in the fridge looking for something cos she's 'starvin' again

I now just put smaller portions on the plate (leaving enough spare for 'seconds')

ps I don't allow fizzy drinks with meals

frugallass

coldstreamalways wrote: »

Last week we arranged to take her to the cinema with a friend, she turned up with three friends and said "it's ok if they all come isn't it dad?"

Lesson learned ? = specify next time that only 1 friend allowed

Good luck x

arlybarly

I thought all teenagers saw their parents as a constant money bank, i dont think its just because they dont live with their dad i think thats just the way some of them are.

simpywimpy

I agree , I think it's normal teenage behaviour - especially with girls. Mine never eats a full plate and always moans at whatever is on the menu etc. She thinks money is a never ending supply solely for her benefit too...

I wouldn't take it personally but I would perhaps have a quiet word with your other half and see if you can meet half way with it between yourselves but I doubt it. My 22yr old never seems to have enough petrol in his car to stop the red light coming on. He's left home now but I still fall soft and give him the money to get to his hospital appointments.

1sue23

i am sorry but that is teenagers for you, they can be selfish I know mine were just bear with it ,bite your lip and wait for it to pass seems impossible at times but it does get better.
Good luck.

Debt_Free_Chick

Sounds like a normal hormonal 14 yo to me. Of course they don't get "waste" and the cost of food etc. And they won't learn it at that age either.

As far as they know, everything they need is just "beamed" to them by their parents.

I guarantee if she were your daughter, she'd be exactly the same. I was going to suggest the smaller portions too - and shield yourself from the annoyance.... just don't allow it to ignore you. Expect it to happen and then shrug to yourself when it does.

HTH