Is it me?

searching_me

notlongnow i am already just alittle i always like the idea of that if he walked out i never had his money so i wouldnt miss it ... but now i need him .. if any of that made sense x

notlongnow_2

Makes perfect sense. But if you both worked then you would be no worse off than you are now...and you are coping. You seem to be doing a brill job supporting your family. But I do think that he needs to bring something in. Esp now DD is at school. What about security job? Night porter in a hotel? These jobs are ten a penny (straight from the horses mouth, im not just presuming).

There ARE jobs for him but looks like its up to you to push him in that direction? Do you work full time? Would it be easy to juggle your DD childcare between both of you?

kittiej

At the end of the day it depends on what you want.

What would happen if your OH was to get a job? Would you still be able to go to college or uni? Would the childcare be there for you?

I have 1 in school and 1 in childcare, when it's school holidays I pay £250, otherwise I pay £150 per week, could you really manage if OH worked?

searching_me

already looked in to security you need a licence... i work part time 18-20hrs per weeks bring home about £400 if he worked i could quit and just do this teaching course then go in to paid teaching assistant which pays very well but with everything thats gone on ive missed so much i do know if they are gonna kick me off ... see more stress grrrrr x

kittiej

If you only do 18-20 hours then I think you are probable overtired due to the pregnancy. I know how you feel but please try to stick it out, it might seem like your OH has the easier deal buit it probably isn't the case.

Have you considered studies with the Open University? You would certainly be eligible for payments towards the costs, though you would more than likely have to bear part costs but they can tell you how much.

At the very least you should explain toyour college that you are pregnant and feel ill iykwim it will give you a credible excuse for any none attendance though only from the time you were pregnant

I really hope you can work through this.

What does your OH think or feel?

searching_me

you say only but i work 3 10-6 or 10-4 i spend 1 full day at college and 1 full school day at my placement and the weekend is took up by either trying to spend time with my mini family or getting stuff done or ready for the week ahead (generally done on a sunday) they know im pg i told them this week my tutor seemed very nice about it im just worring about everything just before i lost the last one we were just about out of the red only about £100 to go now its much more and thats before i even started thinkin about things for this pg...
my oh knows how far we are in poop he knows he has to get a job even if its weekends i know we wont see each other much but a few months just to get ourselves above water seems a fair trade dont you think x

kittiej

But why are you trying to do everything at once?

I worked 5 days and did an OU course, my OH doesn't do housey things either and I already had a son.

It wore me out and I really struggled so much so that I ended up with PND.

I know it's a stressfull time but please try not to let things get on top of you after all youth is on your side.

I just hope you don't fall out with your OH, please try to work through this together.

He must be 1 in a million if he's OK with DD being some one elses? Not many could do that believe me.

I don't want to justify what he doesn't do ie work, I just want to show you that he's not all bad and I hate to see people arguing.

I wish you all well xxxx

searching_me

i know my oh aint bad he is a very loving man and a wonderful father i just wish he could ease of the pressure that i ... i took on the course way before i was pg but i dont want to give it up as i know it will benefit me and my family in the long run... i think my problem is i try not to depend on people so that if they go i wont miss them or the things ive come to relie on them for x

nothavingfun..

searching-me WHY CAN YOUR OH NOT DO VOLUNTARY WORK IN ORDER TO GET A PAID JOB?

sorry for caps but i am infuriated on your behalf - would be easier for you if you were single !!!!!!!

searching_me

i never said he couldnt its just we wanted him to try the paid route first x