Does Being broke turn you into a grump

Moozer

Icka,
Don't feel bad - you made some good points, and to be honest I was thinking the same when I read Glen's thread.

I know what you mean about shoes, I love them :T . The pointier, higher and more impractical they are the more I like them. I have to be strict on myself as I'm on my feet for most of the day at work so if I bought shoes like that I couldn't really wear them. Shoes costing about £50-100 were my weakness, although I very rarely gave in I would find myself trying to justify the cost and plan to cut down on food etc to afford them. My solution was to go to Harrods and look at the designer shoes in the shoe boudoir - I can admire them, pick them up and fantasise about them but I'm in no danger of buying them as they are so expensive (one pair was £2800 - on a pair of shoes!!!!!! ). It helps put things into perspective - I can admire them but I know that deep down they are not worth it and no amout of cost cutting would mean I could afford them. I do the same with jewellery.

Sad I know but I pretend it is a bit like an art gallery, it's free and it keeps me happy! :rotfl:

GirlRacer_2

Hi Icka,

Please don't feel bad, I'm debt free and even though I could spend £200 per month on entertainment, what a waste! Whilst becoming debt free I found lots of cheap ways of having fun and now I find that I'm much more careful with money. I don't begrudge anybody anything but when somebody speaks about the £120 they spend on a pair of boots I do wonder which form of credit they used to purchase it. Call me cynical.

You'll have much more satisfaction becoming debt free, believe me hun.

x

Seaxwyn

Hi icka

Don't feel bad - your reply to Glen was spot on.

I am definitely a grump and a nasty bitter person sometimes. Luckily I am fairly immune to shoes but I get so jealous when people talk about holidays. I'm surrounded by friends and families who are forever taking off on little breaks here and there, and it makes me want to cry with envy. I just have to remind myself that I got myself into debt and they didn't, and I have plenty of good things going for me too. We'll get there, and think how much we will enjoy our treats when we can afford them.

Icewytch

I wouldn`t say I was grumpy, exactly, but do become very withdrawn and that makes folks think I`m standoffish. But what`s going on is that my debts and lack of ability to see a solution takes over my every waking thought....I have literally worried myself sick lately.
And when I`m so worried, I get all quiet and find it hard to concentrate on what`s happening beyond the tight black circle that is my debts and lack of money.
I think when we are in such trouble, the wealth and luck of others serves just to reinforce our own misfortune. So it`s only human nature to resent it a little, to wish it was us instead (or as well as! ) and to feel excluded and incredibly lonely.
I think being in financial trouble can make us seem `outcasts` of a kind, looking `in` like a child at a sweet shop window, knowing things could be different but not finding the way to make it so.
I live from day to day and can`t see a foreseeable date for being debt free. My health is beginning to suffer and it`s only force of will that keeps me going, and hope for some kind of normal future returning.
When I see others blithely spending a small fortune on holidays abroad or a new car when their `old` one would be brand spanking new to me, then it just reinforces my own position. And somehow, makes me feel ashamed of myself.

debbiemc_2

Hi :wave:

I wouldn't say I get grumpy, but certainly envious at times. A friend of mine finds it amazing that I keep a spreadsheet detailing my income and outgoings, and can tell at any point in time over the next 6 months how much will be in the bank. She never knows how much is in her account, and just uses her card whenever she likes, without considering what the funds are in her account. Her parents are wealthy, and they bail her out whenever she needs it. I'm sometimes envious and incredulous at the same time at how she fritters her money away. However, for the most part, I'm glad that I'm independent, can stand on my own two feet and can provide for myself and my daughter. My debts consist of a loan and a credit card balance to clear, are manageable and the end is in sight. I focus on the fact that I am as prepared as I can be for possible difficult times ahead.

Debbie. x

raq

Great post .

I know how you are feeling. Although I would never left the big green eyed monster out within company I would go home and actually cry without anybody around. Just made me feel better. Tiny things like when we only had the 1 child both working full time, plus the odd overtime and could never afford to have toast from the canteen in work. This at the time was only 0.25p per slice but use to sit there and watch a few of the team just eat happily away without a care in the world. I always took sandwiches, plus I was watching my weight at the time.

Good close friends of mine went out , for meals and lots of drinking every wekend about 5 years ago. It use to amaze myself and partner how they did it as only one wage was coming in . had 2 children aswell. They went through £250.00 every weekend and we couldn't even stregth to one weekend in a month. both of us working aswell. We later found out that the hubby got paid cash every friday and never declared anything to the tax man for a whole year. They are now feeling the pinch just like the rest of us and only go out once a month. Plus they also have another baby.


I sit and talk to my hubby when I am feeling low and I am a nice person and would never want to show jealousy.

tasha999

Sometimes yes! Many of my friends and family are very well off! We're getting better at saying "sorry but we can't afford it" as much as I hate being the one left out. I could just cry a lot of the time, but we got ourselves into this mess and now are dealing with it. It's very easy to be resentful of others, but I've got very good at finding cheaper alternatives! We should be debt free in about six years (fingers crossed) which seems a lifetime at the minute. I just can't wait for the day when I don't owe a penny!!

beckseven

This rang a chord with me. If i ever go into wAitrose-to buy milk or something-i always look at the yummy mummies dressed immaculately with their children in private school uniforms and feel envious-even that they can afford to shop in Waitrose! I also read Glen's post and thought i would love to have £200 to spend on entertainment! Mind you I would hate to be in the position of being bored in the evening if I didn't go out-I work four days a week and have a two and a half year old and am 7 months pregnant so at 7pm after I have put DS to bed, then done ironing, made dinner and prepared for the next day and done chores I think it is a great treat to sit on the sofa and watch Heros or Desparate housewives! Maybe I'm just sad! I think when your're in debt your priorities change and you have to cut back-no question. I've had many years of going out 3 times a week, buying loads of clothes, getting beauty treatments etc and look at the debt i have to show for it! You sound like a pretty decent person to me and your post made me laugh! I went out for dinner with friends who have great jobs and no kids and one was talking about her bedroom furniture she was having made which was £12,000! I had to sit there nodding and smiling as if it was an everyday spend to me too when really I was thinking that I could make that last for a year to live on! I do worry about money and spending and my husband calls me scrooge and teases me about the Sun holidays I always save up for in caravans-until I pointed out to him that we have been on 4 lovely seaside holidays this year for £200 for the lot!

continualdiamond

Totally understand how you feel. I would be extremely grumpy at someone complaining that £200 a mth on entertainment wasn't enough if that had been posted between Feb - Aug this year.

Purely cos my OH was unemployed and entertainment went out the window. We had £0 for entertainment, no cinema, take aways, staff dos, zilch. We nearly lost our house.

When he got a job, i was soooo excited to be able to go to the cinema and for a meal before hand.

Though the job he has pay wise is a lot less than his previous job and its hard adjusting. I haven't bought shoes in like a year and i get my clothes off ebay. I haven't bought clothes from a high street store in years, so yea im pretty sad, no girlie shopping and trying clothes on for me, just can't do it.

I gulped when i had to pay £28 for a new bra, even then i only bought 1, bought the others off ebay.....

But the way i see it, he has a job and it is a thousand times better than when he didn't.

MissShoes

oh Icka you're not a grump...you're human! don't panic- we've all gone thru these moments of mad rage/jealousy/lumps in throats/green-eyed monsteryness/hatred/down in the dumps because you want new shoes.

Keep your chin up and just picture your life in 6 months DF every time you feel jealous or hard done by. It's going to be totally worth it...and you certainly won't feel that you missed out by not having Chinese takeaways or new boots! xxxxx