What to charge DS for housekeeping?

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
72 replies 3.2K views
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  • helping_hubbyhelping_hubby Forumite
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    skintchick wrote: »
    Alternatively, just charge him £200 for his room but make him provide and cook his own food, do his own washing, etc.

    Basically get him used to real life outside the home because the other thing to bear in mind is that if he is lazy and unable to cook, wash, look afterhimself then he is no use to a future girlfriend/wife!

    You owe it to women everywhere to ensure he is a useful partner in future!

    Totally agree. My OH lived at home until he was 27 and moved in with me. He'd never even switched on a washing machine before! He paid no rent, had everything done for him. I personally think this is a part of why he got into money trouble. He had no clue as to what things cost. Even when we moved in together his mum and dad were still giving him £50 here and there.

    However it's not all bad....luckily my husband has been trainable and he knows how to switch on a washing machine and a tumble dryer...although it seems the throwing of socks on the floor and not being able to put them in the wash basket is going to be something I need to learn to live with :rolleyes:
  • skintchickskintchick Forumite
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    I think Op you have to not be afraid of upsetting him - you are actually doing him a favour teaching him a life lesson and you can always save some of the money up for him for later, when he wants to move out and get his own place.

    My parents, had I not moved out,would not have let me live there for free and I am grateful for the lessons they taught me about earning oyur own money and paying your own way in life.
    :cool: DFW Nerd Club member 023...DFD 9.2.2007 :cool:
    :heartpuls married 21 6 08 :A Angel babies' birth dates 3.10.08 * 4.3.11 * 11.11.11 * 17.3.12 * 2.7.12 :heart2: My live baby's birth date 22 7 09 :heart2: I'm due another baby at the end of July 2014! :j
  • skintchickskintchick Forumite
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    Totally agree. My OH lived at home until he was 27 and moved in with me. He'd never even switched on a washing machine before! He paid no rent, had everything done for him. I personally think this is a part of why he got into money trouble. He had no clue as to what things cost. Even when we moved in together his mum and dad were still giving him £50 here and there.

    However it's not all bad....luckily my husband has been trainable and he knows how to switch on a washing machine and a tumble dryer...although it seems the throwing of socks on the floor and not being able to put them in the wash basket is going to be something I need to learn to live with :rolleyes:


    That's what I mean. I was single ten years but refused to date a guy who had never lived o his own and looked after himself because I didn;t want someone I had to look after.

    My husband is very housetrained and I'm glad I made sure he was! I'd hate to have to train him from scratch! :rotfl:
    :cool: DFW Nerd Club member 023...DFD 9.2.2007 :cool:
    :heartpuls married 21 6 08 :A Angel babies' birth dates 3.10.08 * 4.3.11 * 11.11.11 * 17.3.12 * 2.7.12 :heart2: My live baby's birth date 22 7 09 :heart2: I'm due another baby at the end of July 2014! :j
  • tarajaynetarajayne Forumite
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    Surely when you work you pay your way. He should be covering your costs and if he wants extras like washing etc, he pays towards it. People who keep their children when they're working are not giving the life skills to manage on their own. Someone I work with has all 4 of her adult children at home living free. She is a fantastic mum but worn out. And they have had money problems (the kids) which is probably because they have never had to manage finances. The DD has just gone back after getting deeply into debt. Guess who's helping her out. Both my older girls 19 and 20 live away from home and I can honestly say we have a fantastic relationship and I have never lent them a penny. Until they left they paid keep and did chores.
    Too many children, too little time!!!
    :p
  • Really grateful for the replies, and so glad so many are in agreement that I should ask for help. I also have friends who let their working kids live with them for nothing and it does tend to make you feel guilty that you can't afford to do the same. When I started work I had to give my Dad (brought me up himself) part of my first wage. I remember being really miffed because I wanted to keep my first wage all to myself like my friends got to do. Of course looking back now I can see it from his point of view. :o
  • 1sue231sue23 Forumite
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    starbump wrote: »
    No one will agree with me but I wouldn't charge my child for living in the family home. He's going to be leaving home soon and no amount of money will make up for it. However, that's just my opinion and not a criticism of the OP.

    These threads may be useful:
    Working children paying keep - how much?
    Once your kids are earning should you charge them housekeeping?
    Adult son starting 1st job - how much should he pay (staying at home)?

    My son would be insulted if I did not take money from him as he says you have done your bit I am an adult now and it is time I paid my way ,he comes out with £900.00 and gives me £200 he also pays for a lot of his own food does all his own washing etc ,he saves £400 a month .
  • I think i would tell him you want him to start paying when he gets his wages next,i think charging him will help with future budgeting.
    :j
  • jackiebjackieb Forumite
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    After reading this thread I feel the need to ask for more from my ds! He's 24yo and has just got a payrise. I ask for £120 a month but he's only here 3 weeks out of 5 (works away from home). He's careful with his money, and he does save, and at the moment he's saving for the deposit for a house. I don't think he costs me £120 to have him live here, so I wouldn't like to think i'm profitting from him living here. I'm happy if I just break even. :)
  • skintchickskintchick Forumite
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    BillyBear wrote: »
    Really grateful for the replies, and so glad so many are in agreement that I should ask for help. I also have friends who let their working kids live with them for nothing and it does tend to make you feel guilty that you can't afford to do the same. When I started work I had to give my Dad (brought me up himself) part of my first wage. I remember being really miffed because I wanted to keep my first wage all to myself like my friends got to do. Of course looking back now I can see it from his point of view. :o

    No! You are not 'asking for help' you are TELLING him to pay his way!

    Do not approach this as him doing you a favour!
    :cool: DFW Nerd Club member 023...DFD 9.2.2007 :cool:
    :heartpuls married 21 6 08 :A Angel babies' birth dates 3.10.08 * 4.3.11 * 11.11.11 * 17.3.12 * 2.7.12 :heart2: My live baby's birth date 22 7 09 :heart2: I'm due another baby at the end of July 2014! :j
  • Skintchick - of course you are right. I think I need to change my attitude as well as him. Thanks for that. x
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