Is it me?

nothavingfun..

aww hun i really feel for you!

don't you dare feel bad!

you need to get your man to get off his !!!! and take ANY job! If he has no experience then he should do voluntary work around his interviews.

how far gone are you? (sorry if its in your op) you will need to stop working when you get far enough along, and he needs to be in a job by then. some voluntary work will look FAB on his CV, and i'd be shocked if he didn't get a job within the next 4-8wks if he signs up to do some asap

remind him that prolonged absences from work look awful on a CV and voluntary work looks great!

searching_me

never mind prolonged hes never had one... im 8 weeks gone x

nothavingfun..

searching_me wrote: »

never mind prolonged hes never had one... im 8 weeks gone x

cold hard advice you say? that man needs to work, paid or unpaid ASAP in order to secure a future for his family

if you are 8wks then he has a bit of time to sort himself up, but tbh if you have had problems in the past with pregnancy and stress then I would be making him get his bum in gear pronto!

nothavingfun..

ps - i am all for equality, and have noooo problems whatsoever with men staying home to mind the kids - its great if a child can have a parent in attendance at home.. BUT if you are pregnant and stressed, then he should get a job to care for you and his family - i know i'm stating the obvious, but just didnt want you to think i was a man hater :rotfl:

i'm far from it - i'm a single mum and tbh jealous of you girls that have men to boss about (and believe me i would... maybe thats why i'm single ):D

Barneysmom

Why has he never had a job? Is he lazy or ill?

oystercatcher

I agree with what they are saying about getting him to look for a job .

I just wanted to point out that I can understand why he's upset that you kept smoking a secret. You should be communicating about what you are both doing and spending. It's what couples do (or what they should do)

Just be honest , I slipped up today and bought a packet of cigs, at least then he knows and maybe he can help you try to give up. You know you should and I know it's not easy ! Talk about what you find hard and what he finds hard and try and help each other to achieve things together so it's not all one giving and the other taking.

It's quite an achievement to get to 26 and have never had a job ! I'm sure there must be some sort of training programmes he can go on from the job centre, learn skills etc. He needs to have something or to have done some voluntary work to prove that he has some skills and something to offer.
The way things are at the moment a lot of people are looking for jobs.

Good luck
Oystercatcher

searching_me

we had to get off jobseekers for reason a) they werent happy me being on it b) i hate that look of "o your a young mother on jobseeker" so we both started looking and agree whoever got a job first we would take it no matter what just so we had an income which happened to be me ... now its been 2 and half years and things are still in the same situation only one of us could work at the time coz of the age of my dd now shes in full time school its easier ish to sort out something else...
at first i was just happy to have an income coming in now the work is just dragging me down x

fernliebee

He definitely needs to get a job!! But then we all know this especially the OP and more than likely her OH too. Do you think he lacks the confidence to get a job as he has never had one? I know that sounds a bit wishy washy but somebody already said it is easier to get a job, once you already have one. If the confidence thing is an issue he should approach something like 'manpower' or ACE I don't know if this is just a local thing?? But basically they help you get interviews etc...He should not use this as an excuse, but recognise it as a challenge to overcome. Why should you have to do everything!! I might be way off mark n he's just a bit lazy!

searching_me

oyster- hes 25 and i partly blame his mother she wrapped him his bro and his sis in cotton wool his sister has had the same problem she 29 still lives at home she got so much education that when she goes for a normal retail job just to get an income they say shes over qualified... i say partly he left college 3 years ago so x

searching_me

i wouldnt say lazy id say comfy x